M2155 Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 (edited) Well, nothing interesting here but today is my ex's birthday. We last parted with him saying we would always be friends but of course we are a loooonnggg way from being friends since I'm in NC. I still very much have feelings for him and go back and forth between anger, missing him, feeling like I'll never find anyone, wanting him back, thinking he wasn't good enough anyway, excited about the future, back to missing him. I actually have zero desire to be real friends right now anyway so I'm mad we did leave on that note. I feel "if we can't be lovers, then we can't be friends" kinda way as my intentions would not be pure. But it is kinda a bummer not to say happy birthday. I don't want him to think I HATE him or anything like that because under a whole lot of circumstances, there's still a part of me that would welcome the possiblity to reconcile (unlikely to happen but the flame still burns. Anyway, I'll take the advice I give to others and not say happy birthday. I'm sure he won't be sitting around waiting to hear from me since he's happily with his girlfriend. It's just sucks:( So I'll say happy birthday to you (I'm sure it's someone's birthday). Edited September 12, 2011 by M2155 1
insaneinthebrain Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 my advice... send a post card....!! .. it says .. .."at least i remembered" ....
windmask Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 hey i know what u mean it was my ex gf's birthday last month as well and i kept asking people if i should wish her that day. everyone told me to do it. but i was like she took my life and turned it into a nightmare and she was my best friend as well as my gf and if a best friend could do that why should i care. i think it depends on how things ended between u guys mine ended badly so i was like i love her but shes fought so hard to leave and tried so hard to break my heart she can go but i dont owe her anything. i love her still and the only thing i did was pray that what ever she does or whoever shes with i hope shes happy. she can think am a bad person for not wishing her but she broke up with me on my birthday so why should i bother. u can send her an email but in doing so ur going to want a response back and if she does it might pull u back in her web. i say if she broke up with u then forget it. however if she remembered ur bday then maybe just write the shortest email to her thats only if she wished u happy bday though. rest is ur call good luck:rolleyes:
stillhurt Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 Well, the ex's b-day is what set me off to breaking NC and my advice to you is that if you can refrain, then don't do it. It made me sad on his b-day because all the memories of his past b-days came up. But, all this just made me do something stupid. Breaking NC! It got me nowhere. So, I am left with being back to square one after keeping up with NC for almost 3 months. So, don't do it! I have to start counting again today.
Dark Phoenix Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 So I'll say happy birthday to you (I'm sure it's someone's birthday). My birthday tomorrow, Thank you M2155.
Author M2155 Posted September 13, 2011 Author Posted September 13, 2011 My birthday tomorrow, Thank you M2155. Lol! You're welcome Dark Phoenix:D I feel better now! No, I really don't want to break NC and I probably would keep wondering if I would get a response. My birthday isn't for a few months so I can't say what he would do. But hey, in the off chance he said "hey, you forgot my birthday" at least I know he was expecting it! Now in the Facebook era though people get hundreds of happy birthdays so he won't miss mine.
TheDovic Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 Wat about a Facebook happy birthday??? Everyone kinda does it anyway so it looks normal but mite get him thinking
Author M2155 Posted September 13, 2011 Author Posted September 13, 2011 Wat about a Facebook happy birthday??? Everyone kinda does it anyway so it looks normal but mite get him thinking Well I don't want to break my streak of not looking at his Facebook page and I don't want to get lumped in with the other hundreds of happy birthdays. I know his ego looooves that anyway. I read somewhere to text or whatever the day after his birthday so it get's noticed and kinda like "oh yeah, I almost forgot your birthday cause I'm not thinking about you." I like that idea too but maybe I'm just better being a ghost this time around. He doesn't need to know I really think about him:(. He has a girlfriend, I have memories.
Dark Phoenix Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 Silence is your best play. If he is wondering why you didn't wish him a happy birthday and you do so the day after, it kind of relieves all of that curiosity it sparked. If he isn't wondering why you never wished him a happy birthday, the next day he'll probably think "wtf?". And in either case, if you don't initiate that happy birthday message he will either hold onto that curiosity, or at least he won't be thinking "wtf?".
Besmy Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 I wouldn't send any happy-birthday anything to my ex. Even less if he has got a new girlfriend! If you had and say he had answered your txt with "thanks", so what? You would have started thinking that he cares etc etc. Yes the best way forward is NC. I bet he will not send you any txt on your birthday. Let us know! A hug
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