quietGuy13 Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 I'm never gonna be liked. i'm not cocky and i'm not a player. As you've seen in my other meessages i've proven time and time again that women lie and dont want to be friends with me, yet they love being friends with cocky/player guys. So Scientifically speaking/Biologically speaking... what's the point of us average or below average guys who are also not good speakers ? I really don't, in terms of love, understand why i was even born with attraction to women if they dont even like me. I should have been born a Worm or maggot.
Cracker Jack Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 Stop it with the self-pity. There are plenty of average/below average men that aren't players, who are happy and HAVE someone who's in love with them. Dunno what answers you're looking for here. Oh, yeah. What happened to those plans for the weekend with the woman?
AHardDaysNight Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 You have autism. Of course you're going to be overlooked by the majority of women. Same with me for having an anxiety disorder. That doesn't mean, however, that both of us can't find a girl who appreciates us!
omkara Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 Stop blaming the "cocky/player guy" on all of your mishaps. That won't get you anywhere.
AHardDaysNight Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 Stop blaming the "cocky/player guy" on all of your mishaps. That won't get you anywhere. Well, for all intents and purposes, he doesn't have game. See my "what is game?" thread for more information. People can't define "game", but they know it when they see it. People with social awkwardness, anxiety disorders, autism, Aspies, or general shyness don't have "game." They can blame it on the way they look, but they can look like Brad Pitt, and if they don't have the skill, they won't be able to get a girl. What's the best way to get a girlfriend? = Already have a girlfriend
Lilmisus Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 The best way to get a girl attracted to you, is to have confidence. You obviously don't have it, and from others have said, you're autistic so I can understand why you wouldn't. BUT! That doesn't mean you're allowed to throw a pity party or go on about "woe is me" just because you haven't met someone who likes you yet. Give it time, and work on the confidence.
Eddie Edirol Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 (edited) I should have been born a Worm or maggot. You were already born a worm. See women need you to speak fluently, and at least on their individual intelligence level to stimulate their minds. Since you cant talk, you cant do that. Its the same as trying to talk to women in puerto rico and you cant speak spanish. So instead of trolling this board, you should spend your seemingly endless brain energy on learning how to talk right. THEN you can worry about women. Or dont, and keep wasting peoples time on message boards. You started three threads here today, how many other boards do you post this vapidness? Edited September 14, 2011 by Eddie Edirol
ScienceGal Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 (edited) I do not like cocky guys, nor players. But, I do like a guy that has self confidence. I also like a guy that knows himself and what he likes and wants. This is everything from hobbies/activities, and also what he is looking for in a partnership. I'm not picky either (except hunting, that's a dealbreaker )... but generally if you're driven, my interest is peaked and I want to hear about you. We may end up being friends, or more, both take a little time to figure out. Just be you and don't be ashamed of it. Be kind, be sincere, but mostly, be good to yourself. Don't be a doormat. Know how to walk away from a bad situation quietly and with dignity. Don't associate with women that give you a bad gut feeling. The quicker you bypass them, the sooner you'll meet someone better. Edited September 14, 2011 by ScienceGal
omkara Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 Well, for all intents and purposes, he doesn't have game. See my "what is game?" thread for more information. People can't define "game", but they know it when they see it. People with social awkwardness, anxiety disorders, autism, Aspies, or general shyness don't have "game." They can blame it on the way they look, but they can look like Brad Pitt, and if they don't have the skill, they won't be able to get a girl. What's the best way to get a girlfriend? = Already have a girlfriend 'Course I know what game is. And it comes in many forms. You just have to play to your strengths. If OP's not a good talker, then learn how to write a love letter. This isn't rocket science. And the only way you get better at talking, is by doing more of it.
Ginger Beer Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 I found out what this is. I used to think it all the time but it's not really true. Women like men with confidence, it's just that most 'bad boy' types have this quality they look for. Nice guy types don't. I think it's that simple. Plus it's human nature to want what you can't have, so it would explain them still chasing after said 'bad boy' once he's dumped her.
