truckergirl Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 Can someone please tell me why a 43 year old DM would walk away from a 47 yr old SepW whom they had just about everything in common with that left everything behind to be with them, to go back to a dead end affair with a MW whom has been promising them they would leave their husband for 3 years? I'm just totally confused. We had everything going for us. Lot's of laughter, communication, compatibility, companionship. He was planning our future one day and the next day he say's he talked to his ex and he "didn't know what he wanted now". I mean please, he knew what he wanted...it wasn't security I suppose. Why would anyone want to live like that? Any input? Yes, I'm having a hard time dealing with this. He made me unexplicably happy. I felt very comfortable and secure with him. Yet I have no respect for him as to what he's doing in his old/new/old relationship with the MW~
Besmy Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 I don't know all the details but every time I read that someone went back to his/her ex it seem clear to me that they were not over their ex and deep, deep inside their hearts they wanted to get back with them. I understand you may feel that everything was fine between you but, as somebody said, if it had been all fine, it wouldn't have ended. I think when men say they don't know what they want it's their nice way to say they do not want what they currently have. I send you a big hug.
Author truckergirl Posted September 12, 2011 Author Posted September 12, 2011 t'is true yet I guess I can't comprehend why someone would want to wait for someone who, if in 3 years they haven't left their spouse they probably won't, instead of being with someone who DID give up everything (only because my marriage was over 6 years ago when my husband had an affair and a child). We have known each other since 2003...although we were both married to other people at the time...we were simply friends back then...im irritated!
wilsonx Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 Stay away from relationship jumpers... That's the key here... People that jump relationships never know what they want because they never have time on their own to figure it out
geegirl Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 Can someone please tell me why a 43 year old DM would walk away from a 47 yr old SepW whom they had just about everything in common with that left everything behind to be with them, to go back to a dead end affair with a MW whom has been promising them they would leave their husband for 3 years? I'm just totally confused. We had everything going for us. Lot's of laughter, communication, compatibility, companionship. He was planning our future one day and the next day he say's he talked to his ex and he "didn't know what he wanted now". I mean please, he knew what he wanted...it wasn't security I suppose. Why would anyone want to live like that? Any input? Yes, I'm having a hard time dealing with this. He made me unexplicably happy. I felt very comfortable and secure with him. Yet I have no respect for him as to what he's doing in his old/new/old relationship with the MW~ You're basing the R and the potential of it on how you feel and view things. This man on the other hand, probably believes in the potential of what he has with this other woman. You can't control what he feels and what he wants. It may have been the perfect and ideal partnership in your eyes, but it wasn't in his or he may just have underlying commitment issues that make him want to attach to situations that don't require him to commit, especially when he gets to a level of having to make that ultimate commitment. Granted his choice is very risky and will probably never garner him the life he wants, but that's his choice. Can I ask if you were involved with him while you were married?
Besmy Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 He must think that this person is very special and worth being with even if she will not leave her current partner. Maybe he also took you for granted? Anyway, I suggest you go No Contact. Wait and see...although, as I wrote in my thread today, would you really have somebody who dumped you back?????
Author truckergirl Posted September 12, 2011 Author Posted September 12, 2011 He introduced me to his family, his children, made arrangement for me to park my truck (i'm an owner operator truck driver as is he) where he parks his, arranged for a mechanic for me. He didn't introduce his children to the OMW for 2 years. Everything is on her terms (of course it is, she's married), his family his friends his children...all love me and berate him for being so dumb. I don't know if it's a good idea, but I love his brother and his brother's fiancee' and I will remain friends with them regardless of him being a total and complete game playing a**!
Author truckergirl Posted September 12, 2011 Author Posted September 12, 2011 He must think that this person is very special and worth being with even if she will not leave her current partner. Maybe he also took you for granted? Anyway, I suggest you go No Contact. Wait and see...although, as I wrote in my thread today, would you really have somebody who dumped you back????? As of Saturday, I told him i will no longer contact him (even though he has some of my mom's furniture at his place which he told me to leave there because he know's i have no place for it, which is strange to me) Two days ago yes I would have taken him back, today......nah! I don't think so!
Author truckergirl Posted September 12, 2011 Author Posted September 12, 2011 You're basing the R and the potential of it on how you feel and view things. This man on the other hand, probably believes in the potential of what he has with this other woman. You can't control what he feels and what he wants. It may have been the perfect and ideal partnership in your eyes, but it wasn't in his or he may just have underlying commitment issues that make him want to attach to situations that don't require him to commit, especially when he gets to a level of having to make that ultimate commitment. Granted his choice is very risky and will probably never garner him the life he wants, but that's his choice. Can I ask if you were involved with him while you were married? Only to the extent of talking on the phone about his loads and where he's going. (we both are owner operator truck drivers) We decided to get to know each other on a more personal level once I left my husband~
geegirl Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 I asked only because I knew of someone who dated a man that only got involved in Rs that had no possibility of fulltime commitment so he only got involved with women who were married or separated. This was ideal because if didn't require or put any commitment pressures on him.
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