tb24 Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 I messaged a girl on okcupid and got talking. It turns out we have some mutual acquaintances, she's friends with one of my friend's friends. Anyway, turns out we both like a small local band that very few people would even have heard of. She very quickly asked if I'd like to go with her to their next gig. They're not playing again soon so I suggested another band I like who are playing locally. Since then she moved back to london (a 40 min train journey from me and where she was living during her break from university) but seems eager to meet up, which is fine, I'd like to meet her too. I suggested seeing the same band in london but said I can't stay out late because I need to get the train back and they don't run that late. This is what worries me, she said I could 'crash at hers'. I've never even MET her. Yeah, she seems cool... but who would invite someone they've never even met to stay at their house? We haven't even talked that much online! I know I'm trustworthy but how does she know that? I'm not gonna agree to stay with someone I've never even met! I'll go to the date but it seems VERY forward of her. I'm probably reading too much into it, but it seems like a red flag to me.
madjac74 Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 How many people shack up with someone they met the same night at a bar or club? A lot! Sure it may not be the smartest thing but it is common. And that usually involves sex. Since she is plannong this ahead she may just mean you can crash on her couch. Unless the date goes well
Author tb24 Posted September 14, 2011 Author Posted September 14, 2011 Yes she does mean crash on her couch, she's not THAT forward . But even hooking up with someone you've met at a club seems different that someone you've only ever spoken to online.. I guess it's not, but it seems different to me somehow.
Andy_K Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 I would just go with the flow and not worry about it. If you're going to make a red flag out of this it seems like you're just looking for problems.
thatone Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 you can bet on the fact that she checked you out with the mutual friend. the friend probably told her you are not in fact a rapist or axe murderer. so she doesn't have any reason to distrust you inherently. don't give her any doubt. just sleep on the couch.
Author tb24 Posted September 14, 2011 Author Posted September 14, 2011 haha well I'm meeting her at the gig so I think I'm safe I'm not looking for problems I'd just feel awkward about agreeing to stay at hers before I've even met her. I mean we might not even get on in real life (I'm sure we will, but there's always a chance...). It's our first date.. I'd rather meet her and get to know her without any obligation of anything else. How is that making it a problem?
BeyondtheClouds Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 You mention that she was recently at university. I remember those days as well. Particularly when you're travelling, a friend hands you someone's address (this was the pre digital age) and yeah, you thought nothing of crashing on that person (male or female) 's couch, floor, whatever. These days I would not do that nor would I encourage a guy to crash at my place. As someone else said, you two determined that you knew someone(s) in common, well, that's the only string I had to in my couch crashing days. How old are you?
Author tb24 Posted September 14, 2011 Author Posted September 14, 2011 (edited) To answer the questions: I'm 25, she's 20. We're both british. Uh.. I just want a date? To see what she's like in person before deciding whether I like her in that way or not. Is that so abnormal? I'm sure we'll get on well but jeez, I'm single, not desperate. I bet if this had been the other way around, a guy inviting a girl to stay at his place on the first date everyone would be like "Nooo, don't go to his". Edited September 14, 2011 by tb24
Eddie Edirol Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 She might have an agenda TB, watch out. Maybe you should do some research on her, find out if she just got dumped. She might be aggressive to use you for a rebound, or one night stand. When you talk to her, watch out to see if she is curious about who you are as a person. Dont go taking it seriously or making any expectations until you get to know her.
Author tb24 Posted September 14, 2011 Author Posted September 14, 2011 Well that was my plan and why I just want a date. I don't know if it will go anywhere. She seems nice enough online, I just want to get to know her better before becoming bunk buddies.
Recommended Posts