Lilmissohdear Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 After two weeks of his calls and sms messages full of 'I love you forever', 'you're my soul mate', 'you're the best thing to ever happen to me' and a couple of meetings, I am finally angry with my ex-boyf. He dumped me as he didn't want to include me in weekly get togethers with his family, despite me knowing them for a year, getting on with them and other non family members being there. He has been bombarding me with these messages ever since in the hope that we can be 'friends'. I have been replying with similar sentiments, I suppose caught up in the romance of it all. Of course I realise now there is nothing romantic about being kept there on a comfort level for him. He could basically text/call/see me whenever he had nothing better to do. As a bit of an ego boost I suppose. He wants to be on his own for a long time now so he can concentrate on his children. He can't imagine life without me. It's just unfortunate timing blah blah blah. Today he has called me twice and been texting since 9am. He has had a tough day so I have been there for him via phone. My friend called before to tell me he has just appeared as a new member on her dating site. I am so angry!! With him and with myself for being suckered in. I immediately text him telling him not to contact me again and have ignored his three calls and sms message. I'm not usually an angry person and i'm not liking this feeling at all. How long can I expect it to last? What's the best way of me to deal with it because right now I feel like the Hulk!? All advice appreciated thanks
mike588 Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 After two weeks of his calls and sms messages full of 'I love you forever', 'you're my soul mate', 'you're the best thing to ever happen to me' and a couple of meetings, I am finally angry with my ex-boyf. He dumped me as he didn't want to include me in weekly get togethers with his family, despite me knowing them for a year, getting on with them and other non family members being there. He has been bombarding me with these messages ever since in the hope that we can be 'friends'. I have been replying with similar sentiments, I suppose caught up in the romance of it all. Of course I realise now there is nothing romantic about being kept there on a comfort level for him. He could basically text/call/see me whenever he had nothing better to do. As a bit of an ego boost I suppose. He wants to be on his own for a long time now so he can concentrate on his children. He can't imagine life without me. It's just unfortunate timing blah blah blah. Today he has called me twice and been texting since 9am. He has had a tough day so I have been there for him via phone. My friend called before to tell me he has just appeared as a new member on her dating site. I am so angry!! With him and with myself for being suckered in. I immediately text him telling him not to contact me again and have ignored his three calls and sms message. I'm not usually an angry person and i'm not liking this feeling at all. How long can I expect it to last? What's the best way of me to deal with it because right now I feel like the Hulk!? All advice appreciated thanks Quit replying to any and all messages he leaves you. Don't answer the phone if you know it's him calling. You can expect him to keep bugging you as long as you keep replying to him. Go 100% NO CONTACT! Eventually he will get the message.
TheDovic Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 I agree with the last post. If you really want him out of your life you have to go 100% no contact. No matter what you do at present you're going to hurt, but this way you'll heal a lot quicker!
ConfusedT Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 doesnt sound like you really want him gone or you'd ignore him. GO NC on him. if he wants to SHOW you that he can include you in what is important to you, he will. don't settle for anything less than what you really want!
EricaH329 Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 Ah, this post reminds me a lot of what I went through also. Hold onto the anger you are feeling, at least long enough to go NC. Use it to your advantage. Cut him out of your life now. I'm sorry you are going through this. I know this is hard. But this is the perfect way to finally let go.
Author Lilmissohdear Posted September 25, 2011 Author Posted September 25, 2011 Thanks guys. It took me a while but I went NC 6 days ago. I've started up a coping thread as I've really started to struggle with it today. ConfusedT You're right. I think the problem is I know I should get him out of my life I suppose it just takes time. I miss him. Thanks again
TheDovic Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 I'd let myself be angry! You're grieving and this is one of the stages. If you ever want to get over this guy (maybe you don't - BUT I'm sure you don't want to be miserable forever) then you've got to let these emotions leave you naturally. Plus, being angry is sooooo much better than being depressed
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