petal28 Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 Well i think it is a good way and it has been working for me. I was in a r'ship that ended (after about 3 months) and have had trouble moving on. The guy that i was with was really lovely and but did display behaviour that sent up quite a few red flags (eg. ignoring me to punish me, calling me names jokingly even though the names hurt, talking to me rudely because he was angry at me, telling me how nice looking the women he worked with were). Anyway, being the person that i am, i accepted his behaviour even though i struggled a bit with the red flags i.e. i put up with his $hitty behaviour. Just recently i switched my line of thinking and i thought to myself, "how would i feel if my father behaved this way towards my mother?" That is, if my father treated my mother the way this ex treated me, would i be willing to put up with it. When i thought of my ex in this way, i got very angry at myself for putting up with his crap. I guess this method is about taking an objective view when you're are so clouded in love and know that you are not being treated as you should be. What does everyone else think?
Besmy Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 Well Petal, he doesn't sound like the most fantastic guy on earth, eh! It's definitely up to you to establish from the start what behaviour you will / will not tolerate in a relationship. Respect shall always come first. As for getting over your ex, well being objective is certainly very important. When we are in love we tend to idealise our partner and overlook his / her faults. It's only right that you put him in the right perspective now. You deserve better.
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