AHardDaysNight Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 I think this goes past bad boy/nice guy threads. The OP is someone who by all standards probably comes off as a little boy, instead of a man. This is not uncommon, so do I. However, this does not make him a troll (like the vile Eddie stated), this just makes him someone who fits a square peg in a circle peg world. In essence, guys like us probably will never find the love of our lives, because we're doomed by our own genetics.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 Quiet Guy, I'm actualy turned off by cocky player types. That guy at the bar that's all loud and popular..not attractive. That man at the party that talks to 20 different women..not attractive. But, like ScienceGal said, I do like a confident man. I tend to personally go for the strong and silent types myself. I think you need to take the time to work on those parts of yourself that might make it difficult for a woman to connect with you. Such as with a therapist. Because you sound like a smart guy despite lacking the confidence. And while autism will make dating a bit more difficult, it doesn't make it impossible. It just matters how you approach it. If love is really important to you, and why shouldn't it be, then try approaching it differently and see what results you get. Meaning, take the time to work on your confidence and speach (if that's the issue) and approach finding love differently. If in your heart, you were born with attraction and a desire for love with women, there is a reason for that. Remember that.
AHardDaysNight Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 Not every woman is the same. Remember that.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 Are you copying my words? I love Buffy, by the way.
Titania22 Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 Hi quietguy13, I just wanted to say I understand the emotions you are feeling. I was feeling like that last week, although not for the same reasons. In the end, I knew I had to either accept always being alone and chaste, or I had to decide what on earth i could do that might change the situation. In my case I decided to start asking guys out. The bright side of this for me was that it gave me some control over my situation, and there is always the possibility (no matter how unlikely) that one day someone might say yes. Also the men I ask out unsuccessfully, the more justified I will feel when I finally get around to killing myself. Ultimately, just ask yourself if you can find peace with being without female company, and if not, ask yourself what you are willing to try to change your situation.
jmichael26 Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 The cocky/ player thing, isn't the cause of woman liking them, more than, just the fact that the guy is comfortable in his own skin at that moment. I think that's the main cause. I just got some real good advice from somebody on this forum that deals with that same subject. Which is to just engage a lot of girls without the expectation of asking them out but to just talk. Just talk and practice your conversation skills. I think it's just like anything else that takes skill: You've just got to practice, practice, practice, to get better, you know?
todd Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 I am so sick of seeing these posts and people complaining about the cards they were dealt in this world. If you do not like something about yourself, then change it. Stop having this sense of entitlement that you should have a girl just because you are a boy, even though you do not try to truly improve yourself. You can't expect anyone else to take you by the hand and lead you through this thing called life. Become an adult and take responsibility for yourself. If that means accepting the fact that you will never land a girl because you do not want to work on it or try to improve your confidence level then so be it. I was a TERRIBLE public speaker all my life. Did I accept this fact and never tried to speak in front of my peers again. No, I decided that I was going to improve myself and I threw myself into every awkward situation I could as a chance to practice and become comfortable. I took courses in public speaking, advanced public speaking, volunteered to speak for my group members whenever I had a presentation in college, etc. Every opportunity was just another step closer to get past my faults. Now I can speak in front of a class of 900 peers about sustainable design, or speak in front of 150 students everyday about surveying principles. I still get a little nervous when I talk to a hall of professors about my specializations but you know how I am going to get over that.. by exposing myself to it as much as possible. Don't run away from your pitfalls or try to avoid them, face them. You do not need to get every girl to like you, you just need one. If you devote an hour a day to working on bringing up your confidence and meeting girls, I bet you that in a couple months time you will have yourself a girl. But, will you actually try or are you just going to sit there and pity your life for the rest of the time God has given you on this Earth. If after you have approached at least 500 women and truly tried to close them and you still couldn't land one, have no confidence, and still hate you position with the opposite sex, then you are more then welcome to vent or troll.
betterdeal Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 What do you want from a woman? Do you think that you can have a relationship that doesn't have much talking in it? Or will it be quiet talking? If so, go look for a quiet girl, instead of looking for noisy girls. If you want a pop star, become a dancer. If you want a cheerleader, become a jock. If you want a quiet girl, go to the library, join a reading club, approach one of the geeky girls at school.
AHardDaysNight Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 ...And if you have language difficulties, what do you do then? If you have a mental illness, what do you do then? Just saying that the OP has to "just get over it" isn't helpful to him. If he could "just get over it", he would. The fact that he is here, on this forum, at this very moment, making posts about his situation, proves that he is frustrated at the hand he is dealt.
