Professor X Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 "I'd like to take you out this weekend, but if not, it was a blast spending time with you and I'm ready to let you go." You're ready to let her go? Since when was she yours? If I'm not mistaken you never were a thing to begin with. And here, look at you, a few weeks after still obsessing over her. You're starting to go into the creep zone.
Author ksmit Posted September 23, 2011 Author Posted September 23, 2011 you don't give the option of saying no when you ask her out. that's a terrible line. Can you give an example? Am I supposed to say "Make sure you're free Saturday because I'm taking you out"? you ask casually as if you fully expect her to say yes. if it's the same one, your window of opportunity i think has long since passed. Thanks for telling me to just give up. I need help finding closure though. You're ready to let her go? Since when was she yours? If I'm not mistaken you never were a thing to begin with. And here, look at you, a few weeks after still obsessing over her. You're starting to go into the creep zone. I think she would know what I mean. Let go, aka, stop trying to go out with her. Again... what would be the best way to know for sure how she feels? I could move on much easier if I knew for sure...
Eddie Edirol Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 I don't know how much of the thread you read, but it's not that early in the dating game. We've been communicating and seeing each other for months. If she wasn't still interested in me, why would she be super excited to see me after not seeing me for a while, then be sad and tired the following couple days? She has shown these patterns before when she was VERY interested. Even though I try to be descriptive, you don't know the whole story so you should always give me the benefit of the doubt. I think it's rather bold of you to just tell me to give up. Did you even read any of this thread? She tried to treat me to dinner last week. Just because she treated you to dinner doesnt mean shes romantically interested in you. She is using you for friendship and attention, which I said in my last post. Did you gloss over that part? I dont have to give you the benefit of the doubt, because youre not really listening to anyone anyway. You dont even realize that you dont have the dating experience to realize that this girl isnt into you. Youve been hanging around this girl for months in denial about her not liking you. maybe you havent ever run into attention whores before.
Eddie Edirol Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 Thanks for telling me to just give up. I need help finding closure though. Again... what would be the best way to know for sure how she feels? I could move on much easier if I knew for sure... Youre never going to get closure from her, because she wont let her attention source get away, she will give you just enough to keep you on the hook. Your closure has to come from you, and you have to realize that nothing is happening here after so many months. She isnt going to tell you how she feels, because it defeats her purpose of you working for her.
Author ksmit Posted September 23, 2011 Author Posted September 23, 2011 Eddie, I don't know if you read my other threads before, but this girl was definitely romantically interested in me for months. Just a couple weeks ago she invited me out on a late night walk and even invited me into her home. I only hugged her that night and I think she thought I friend-zoned her and was hurt. She was acting strange the whole following week. Where I went wrong this whole time was never showing enough romantic interest. I always sort of treated her like a best friend as I don't know how to express my feelings and just not a touchy-feely person. I respect personal space too much. I don't think she's using me for attention. When I'm not attracted to a girl, I feel comfortable and stable around them because I know I'm in control and don't care about outcomes. I don't act shy and weird. Remember she is a very sensitive and shy girl. Does this change your opinion at all?
Eddie Edirol Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 Eddie, I don't know if you read my other threads before, but this girl was definitely romantically interested in me for months. Just a couple weeks ago she invited me out on a late night walk and even invited me into her home. I only hugged her that night and I think she thought I friend-zoned her and was hurt. She was acting strange the whole following week. Where I went wrong this whole time was never showing enough romantic interest. I always sort of treated her like a best friend as I don't know how to express my feelings and just not a touchy-feely person. I respect personal space too much. I don't think she's using me for attention. When I'm not attracted to a girl, I feel comfortable and stable around them because I know I'm in control and don't care about outcomes. I don't act shy and weird. Remember she is a very sensitive and shy girl. Does this change your opinion at all? Are you going to try to kiss her or are you going to continue to pussyfoot around it?
Author ksmit Posted September 23, 2011 Author Posted September 23, 2011 (edited) Is that all you have to say? I can't make any sense of that. Please be more comprehensive. Edited September 23, 2011 by ksmit
Eddie Edirol Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 Is that all you have to say? I can't make any sense of that. Please be more comprehensive. Well if youre so convinced that she thought you friend-zoned her, and that she is romantically attracted to you, when are you going to finally go in for a kiss?
Author ksmit Posted September 23, 2011 Author Posted September 23, 2011 Based off your last post, I've already lost. Why would I kiss her then?
Eddie Edirol Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 Based off your last post, I've already lost. Why would I kiss her then? My point exactly.
Author ksmit Posted September 23, 2011 Author Posted September 23, 2011 Nevermind... despite her mixed signals this week, it does really seem to be over.
Author ksmit Posted September 24, 2011 Author Posted September 24, 2011 (edited) How does everyone feel about tying up loose ends with a girl after she's moved on? For instance, being open and honest. Just because it didn't work out right now doesn't mean I shouldn't still make the best of it. I think it would be a relief for both of us to clear up where we stand with each other. More importantly it would provide me much relief because it provides a sense of closure. It's not a very bad idea is it? She never told me she just wanted to be friends, so maybe I should tell her first. From what I read, if you friend a girl before they friend you, it can make them more attracted to you. Not only that, it sends the message that I don't need her, which falls under Attraction 101. Anyone have any insight on this or how I can play my cards at this point? Would it be beneficial to simply tell her I enjoyed the time we spent together and that I still value our friendship? Keep in mind we do work together so it would be ideal to keep our friendship professional and friendly. Or should I just continue to behave like normal with her like nothing happened? Edited September 24, 2011 by ksmit
thatone Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 what loose ends? you never even kissed her. there was nothing. any chance, you missed it.
Author ksmit Posted September 24, 2011 Author Posted September 24, 2011 Can you please read more than the first sentence? I want to know how to behave now to keep things cool between us. Would it be reasonable to just tell her I enjoyed our time together and that I wish her the best?
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