jackblanca Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 (edited) Hey, I'm Jack and I would like some wise advice or insight. I feel for a girl who is so messed up in the head I don't know where to start. I was best friends with her while she dated a guy for 3 years. I told her that I have feelings for her and said we couldn't be friends anymore. So after a few months, she broke up with him and told me that it was all because of her feelings for me. So we hang out and I can tell that we have developed a very strong connection. Things look really good, and it seems to me like she is the one. But I cannot get barely any information on her feelings out of her.. I then told her once again, I can't continue this until you open up and tell me what your thinking. She refuses saying "I don't know how too." We didn't talk for over two months. She contacts me saying that she felt "so exposed when I spent time with you," and thats why she pulled away. She told me that no one has ever effected her as much as I have. This is all good news to me, BUT she will NOT see me in person. When I called her to ask if we can meet up, she said I don't know.. (This is a common response from her.) I kept asking why because I can't stand not seeing her, and I don't understand why she doesn't want to see me. She almost went into a panic attack saying "I can't, I can't, I can't." She also said she is scared to see me because of her feelings for me. She seems to prefer communicating only over cell phones. I'm not sure what to do in this situation.. (By the way, Were both 21 years old and we have dated for about a month and broke up because of the military. 3 years ago!) Edited September 13, 2011 by jackblanca
insaneinthebrain Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 hmmm... okay .. your young... .... So ... i dont want to burst your bubble.... but someone has to... Heck , i am sure you probably wont even listen to me.... because you will think that i am so off base and that i dont know what i am talking about ..because i dont know her like you know her and this and that... But..... i fear that your ship may have sailed off with out you ... In other words.... she just isnt that into you .... worst case, she is already with someone else...and basically just doesnt want to deal with you.. is hoping that you just go away.... here is the test. dont call her.... see how many times she will make an effort to reach out to you ........ I am sure that this number will be close to a big fat 0 .... in not 0 ... im sorry, but there is no reason why if she even cared about you a little for her to not want to see you ....... your trying to rationalize the situation in a way that makes you think she feels the same thing you do for her.... but like i said.. i am proably writing all of this in vain..... cause you wont listen..... and you know how i know that.... CAUSE IVE BEEN THERE ..... Good look jack...
smudge21 Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 Yeah, kinda' agree with insaneinthebrain on this one but there is also a small chance she could have issues that just simply prevent her opening up and causing panic attacks. Basically, you don't know what the real reason is, and for that I think you do need to give her some distance and see if she comes calling. If she does, then make it clear you need to talk about this otherwise the relationship has little to no chance of survival. Sadly if there are problems there you may find yourself beating your head against a wall trying to help her when in reality only she can help herself, and she'll only do that when she's ready.
carhill Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 Yet she seemed to have managed to 'date' another man for three years while enjoying your 'best friendship', OP. I'll opine Hoover. Damaged people often are. If my data points are any guide, they're often Hoovers for life. They suck others dry and then move on. Welcome to LS
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