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Texting him too soon. Does he respect me less?


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Posted

Let's say you went on a date with a guy. 3.5 days (weekdays) go by and you haven't heard anything from him other than a "Thanks for joining me. I had a great time" text right after the date.

 

Against better judgement you text him to see if he wants to go out for drinks. Immediately you regret it but it's too late.

 

 

He accepted but I fear that the "texting too soon" thing might have blown it? Can I do damage control??

Posted

ONE text over 3.5 days is TOO MUCH? :confused:

 

If that is the case, he is not interested.

Posted

At this point, there's nothing you could and should do anyway. "Damage control" would only make an issue out of nothing. Chill out! He said yes.

Posted

You're fine. In fact, if I am "on the fence" with a girl, a text like that a few days later might push me over to her side, because we do appreciate a girl who takes *some* initiative. I wouldn't hold one text like that against her, that's for sure.

 

Enjoy the date...

Posted

You can't undo it, but don't do it again. Let him be the one to contact you next time. As far as damage control, don't start explaining or apologizing, or acting overly interested for the stage of dating you are in at the moment. Just enjoy the date, and don't make suggestions about future dates. If he is interested, he will contact you, or will let you know that he would like to see you again.

Posted

Sending a text after 3.5 days is too soon and needs damage control?

 

Seriously?

Posted

maybe if you respected you more you wouldn't have time for misplaced worry about what he thinks.

Posted

I don't get this whole line of thinking. Trying to manage someone's perceptions about how long you waited or didn't wait before contacting after a date is ridiculous. It's irrelevant. If there is mutual interest, it doesn't matter if you waited 2 days, or 3.14 days.

 

Seriously, does anybody have a story like this?: I met this really great person the other day, and I really thought there was potential, but the person contacted me just 1.75 days after our first date! Too needy! I'm cutting off contact!

Posted

3.5 days is too soon? I don't really get that. There's no standard amount of texting or conversing; some people would like less, some would like more.

 

I think you're worrying and obsessing over your decisions too much, perhaps putting this guy on too high a pedestal, and it's the worrying and obsessing that are going to end up hurting you.

Posted

I am glad I did the vast majority of my dating prior to the advent of cell phones and texting...

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