Jonnyy Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 What are the differences between the two? How do you know which one you are currently feeling about someone?
Pasttense Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 I think of infatuation as temporary and love as long term. And only the passage of time will really distinguish the two. This is why you shouldn't rush into moving in together, getting married, having a kid...
Author Jonnyy Posted September 12, 2011 Author Posted September 12, 2011 I think of infatuation as temporary and love as long term. And only the passage of time will really distinguish the two. This is why you shouldn't rush into moving in together, getting married, having a kid... I would agree. I feel that rushing is a key sign to an infatuation relationship. Would anyone know, or would like to take a guess, at how long the average infatuation period really lasts?
denise_xo Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 I would agree. I feel that rushing is a key sign to an infatuation relationship. Would anyone know, or would like to take a guess, at how long the average infatuation period really lasts? I would say up to a year or so.
LittleTiger Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 Infatuation is a feeling that's based on a fantasy. The 'beloved' is an idealised creation in your own mind projected onto a real person who you probably know very little about. When you get to know that real person and you accept them, like them, respect them and admire them for who they really are, their individual likes and dislikes, their values and beliefs, their principles, their dreams, their goals, their faults and imperfections......when you know them inside out, warts and all, and you still think they're incredibly special, that's when you can describe your feelings for them as 'love'. I don't believe infatuation has a time limit. In my 20s, I was infatuated with a man for almost six years - and I didn't even like him!!!
Author Jonnyy Posted September 12, 2011 Author Posted September 12, 2011 Infatuation is a feeling that's based on a fantasy. The 'beloved' is an idealised creation in your own mind projected onto a real person who you probably know very little about. When you get to know that real person and you accept them, like them, respect them and admire them for who they really are, their individual likes and dislikes, their values and beliefs, their principles, their dreams, their goals, their faults and imperfections......when you know them inside out, warts and all, and you still think they're incredibly special, that's when you can describe your feelings for them as 'love'. I don't believe infatuation has a time limit. In my 20s, I was infatuated with a man for almost six years - and I didn't even like him!!! If you did not like him what caused you to stay with him? What was the thing about him that made you want him still?
snug.bunny Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 Infatuation = butterflies in your tummy, nervousness Love = a warm feeling in your heart...
LittleTiger Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 If you did not like him what caused you to stay with him? What was the thing about him that made you want him still? Sexual attraction! If I met him tomorrow (17 years since I ended it) I would still go weak at the knees. It wasn't love and I knew it wasn't love but I still yearned for him with every bone in my body. When I say I 'didn't like him' I mean who he was inside. We were incompatible as people, had nothing in common and had massively different values. Despite the fact that we had a lot of fun together and enjoyed each other's company, I never intended or even wanted it to last forever because we were so completely 'wrong' for each other on almost every level. I was addicted to him (infatuated) - that's why it took me six years to break away - ironically it was his marriage proposal that finally made me see the light!
Carlos S Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 Sexual attraction! If I met him tomorrow (17 years since I ended it) I would still go weak at the knees. It wasn't love and I knew it wasn't love but I still yearned for him with every bone in my body. When I say I 'didn't like him' I mean who he was inside. We were incompatible as people, had nothing in common and had massively different values. Despite the fact that we had a lot of fun together and enjoyed each other's company, I never intended or even wanted it to last forever because we were so completely 'wrong' for each other on almost every level. I was addicted to him (infatuated) - that's why it took me six years to break away - ironically it was his marriage proposal that finally made me see the light! Wow. Do you regret the years you spent together?
GaHeartbroken Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 Infatuation "chemistry", which is really just a chemical reaction in your brain, a fantasy you've made up really - even though it wears off at different times for various people; real enduring-committed love is a choice you make and stick to it - based on the same goals and friendship - no matter what the circumstances (of course, not for abuse or cheating) it just is not "Holly-wood" enough it seems, people almost always seem to want that infatuation now a days.
snug.bunny Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 Infatuation "chemistry", which is really just a chemical reaction in your brain, a fantasy you've made up really - even though it wears off at different times for various people; real enduring-committed love is a choice you make and stick to it - based on the same goals and friendship - no matter what the circumstances (of course, not for abuse or cheating) it just is not "Holly-wood" enough it seems, people almost always seem to want that infatuation now a days. Scientists state that love is a chemical reaction too, different hormones are produced with different outcomes that react differently depending on different variables.
LittleTiger Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 Wow. Do you regret the years you spent together? Absolutely not! I enjoyed the relationship for what it was and, at the time, it was what I wanted. We didn't live together, he was just one part of the very busy life I led back then, and a part that I really enjoyed - until I grew up and wanted more. I learned a lot from that period of my life - about myself, about men, about relationships - and, if you've ever been infatuated with someone, you'll know that it's a pretty exciting place to be! Nobody should ever regret a past relationship, experience is how we learn. If you can learn something from every relationship you have (romantic or otherwise), you'll soon get to understand the difference between lust, infatuation and love (in all it's many wonderful forms).
GaHeartbroken Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 Scientists state that love is a chemical reaction too, different hormones are produced with different outcomes that react differently depending on different variables. Maybe an "in-love" feeling is that way, which is really just a more advanced form of infatuation. I believe that real love is a choice, you choose to endure and commit yourself to helpfully caring for a person. Lasting love has to do with friendship and commitment. Yes, there may be infatuation and "in-love" feelings, especially at the beginning of the relationship, but that can fluctuate up and down over a lifetime. When I see couples that are still in love after being together for 50-plus years, it is mostly a deep and committed friendship.
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