rollingstone Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 I'm about to give up on this kid... Here's a recap. I have a neighbor. We've been acquaintances for 2 months. Last couple of encounters have seemed quite flirtatious. We are both sarcastic and always poke fun at each other - in a cute way. I kept thinking he might ask me out but he is so freaking aloof. FRIDAY - DAY TIME We run into each other at our apt complex. I mention that I'll be at a certain bar that night with friends. He indicates that he's not a fan of that bar but he might be out in that area as well. I casually tell him to drop by if he's around - not even thinking that he would actually come. FRIDAY - NIGHT TIME At bar with friends. In one of the back rooms so it was sort of hard to find us. I look up and see him searching through the crowd. I stand up, wave, and he comes over. He says that he and his friend have been there for a bit, but that his friend wanted to head out to meet up with another group of friends. He invites me to come with. I politefully decline and tell him that I had already made plans to stay with my friends. He gets my number... FRIDAY - LATE NIGHT He texts me a few times throughout the night, mostly telling me about some of the funny things he was witnessing. Around 2AM he invites me to go to a concert the following night. I accept. SATURDAY He picks me up for concert. Originally thought it was a friend thing because I figured others were going, but turns out he only had 2 tickets. He paid for everything and it sort of felt like a date, however he did not make a move. When we got back we decided we'd go out to bars afterwards, so he dropped me off at my place so I could freshen up and planned to pick me up in 20 minutes. When he called it was already past 1AM, both of us were tired from a 5 hour concert and had to be somewhere the next morning, so we decided that it might be smart of us not to go out drinking. He thanks me for coming and says he had a great time. I reciprocate and we say goodnight. SUNDAY No call. No text. MONDAY No call. No text. F***. Time to write him off, I guess. MONDAY EVENING We run into each other. I am SO awkward. Don't know whether to be annoyed because I don't even know if Saturday night was a real date. Out of no where he says something like, "yeah Sunday I was totally consumed by football" ...almost like it was some type of excuse for not calling....But he doesn't follow up with a request to hang out, so I quickly make my exit out of the conversation. Feeling bad, I text him and invite him to come for a drink by the pool later. He says yes. I was already planning to meet another friend there but I later realized that the text indicated that it would just be me...oops. MONDAY EVENING (LATER) He shows up with a couple drinks. He talks to me and my friend for about 45 minutes. Throughout the conversation he throws a few inside jokes at me and smiles, but that's about it. We all get up to leave...my friend walks the opposite way to her place. He and I walk briefly before we go our own way. The goodbye was basically "Thanks for inviting me out." "Thanks for coming!" and "Have a good night!" Ugh. And here I am now. Totally confused. He's been planning a big 3 week European trip, which he leaves for this Thursday. At this point I'm almost glad that he's leaving because the whole situation annoys me. What are your thoughts? Is there any explanation for all this or should I be writing this kid off?
SoccerPlaya Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 Hmmmmm. sounds like it could be too soon to make any conclusions. wait and see?
SoccerPlaya Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 I have another thought: Maybe he is trying to feel you out? Some guys are very particular about what girls they date so they're not going to just jump in full force until they really know. The fact that you guys are neighbors is yet another reason to be cautious. What's that saying? Don't s#@! where you eat?
Author rollingstone Posted September 13, 2011 Author Posted September 13, 2011 Are there really those guys out there who take their time when they are interested in someone, rather than pursuing them very aggressively right off the bat? I wish I knew when do actually give up on a guy. I'd be nice to just "let things happen" and not worry but my mind doesn't work like that
SincereOnlineGuy Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 Somebody should politely boot you in the butt... just to hurry you along. Invite him to an activity where it will be just the two of you... go on... take your chances... just do it... stop resisting. Most of the vibes you indicate show his interest in you. Whyyyyyyyyyyyy would he go to a certain bar of which he isn't very fond... and bring a friend (male, we expect)... were it not for YOUr being there? (sigh) Are you one of those who is disappointed both with a guy makes a move and when a guy doesn't make a move?? He invited you out once, paid for everything, and the evening ended in such an inconvenient way that you didn't truly get a chance to judge his 'not making a move'. MAYBE HE THOUGHT that you had talked your way out of the rest of the plotted night, and was hesitant based on that? At some point YOU need to make your own feelings CLEAR to him.
Author rollingstone Posted September 14, 2011 Author Posted September 14, 2011 SincereOnlineGuy I get what you're saying, but I was very into him on Saturday night....smiles, eye contact, hair twist...all the good stuff. We ran into each other tonight, and we chatted for quite a long time...and you know what? I am beginning to realize that he enjoys acting this way - Mr. aloof aka Hard To Get. This guy doesn't lack confidence, in fact he has plenty of that...he lacks effort. I've decided that this is the perfect time to put the idea of him on the shelf and stop trying to make this into something, especially if he is going to play this card.
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