Karala Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 ...they come into these words: "I'm sorry, I made a mistake, I want you back". It makes me cringe so much when I read about the insane quest-for-signs-that-you-ex-wants-you-back that we all go through when we are dumped. I can't believe that this was my reality just a few months ago. Seems so insane to me now. IT THEY WANT TO BE BACK WITH YOU, WHY WOULDN'T THEY JUST TELL YOU?? It's so obvious now. Don't worry, they know you want to be with them. They know you're on their beck and call. You don't have to make it easy for them. If anything, it will only make you look LESS attractive to them. Stupid, but true. And yeah, you could maybe try and make yourself scarce so as to appear more desirable in their eyes, but seriously, aren't you tired of jumping through hoops? Wouldn't you rather go and find someone who appreciates you as you are? Wouldn't you even prefer to be alone, rather than have to put up an act? Sorry, I'm just ranting at myself from some time ago, I guess... How I wish that I had understood this sooner, would have saved me a lot of pain... But I'm really happy that I finally got it!
EgoJoe Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 Listen to two hours of metal and post in the morning.
Author Karala Posted September 13, 2011 Author Posted September 13, 2011 lol ^^ I'm actually not that angry, rather just annoyed, and like I said, dang relieved that I'm off that crazy rollercoaster. What a waste of time and energy. If you're into metal though, and/or need to vent any anger, I would recommand my brother's band, they're pretty good. ^^
andrew-bkk Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 ...they come into these words: "I'm sorry, I made a mistake, I want you back". It makes me cringe so much when I read about the insane quest-for-signs-that-you-ex-wants-you-back that we all go through when we are dumped. I can't believe that this was my reality just a few months ago. Seems so insane to me now. IT THEY WANT TO BE BACK WITH YOU, WHY WOULDN'T THEY JUST TELL YOU?? It's so obvious now. Don't worry, they know you want to be with them. They know you're on their beck and call. You don't have to make it easy for them. If anything, it will only make you look LESS attractive to them. Stupid, but true. And yeah, you could maybe try and make yourself scarce so as to appear more desirable in their eyes, but seriously, aren't you tired of jumping through hoops? Wouldn't you rather go and find someone who appreciates you as you are? Wouldn't you even prefer to be alone, rather than have to put up an act? Sorry, I'm just ranting at myself from some time ago, I guess... How I wish that I had understood this sooner, would have saved me a lot of pain... But I'm really happy that I finally got it! Excellent. And very true.
DenumChkn Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 IT THEY WANT TO BE BACK WITH YOU, WHY WOULDN'T THEY JUST TELL YOU?? I mostly agree with your post and honestly I'm glad you decided to rant, no apologies necessary =D However, I recall reading a post by a female dumper who said she would not come right out and tell her ex that she wanted him back, mainly to retain dignity and also not to scare the ex off. I know what you are saying though, you'd think if they felt that strongly they would just come right out and say it! I really think it depends on the person maybe.. Perhaps if they are able to come right out and say "I made a mistake" and apologize, they could be worth a second chance? (depending on what the circumstances of the breakup were, if cheating was involved I'd say no) I was only dumped about a month ago and am almost 3 weeks into NC, so I'll admit my vision is still fogged by that faint hope of reconciliation. Since you have a little more time and perspective I think I trust your judgment more haha. I felt like I relapsed today after an emotional phone call with my dad and just generally feeling lost - it felt like day 1 all over again. Reading your post after work has helped me put things back into perspective a little bit..
A7X Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 Nice rant, love it!! I usually do the same on a piece of paper at night, going over my feelings of the day and what I learned about everything that happened. I'm barely over a week into the breakup and my pain has turned to anger due to things I learned in the last few days. I wish I had known and realised all this about her before, my recovery would of been quicker. Now if the day comes and she says these words: "I'm sorry, I made a mistake, I want you back". I will want to tell her; I told you to never come back after you made your choices. Instead I will laugh and delete the msg.
Thieves Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 Sooooo very true. I cringe to think back when I accepted being "friends" when the guy I was into said he didn't want me anymore and was digging on a new chick he met. Pfft. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I stuck around because believe it or not, you learn a lot about a person by being their 'friend' and seeing how they act in other relationships. I observed a lot more about who he was as a person by being there and hearing him talking almost non-stop about his girlfriend... and with him clearly RUBBING it in my face sometimes. Yet guess who came calling when she cheated and broke up with him? The 'rubbing it in my face' part I do not miss, but like I said, learned a lot. For that reason ONLY am I glad that I was still desperate to win him over at that time. Glad that I was looking for mixed signals that he wanted me back, 'cause now I realize it's useless. It's like, c'mon. You had the balls to tell me straight out that you wanted me so bad the first time. You also had the balls to end it and say you didn't want me anymore. So why wouldn't they have the balls to ask for us (the dumpees) back? Dignity? Scared of being rejected or admitting they made a mistake? Then obviously they don't really want us back that much if that's the case. Love is bigger than pride.
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