liminal Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 Does being "exclusive" mean your in a committed relationship?
oldguy Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 Umm, I might be a little old fashion but I would think so, yes.
Author liminal Posted September 12, 2011 Author Posted September 12, 2011 Umm, I might be a little old fashion but I would think so, yes. Old fashion? I would think that being exclusive would be the most liberal way of regarding commitment. That would mean that a fling was a committed relationship because it was exclusive.
oldguy Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 By definition a fling is not part of a committed relationship & not even necessarily exclusive. Where exclusivity would suggest a commitment.
coolheadal Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 Does being "exclusive" mean your in a committed relationship? Yes! If you had said non-exclusive then your wide open in your relationship. Same as if you were in a contract deal.
Author liminal Posted September 12, 2011 Author Posted September 12, 2011 The majority of flings are exclusive aren't they? And if they are exclusive then you can't say that exclusive means committed without also saying that a fling is committed.
oldguy Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 Here is what I said; By definition a fling is not part of a committed relationship & not even necessarily exclusive. Where exclusivity would suggest a commitment. This is what you said; The majority of flings are exclusive aren't they? And if they are exclusive then you can't say that exclusive means committed without also saying that a fling is committed. By there nature I don't believe flings are exclusive
oaks Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 Does being "exclusive" mean your in a committed relationship? It sounds like it means that you're making a commitment to exclusively date that person. So, yes. Why are you asking?
betterdeal Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 In most cases, the two go hand in hand, yes. An exception being, well, you only have sex with one person, but you do nothing substantial together like share bills, socialise, provide emotional support. F*ck buddies or play-mates can be exclusive but not committed, for instance.
Cee Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 I'm with old guy on this. Flings aren't exclusive. It's possible they aren't sleeping with other people, but that's not exclusivity. If you were to ask them if they were open to meeting other people, they'd probably say yes.
betterdeal Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 I'm with old guy on this. Exclusively?
Author liminal Posted September 12, 2011 Author Posted September 12, 2011 Well what if you are dating and it's the early phases of the relationship and you want to sleep with each other but you don't want your partner sleeping with other people when you are sleeping with each other. You are okay with the person dating other people but only if that person tells you that they are doing so. Is that "exclusive"? Is that committed?
betterdeal Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 Does it matter what you call it? Just find what works for you and do that. A rose by any other name would smell just as sweet...
ScienceGal Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 Exclusively? ^^hehe. But yes, one definition of being exclusive is "excluding others from participation". What would be the point of being committed if you or they are dating other people... why would you have a defined relationship at all? If you aren't sure, ask the other person involved.
Author liminal Posted September 12, 2011 Author Posted September 12, 2011 ^^hehe. But yes, one definition of being exclusive is "excluding others from participation". What would be the point of being committed if you or they are dating other people... why would you have a defined relationship at all? If you aren't sure, ask the other person involved. I understand that "committed" implies exclusivity. I was asking if "exclusivity" implies commitment. Everyone here thinks that exclusivity implies by definition commitment. So how are people defining commitment then? Commitment to me is saying that you desire to be with somebody for the long haul. Yet I guess most people only see commitment as a promise not to have sex with other people? So I guess my definition of commitment is wrong?
oaks Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 So I guess my definition of commitment is wrong? Questions in a vacuum... What's the context?
Author liminal Posted September 12, 2011 Author Posted September 12, 2011 Questions in a vacuum... What's the context? The beginning stages of a relationship. Hmmmm. The question is meant to help me envision the steps that are involved in the complex and variegated world of dating. Knowing the vocabulary helps me put things into their proper context. For example, some women (probably kind of scary women) demand that a guy is exclusive with them from the first date to give them out for a try before they move on to the next. Obviously in that context then the word exclusive cant possibly mean committed can it? Or maybe i am wrong and it does mean committed. And in all frankness one of my motivations for this question is to determine if exclusivity might be a period where a burgeoning couple can try each other out sexually without necessarily an obligation/expectation/implied contract etc that the romantic attachment will be sustained for a longer period than is desired by both parties.
LoveandSuch Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 Words are just words....mean zero! Committed, exclusive...it is actions not labels that non verbally define a relationship....people are binded by marriage, with is the ultimate committment, but cheat! 1
Author liminal Posted September 12, 2011 Author Posted September 12, 2011 Words are just words....mean zero! Committed, exclusive...it is actions not labels that non verbally define a relationship....people are binded by marriage, with is the ultimate committment, but cheat! But how does that apply to the questions I am asking?
grkBoy Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 Does being "exclusive" mean your in a committed relationship? In my eyes, yes. 1
carhill Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 I could be dating someone exclusively (my style) but not be in a 'committed relationship' which to me is being known publicly as boyfriend/girlfriend and having sexual relations. The underscores the words being defined by the parties in question. Each of us is different. Communication is paramount. Good luck.
ScienceGal Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 I'm with carhill on this one. I am exclusively dating someone right now, but I am not committed to them. Perhaps exclusivity is the first step towards commitment. You should worry less about labels and more about being treated properly and ensuring that you are getting what you're looking for. Good luck.
oaks Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 And in all frankness one of my motivations for this question is to determine if exclusivity might be a period where a burgeoning couple can try each other out sexually without necessarily an obligation/expectation/implied contract etc that the romantic attachment will be sustained for a longer period than is desired by both parties. So it's just hypothetical? Or is there an actual person involved? What really matters is what you and your partner think/feel/say/do, not what we tell you or what the dictionary says about some words or phrases that can be interpreted differently.
Author liminal Posted September 12, 2011 Author Posted September 12, 2011 So it's just hypothetical? Or is there an actual person involved? What really matters is what you and your partner think/feel/say/do, not what we tell you or what the dictionary says about some words or phrases that can be interpreted differently. It's hypothetical. But what I am asking is. Is it normal? Is it the way things are often done? Using exclusivity as a testing ground without expectations?
betterdeal Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 ^^hehe. But yes, one definition of being exclusive is "excluding others from participation". What would be the point of being committed if you or they are dating other people... why would you have a defined relationship at all? If you aren't sure, ask the other person involved. Because you like having sex with different people and you like sharing a home, childcare, costs, emotional well-being with each other? It's hardly a revelation that people fancy having sex with others and at the same time enjoy having a family life. Let's say, for instance, your other half was in the military and sent on a 6-month tour of a war-zone. He might, say, have sex with prostitutes there and you might be having one-night stands in a different town once a month. Neither of you needs to know about it and neither is committing to anything other than recreational sex whilst apart. Or you might be swingers. Or one of you might lose interest in sex altogether. Or you might prefer being a cuckold. There's myriad reasons why some people choose arrangements that differ from the all or nothing position. Generally, most people, do aim for a monogamous, committed relationship. But then also generally, most people, aim for a heterosexual, monogamous, relationship. Doesn't mean it's the only one that works.
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