ConfusedGuy28 Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 Wrote a much longer post a few days ago, I'll stick to quick bullet points this time: - Met a girl, got her number - Asked her to come out with a group a couple weeks ago, she said yes - canceled the day before because her and her roommate were moving in to a new place the next day (understandable). - said she'd text me saturday, but she never did - Last week i asked her to come to a bbq I was throwing, she said yes - She came to the bbq, stayed for a bit, but was meeting up with her friends - Gave me a hug and said she'd text me and I should meet up with her - She did text, but by that point I had already had a long day and went to sleep - Today, I asked her to dinner. - She said she was super busy this month with her rotation (also a medical student) because its 7 days a week. - I figured she was blowing me off so I was just like "ok then, that's cool" - Then she said "well maybe we can all chill as a group this weekend" and seemed excited about hanging out ------- A girl friend of mine thinks she just wants to get to know me better and isn't ready for 1:1 so early. I very clearly the girl I'm interested in know I like her - but not overkill. Flirting, teasing - very obvious stuff What do you guys think? Interested or LJBF?
Stung Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 I think everyone is trying to figure out whether you mean LGBT, or if that's supposed to be an acronym for "let's just be friends."
Author ConfusedGuy28 Posted September 14, 2011 Author Posted September 14, 2011 I think everyone is trying to figure out whether you mean LGBT, or if that's supposed to be an acronym for "let's just be friends." Let's Just Be Friends lol
Imageiko Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 A girl friend of mine thinks she just wants to get to know me better and isn't ready for 1:1 so early. I agree with this. If she flakes/cancels she is apologetic and suggesting alternatives which is a sign of interest. I'd give it some more time before I ljbf her.
LadyWriter Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 A girl friend of mine thinks she just wants to get to know me better and isn't ready for 1:1 so early Eventhough she's had to cancel, if she wasn't really interested, she wouldn't keep suggesting you two get together. Sounds like she may genuinely be pretty busy. Do the group date thing and let her get comfortable, then you can make your way towards a one-on-one thing.
Author ConfusedGuy28 Posted September 14, 2011 Author Posted September 14, 2011 Eventhough she's had to cancel, if she wasn't really interested, she wouldn't keep suggesting you two get together. Sounds like she may genuinely be pretty busy. Do the group date thing and let her get comfortable, then you can make your way towards a one-on-one thing. Cool, sounds good. I got no problem with that. I'd like to get to know her better anyways and see if she's worth my time. On a completely random note - please go listen to Bon Iver. Group (? - really just one guy) is the definition of serene. Holocene is one of my favs
Author ConfusedGuy28 Posted September 14, 2011 Author Posted September 14, 2011 Now for the really strange part: I met her at dinner one night. My buddy brought her and her friend along and we had a nice convo and were laughing the whole time. I asked my friend if she was single the next day and he was all "sorry bro, she had a boyfriend at my medical school, he's a friend of mine" It sounded BS to me (because of the vibe I got from her) so I asked her for her number that next day and invited her out. Then, the bbq came. I told my friend she was coming and he was all "really? that's weird. why is she coming? that's surprising...." Then she texts me to come meet her and her friends late that night, and again, he's all "man, let's just chill here. she's cool and all but i know her friends, they're really weird, it won't be fun" ------------- He really seems to be trying to cock block the **** out of me. That same girl friend of mine very much agrees. He has a girlfriend going on 3 years, so unless it's a case of she HAD a bf and said ex-bf still pines for her....I'm having a hard time figuring it out
GivenUp0083 Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 Go with your gut CG, if you're putting forth an effort and she just doesn't have time and you feel it in your chest that she's just not all that excited about seeing you, you are probably right. If she liked you it wouldn't be this confusing or difficult to schedule a date with her. She likely has an agenda. You don't know what that agenda is, but you do know it's likely not involving a date with you. The best way to handle this situation? Find another girl. Even if it's one you're not as into or crazy about, just start talking to her more and spending time with her, forget all about the flake girl, and if flake girl REALLY has interest, she'll try to make time to see you and she'll be calling YOU to go out. Just be careful, she could (not saying she is) be one of those girls that just likes guys who chase her eventhough she's not really interested in them. She just likes the idea of a guy who will ask her out each week because it boosts her ego.
GivenUp0083 Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 Oh, and one more thing: stop it with the group dates. If you're interested in her romantically, ask her to do something JUST THE TWO OF YOU. 1. Group dates sends a mixed signal that you are okay with just being friends 2. She has to earn that time to meet your friends and hang out with them, that's a stage in the dating process that comes later, and you're skipping right to it. If she wants to see you in a social setting and find out what kind of people you are friends with, let her wonder about that, in the meantime she has to earn that stage with you by going out on dates, having fun just the two of you, having that first kiss goodnight, etc. Don't give away your goods right away.
cloud10 Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 I'm going through this exact same situation. I would be patient with this one and not focus all your attention on this one girl. It sounds like she's interested but focusing on the more important things in life - herself. If you think she's worth the time and effort. Stick around, otherwise keep your options open.
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