Eddie Edirol Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 The OP is someone who by all standards probably comes off as a little boy, instead of a man. This is not uncommon, so do I. However, this does not make him a troll (like the vile Eddie stated), this just makes him someone who fits a square peg in a circle peg world. I dunno, maybe you havent seen the obscene number of threads he started, I think this is a 13 year old boy playing on his moms computer, or in a hospital.. Doesnt really respond to the threads he starts, never takes the advise, a very accomplished troll.
AHardDaysNight Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 (edited) I dunno, maybe you havent seen the obscene number of threads he started, I think this is a 13 year old boy playing on his moms computer, or in a hospital.. Doesnt really respond to the threads he starts, never takes the advise, a very accomplished troll. If I had to respond to this accurately, I'd hurl a bunch of insults at you. Edited September 14, 2011 by AHardDaysNight
Cracker Jack Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 I dunno, maybe you havent seen the obscene number of threads he started, I think this is a 13 year old boy playing on his moms computer, or in a hospital.. Doesnt really respond to the threads he starts, never takes the advise, a very accomplished troll. He's mentally disabled, dood. Sometimes I get pretty frustrated at what appears to be self-sabotage in some of the situations he's in, but realize that that's the wrong way to look at it.I mainly get frustrated because I want to see him progress. I don't like seeing people down. Anyway, I doubt he's a troll posting topics for the thrills. He just needs help in some areas.
betterdeal Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 (edited) I'm never gonna be liked. i'm not cocky and i'm not a player. As you've seen in my other meessages i've proven time and time again that women lie and dont want to be friends with me, yet they love being friends with cocky/player guys. So Scientifically speaking/Biologically speaking... what's the point of us average or below average guys who are also not good speakers ? I really don't, in terms of love, understand why i was even born with attraction to women if they dont even like me. I should have been born a Worm or maggot. You are the result of thousands of generations of winners. Plenty of bloodlines have died out over time, reached a dead-end, and whole family lines gone extinct, but not yours. You are the sum of thousands of ancestors succeeding in finding a mate, mating, and raising a new generation. You're honed from the very stuff of success, of survival. You like women because that's how you were made. There's no need to have a reason for that - it's the way you were made. And you will find a woman who appreciates your awesomeness, when you're ready. It's not about whether they like you - it's about whether you like them. Get that and you'll be fine. And when you do get that, you'll realise that each humiliation, each rejection, each interaction is just a stepping stone, practice, feedback to make you even more awesome. Go out there and talk to women every day. Make mistakes. Get hurt. And get back up, and do it again and again, with a small tweak here and a little adjustment there each time. And learn. And enjoy it. That is how it works. Edited September 14, 2011 by betterdeal
Osiris1234 Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 Self-Esteem Goes A Long Way A cocky/jerk has no self-esteem. This poor man needs to act like a jerk to cover up his lack of confidence. It's a sad, sad case. Not only is he a jerk, he is also a great actor. His bad boy demeanor is his shield; the weapon that gives the illusion of confidence. Don't worry; the woman doesn't get away from this one easily. The woman who falls for this poor excuse of a man suffers from the same lack of self-esteem. In essence, these two make a perfect match. This poor girl has no self-esteem of her own and probably doesn't believe she can do better than this man. He has literally become the cause for the loss of all her friends and those Ben & Jerry's binges when he stands her up once again on Saturday night to meet his boys instead.
ascendotum Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 You were already born a worm. See women need you to speak fluently, and at least on their individual intelligence level to stimulate their minds. Since you cant talk, you cant do that. Its the same as trying to talk to women in puerto rico and you cant speak spanish. So instead of trolling this board, you should spend your seemingly endless brain energy on learning how to talk right. THEN you can worry about women. Or dont, and keep wasting peoples time on message boards. You started three threads here today, how many other boards do you post this vapidness? 3 threads today plus all the others. Jeeze, have a break from this site for a while QG. There's only so much that words on a screen are going to revolutionise your social/love life. Have you bought yourself some weights or started regularly going to a gym (if you can afford it) yet??? As a 'bag of bones' guy this should be the foundation of your ongoing self improvement program, and just mulling over it, is not going to get you where you want to be.
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