kc75 Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 (edited) I really need some advice on this situation. I know that most of you will say “just move on”. As we all know at times that is easier said than done when you have a complete mind body and soul connection. We were together on/off for 2.5 years. A very deep connection for both of us but we both have issues that impeded our relationship and resulted in many arguments. Her father passed away last year which exacerbated her pushing me away and she broke up with me in June 2011. I tried for a while to get her back, she felt harassed and cut off ties completely. A week ago I had noticed increased activity on my blog and it was her that was checking it. I only started a blog 3 weeks ago and my ex didn’t know about it. She Googled me and found it. The blog talked about her (not in a nasty way) but from my description of her she and others would have known it was about her. I also expressed in the blog my own growth and development and how much I still love her. I have since removed my blog. She said at first she felt hurt by what I had written and that it was personal but then said I wrote beautifully and it was touching. I saw her on Sunday and we agreed to talk. I talked at her house for 5 hours. We talked about what was happening in our lives, how we are both not looking for anyone at the moment, we both became emotional about missing each other and about how it was the “best of times and the worst of times”. Each time I was going to leave she kept on talking and we had some dinner together. When I was about to leave she held me for a very long time and gave me a lingering kiss on the lips twice. We both expressed “I love you’s”. I wished her well and said (half jokingly) that perhaps in 2 years we could start again. She jokingly said “sure”. I feel we really both need to work on ourselves at this point in time. She said it was really nice to see me, talked about how good I looked throughout the 5 hours. There was no talk of seeing each other or talking in the future at this point in time. It was her birthday today and I had no intention of sending her any wishes however, given our interaction on Sunday I thought that I would. I sent her an email wishing her a happy birthday and hoping that she has a lovely day......I knew there would be anxiety around me sending this........She didn’t send any email back to say than you – nothing! Now I know I shouldn’t be disappointed by this but it just seems that we had such a lovely talk on Sunday and then I go back to her not engaging with me again. I didn’t intend to start having any type of contact but a thank you would have been nice. She is 43 and I am 36, both female. I love this woman more than I have ever loved anyone and I am sincerely hoping that we can reconcile in the future once we can sort out our own issues. I know that there is still a very deep attraction, love and admiration for one another. I am finding it extremely hard to let go at this point though and continue to develop without being preoccupied with her being with someone else, falling out of love with me, not wanting me in the future. I know that if you love someone you set them free and I am trying so hard to do that. I would appreciate people’s thoughts on how long I should wait before contacting her again (she handles rejection badly and even though I am the dumpee she will not come to me), whether this is worth it and how to let go. Edited September 13, 2011 by kc75
Besmy Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 You said your relationship has been on-off, maybe this is just another stage of this on-off? You should go NC if you are the dumpee. When you say: she handles rejection badly and even though I am the dumpee she will not come to me to me it sounds like SHE doesn't want to be rejected but SHE thinks that it is OK to reject you. Not nice eh! Also, if she is not interested in coming back to you well then too bad for her. You sound like a sweet sensible girl, sure you can find someone else to love as much, yes it will take time, most of us on this blog are going through that ourselves! A big hug
Author kc75 Posted September 14, 2011 Author Posted September 14, 2011 (edited) Well, she did reply to my email: "Thank you for you birthday wishes. I am happy that you are doing well and in awe of your commitment to develop yourself further. It was lovely talking with you on Sunday. I sincerely wish you the best of everything" Any thoughts? Edited September 14, 2011 by kc75
Besmy Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 I find her reply polite...very polite but distanced, something that you could write to an acquaintance, not necessarily to a lover. I don't see any hint of getting back together, but then I don't know her and I don't know her "style".
Author kc75 Posted September 14, 2011 Author Posted September 14, 2011 Oh....really? We both expressed that we still loved each other, weren;t interested in looking for someone else, she kissed me twice, continued to talked about my looks and was touching me and evrytime I tried to leave she ekpt on talking and wanted me to stay. We both are aware that right now a reconciliation is not possible because we have to work on ourselves but surely there may be some hope for the future?? I know we both have very strong and intense feelings for one another.
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