domesticated male Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 I cant help but try and fix it, i feel like just giving up today, please help give reason to why i should just walking away after 8 years. oh god please help me :lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao: this is msg i sent her today she didnt reply as per usual Bubbles we were more than just lover's u were my best friend I would give my soul for you. We are soul mates. Look at everyone else they have kids/married except for Kate and mia I'm sure u don't want to be left out, and do u think their happy ? This year had been the worst for the relationship. Next year was going to be our best. And you know that! We were going to buy a house have children get a kitten And start your new career. Which I'm so proud of you for, I gave you space because you were getting such great marks. So I just kept away I'm sorry, I didn't think youd run away I thought you were stronger than that after everything we have been through. Getting married to change you name so the school kids would laugh. I don't want u to be the crazy cat lady. Your walking away from the perfect man, I work, cook, clean and always be their for our children. We could travel as much as we wanted to once we paid of the house with 2 decent incomes it would only take like 15 years. Your not going to find Someone soon that u can trust as much as me to do all this with. You ****ing 30 now for god sake. We have made mistakes but we learn from it. I've surported us for the last 4 years walking to work in the rain I've done so much because I loved you. Yes were so different I'm yin and your yang. But that just make the relationship stronger. Don't u want to get old with someone that will be their till the day they die ? Oh god Ness please see the truth in this. I enter this relationship knowing ur the one for me. I called u for like 6 months just to check to see. Your killing me girl how on earth can I trust another woman after this. I can even imagine being with someone else. Please girl please xxx
TheDovic Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 Here's the way it is dude. Women break up with us usually because they have lost attraction for us... No matter what way you look at it this statement is right! Now, the only way to ever get them back is to make them feel attraction again!!! Now the opposite of attraction is neediness and desperation, so if you ever want her back you've got to STOP sending messages like this! You have also tried to use fear and guilt throughout this message but once again all this will do is push her away further - I promise you that! You need to trawl the internet and read some books if you want to have any chance of getting her back because what you're doing right now will PUSH HER AWAY and ultimately FAIL. In saying that I know how hard it is to keep your emotions in check after a break up, but if you want her back you have to try. Books to try: Anything by John Alexander or David DeAngelo. Websites: http://www.getherback.com/ (Lots of great advice on there) http://www.torontosnumber1datedoctor.com/NEWSLETTER%20ARTICLES/PastNews1.htm#getting_ex_back (Not bad either) Good luck buddy, but read these things before contacting her again
Besmy Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 The Dovic is right. Your message is heart-touching...for those like us who are not her. I don't know the details of your story but if she doesn't appreciate you, if she doesn't realise all those nice things you do for her / you would do for her, then too bad for her. She will try somebody else and probably realise what she has lost. I feel sorry for you and send you a big big hug.
Author domesticated male Posted September 14, 2011 Author Posted September 14, 2011 thanks so much i don't want to lose her, i feel if i used NC she will be just used it to get further away i will read those things. and make a real effort to NC but i ve help her and me so much over the past 8 years, he freinds and faimly are all so sorry i was part of them as well hell i was just talking to her brother. she left me beacuse she doesnt love me anymore and if want your saying is right ive just killed it more oh noooo....
TheDovic Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 Doesn't mean you've lost her dude, just means you've a bit of work to do! We've ALL been there, when we beg and plead, because nobody ever told us how we should react in these situations! Your ex will understand that you're going through a tough time so will understand... but my point is you can't do this again. Read what I told you to read, get your power back and start being the man she fell in love with. This is how you can get her back!!! Also read this post by Christie G: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t297518/
Besmy Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 Do you know why (you believe that) she doesn't love you any more? Has she met anyone else? What changed during your relationship that might have caused her to fall out of love?
Author domesticated male Posted September 14, 2011 Author Posted September 14, 2011 i gave her space, i work, cook and clean. so im always tired she never help. i used to test her by a simple change of the toilet roll she would just leave it on the ground and leave the next one as well. id asked her to help and sometimes she would she would make the make the biggest deal of it as well so i just did it to avoid her yelling at me. while she study, she was getting great marks at uni, so the our system was working, i thought we were alot stronger than the general relationship we never fight unless she was drunk, i dont drink very often because of my past ( my farther was an alcohic, and ruin my family, my pop died beacuse of it and working in a pub club/nightclub for 11 years) she was going to start her new career next year. ive been giving her time with friends instead of spending it with me, i turn into a homebody to save for future, i stop doing what i enjoyed doing because i was content. i didnt think giving her space would cause this. i did want to presure her into doing things with me, i not very social because of job is alot of heavy lifting i am fit and strong. but after the cooking and cleaning i get get very run down. with working in the hospitality industry for so long before my new career has also turn me very unsocial, my mates are their at the drop of a hat, but i cant bother them to much they have their own problems as everyone does.
TheDovic Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 All classic reasons men get dumped! You were too nice, you stopped being your own man, you stopped having a life of your own... I know this because it's exactly what I did and it hurts so much when your girl leaves because you think you have done so much for her. Problem is, doing these things are nice but they are not attractive. I know you didn't really have a choice because your ex had to study but in doing it, it killed her attraction to you. How many movies or books are about a madly in love couple where the man is super nice and lets the girl away with everything...??? NONE All great love stories are about a man who has his **** together, doesn't take **** from his girl, is mysterious, confident and fun!!! Sure enough the woman usually calms him down but she knows underneath he is a bad boy, and that's what she is attracted to... so become this man and you'll give yourself 100 times more of a chance! You can do it dude, man up!!!!
Author domesticated male Posted September 14, 2011 Author Posted September 14, 2011 cheers mate, i will stop hassling her, but what am i spose to do if she doesnt come back, all she took was her clothes, she said she give me $5000 for the car i bought her, i own everything. i bought her a iphone4 for her birthday a few weeks ago she wants to give it back as well, and i dont want it, i bought it to help her in life. she has nothing to gain by leaving. how long do i wait till i try and see other woman ? i have so many freinds that are girls that would love to go out with me, i used to set up my brother with them beacuse of this. thanks for the surport i will man up ragggggggggggggggggeeeeeeeeee haha ive been venting till a girl i used to be close to and shes been thier for me. should i use this to get over her i dont want to lose the one i love thou.
TheDovic Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 (edited) Best advice I can give you is to go no contact for a few weeks (try 3 - I kmow this will be hard but is vital) to get your head straight and read the material I told you to and become the man you want to be. You're ex might even wonder why you have stopped calling / texting and this might make her start to miss you. The more you're in contact with her at the moment (when you're in such a dark place) the more she can justify her decision to leave. Let her see life isn't so great without you! If she calls asking to give you money for the car or to get things back politely reply that you will get back to her when you get a chance (things are then on your terms - like a man!!!). Don't let her have the psychological closure of returning her things / paying you the money she owes just yet. If you're not ready to date again then don't, you'll know when you are ready. Generally not a bad idea to wait one month for every year you've been together, so in your case 5 months! (Although this is different for everyone so don't put pressure on yourself). It doesn't hurt to go out the odd time with another woman, just don't tell your ex. If she texts asking to come and get her stuff you could say something like "I can't talk right now as I have a friend round." This might get her thinking "is it a woman" (and may make her jeaous - remember women want a man who has things going on in their life) but because you have only said friend she is less likely to think you have definitely moved on. Get her thinking dude! Keep speaking to the other girl too if she's a good support. You need people around you at times like these Edited September 14, 2011 by TheDovic
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