garygary1 Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 I met a girl at a party and had really great time dancing with her for like 2 hours and got her number. a couple days later, i texted her and tried casually asking her out. Heres how the convo went: (names changed) Me: Hey Natalie! Hows life been since saturday? Her: David! Well other than loads of homework i somehow got through life is good, how are you on this fine monday? Me: I'm feeling great , had a great day at school and went on a bike ride. its so nice outside. Her: Its blustery outside but i agree i love these kind of days, wish the beach was closer to campus cuz thats definitely where id be if i could Me: the beach would be great today, though its getting a little late. I could actually really go for some coffee right now, wanna come along? (heres where i screwed up) Me 10 min later: unless ur busy? Her another 45 min later: well see i dont wanna stunt my growth and coffee isn't my forte, but don't keep from fun just cuz im lame Me: oh well, im actually drinking coffee right now lol. looks like i'll be 5 11 forever . What kind of classes are you taking this semester? (lame attempt to keep the convo going) NO ANSWER I definitely think i went in for the kill a little early, but did i freak her out? She was saying that she was bad at dancing a lot when we were dancing and i told her i didn't cared and to just have fun, so im not sure if shes just reluctant from a lack of confidence or if i really freaked her out. Also, either way, should i text her back?
Keridan Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 You were fine, but it honestly seems she may not be interested. I say make casual conversation one more time. Get a read on her interest level. Don't be pushy and you will be fine. If she doesn't respond again, move on. Good luck!
thehead Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 You didn't go in too early nor were you too pushy. Don't text her again though. That she let things die and hasn't contacted you again says she's not interested.
Imageiko Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 I don't like the "unless your busy" follow up text, but other than that I think you did fine. I've only gone for the spontaneous date if I'm talking to them in person out somewhere but I guess it can't be that different via text? I'd pull back a bit now though as it seems she pulled away a bit.
thatone Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 yeah, unless your busy was a bad move. don't invite her to say no. so here's the other thing, she said something about the beach. that's where you should've invited her to go. or something very similar. that's the only purpose of these initial conversations. you see all these threads on this forum from women talking about how great their first date with and how it's funny that they have soooooo much in common with the guy they just met? that's not necessarily true, it's just that those guys paid attention and suggested doing things that they already knew she wanted to do.
Andy_K Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 Agree with the two points above 1) asking for a spontaneous date by text is very high risk, it's the sort of thing you can do in person, but text not so much 2) She mentioned the beach. Beach is more fun than coffee. Coffee does not scream 'fun and relaxing' to anyone. With that in mind, you'd probably have been better off saying something like "yeah, I love the beach too. We should go on [some day], it would be cool"
Thornton Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 I'm more likely to say yes to a date at some point in the future. If someone asked me to meet them right this second I'd probably say no. Not because I'm not interested, but because I don't really like being asked to do something unexpectedly, especially if it's a date where I'd want to style my hair and wear my best outfit etc. I say give her one more chance, and try to arrange a date in advance. If she's still unresponsive, cut your losses.
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