Author Mark1 Posted September 14, 2011 Author Posted September 14, 2011 If neither of us are looking for something long term, we're okay for something casual, no?
madjac74 Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 I don't think there is anything wrong with dating to help yourself move on. Yes she is getting a little too attached too fast because she wants to replace all the things she misses from being in a relationship which isn't good. I got into a relationship a few months after my seperation. It was pretty much a disaster because we were both coming out of long relationships and also we were both enjoying the party life too much. But I dont regret the experience and the confidence it gave me and the fact that it helped me get over my ex because i knew I could do better. I think you should give this girl a chance and go have fun. Help her get her mind off her ex. You can control how fast things go and possibly help her in the process. You guys could even just become friends which is never a bad thing. I had plenty of dates end up as really great friends
EnigmaticClarity Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 If neither of us are looking for something long term, we're okay for something casual, no? Hmm, yea, if short-term is fine with you, I guess you're covered!
GivenUp0083 Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 I met this girl on a dating site (lame, I know) Why is this lame? You use the internet to shop or find a job....why wouldn't you use it to meet new people? I use the internet to meet women who are interested in dating....are you telling me that I'm lame? She is nice, but has gotten kinda clingy, (We havent even met yet). Saying things like, "You are wonderful," "There aren't people in this world like you" and "you have beautiful eyes" "Im so happy I met you." "im not pretty" etc Today she admitted she had a bit of a crush on me. ***She also said she isn't over her last breakup*** We are meeting for coffee tomorrow. What should I do? I don't want her, or I, to get emotionally invested right off the bat, but I also don't want to be a jerk. Any advice? Ok, so you haven't 'met' her yet. The problem with what you've been doing is you've been talking TOO MUCH before actually meeting. That mistake is on the BOTH of you, not just her. Try being upfront and honest with her. Tell her you're just looking to meet new people at this point and trying to see if there's any connection. Make her understand you're wanting to take things slow and just get to know each other at this point. Then meet up. You never know, you could meet this girl for a drink and she could be drop dead gorgeous (pictures are almost always deceiving in some way, good and bad), and maybe you end up getting along really well and talking for hours. It's happened to me before. Just don't think too much, don't get too far ahead of yourselves, just meet and have a nice time, don't expect more out of it, and explain to her that those are your expectations. She's a person, not a weirdo, she is a little clingy it sounds like but that happens sometimes. Just be respectful and honest, and if she doesn't see things the same way then explain to her that maybe you aren't looking for the same thing and that dating might not be a good idea. Be mature about it.
c0nfuzd Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 for all you know Mark, she might not even look the same as she does in her online pic so check her out and use the advice given so far; but also use your common sense you will know what is right and wrong to do and most likely within the first 10 minutes of meeting her good luck
Author Mark1 Posted September 15, 2011 Author Posted September 15, 2011 Topless makeout on her bed. Good stuff.
Author Mark1 Posted September 15, 2011 Author Posted September 15, 2011 so, second date? Indeed. If I may share a little secret, this is the farthest I've been with a woman. I was surprised at a) how well we moved and communicated together, b) how she said I really knew what I was doing and c) how I didn't get a huge erection Thoughts?
iJester Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 Dude, it's online dating. She's using you, so you may as well use her. You said she's cute, so **** her a few times, then fade out and go back on the site. Seems like you're gonna catch feelings though. Might be good for both of you, who knows. Just keep in mind that people that fall this quickly, fall out just as fast.
sweetypielovely Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 If you go shes gonna think you like her and feel the same. Cancel
grkBoy Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 What should I do? I don't want her, or I, to get emotionally invested right off the bat, but I also don't want to be a jerk. Any advice? Just tell her the truth. Tell her you think she's attractive and interesting, but she's moving a bit too quickly for you. Tell her you're not against commitment, relationships, and such, but you're also not going to just dive into things like you two had been together for years. Slow things down. If she bails, then move on. If she slows down, is good to you, cares about you, etc...then why toss away a good thing? Just make sure you keep your hormones in check. I made the mistake once with a rebound. She wanted to take it slow, but we got drunk and ended up having sex. While I was still wanting to build a relationship, her baggage came out fully and it messed things up. So if she's trying to bang you too soon...show some restraint and say you're not ready yet.
Author Mark1 Posted September 15, 2011 Author Posted September 15, 2011 Just tell her the truth. Tell her you think she's attractive and interesting, but she's moving a bit too quickly for you. Tell her you're not against commitment, relationships, and such, but you're also not going to just dive into things like you two had been together for years. Slow things down. If she bails, then move on. If she slows down, is good to you, cares about you, etc...then why toss away a good thing? Just make sure you keep your hormones in check. I made the mistake once with a rebound. She wanted to take it slow, but we got drunk and ended up having sex. While I was still wanting to build a relationship, her baggage came out fully and it messed things up. So if she's trying to bang you too soon...show some restraint and say you're not ready yet. Thanks. I actually wanted to have sex, but she said no, and I'm glad we decided not to.
cerridwen Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 Just tell her the truth. Tell her you think she's attractive and interesting, but she's moving a bit too quickly for you. Tell her you're not against commitment, relationships, and such, but you're also not going to just dive into things like you two had been together for years. Slow things down. If she bails, then move on. If she slows down, is good to you, cares about you, etc...then why toss away a good thing? Just make sure you keep your hormones in check. I made the mistake once with a rebound. She wanted to take it slow, but we got drunk and ended up having sex. While I was still wanting to build a relationship, her baggage came out fully and it messed things up. So if she's trying to bang you too soon...show some restraint and say you're not ready yet. Good advice, grkBoy. Donuts to dollars she'll take it as a challenge if you say you're not ready.
Author Mark1 Posted September 15, 2011 Author Posted September 15, 2011 Good advice, grkBoy. Donuts to dollars she'll take it as a challenge if you say you're not ready. So she'll try to get my to give in?
cerridwen Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 So she'll try to get my to give in? Quite possibly from the little I know of her. Were you to push the issue, her defenses would likely come up. But if YOU honestly want to hold off and take things slow, well, that's a horse of a different color.
Author Mark1 Posted September 15, 2011 Author Posted September 15, 2011 Quite possibly from the little I know of her. Were you to push the issue, her defenses would likely come up. But if YOU honestly want to hold off and take things slow, well, that's a horse of a different color. Well, after thinking about it this morning, I honestly want to take things slow, and I stand firm in that. What should I do if she presses?
coolheadal Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 Well just be careful you never know how these women are. Though some guys can't find any real girls in the real world so the virtual world seems to do wonders for men and women. Now just bring to the two worlds together to have something good. Just keep us inform with your progress and you should do well by us.
Author Mark1 Posted September 15, 2011 Author Posted September 15, 2011 Indeed. If I may share a little secret, this is the farthest I've been with a woman. I was surprised at a) how well we moved and communicated together, b) how she said I really knew what I was doing and c) how I didn't get a huge erection Thoughts? Any thoughts on this?
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