Taylor1974 Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 It's been awhile since I was last on here. I could use some advice. Long story short I met a man, divorced for a year, while I was in the process of divorcing. My marriage has been over for years. We fell for each other fast and hard. There was a lot of passion early on. In the back of my mind... I saw the red flags. He talked about his ex a lot but very nasty. She had cheated. About 3 months into us dating ... He started to pull away. I called him out on it and he felt like I was pushing for more from him... He didn't think he was ready. I told him that wasn't the case... Was just having fun and things went back to normal. About two weeks later, he comes to see me, he seemed odd. He seemed unconnected and when we were making love he couldn't maintain his erection. He freaked out... I didn't care. I calmed him down. He spoke a lot that evening. He told me how great it was seeing me, etc. Next thing I know his mom is in the hospital.. We spoke a lot that evening. Next day nothing. Day after... He ends it. He isn't ready. Im the first woman he's thought about being in a relationship with etc. He's having a hard time moving on and gets depressed. All of this I get. At first I didn't but this is where I'm totally confused. He said to me that he needed time and wants to see me again in the future. He then stopped all communication with me. 3 weeks later I send him an email and he responds saying he has missed me but was trying to be up front with me and apologized. I must have read into that something other than what he meant and wrote back to him a couple of times. No response. I told him we could be friends and sent him a friends request on facebook. Didn't accept or reject. It's like he dropped off the face of the earth. I've read a lot about divorced men and most want to be friends and continue to see the woman if only for sex. My guy won't talk to me at all. Im confused... He either is not into me, or is but feels insecure about sex now and doesn't want to lead me on or is just depressed. Any insight would be helpful. Thanks.
Dark Phoenix Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 I think you are looking to far into this. You saw the red flags and he ended your relationship. He is doing NC to the extreme. I know it's hard but the best course of action would be to go NC, stop trying to contact him, and move on. eventually you will find someone who will stick with you no matter what.
Leigh 87 Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 I am probably being a little ignorant here, andw ithout having read all your post.. I still think this: if he wants you that badly, he will come back to you. YOur best bet, is to better yourself, go on with your life, and get over him. wait until he contacts you. If he does, it means he does want you, and it could be great if it works out. However, if he never talked to you again, you will be getting on with your life. Sure, you will wonder about him a lot, but eventually, the longer you go NO CONTACT, the less u will think of weather he wants you back ever. Just get on with your life and start the process of getting over him; act as if you will NOT be getting back together... That way, if he does contact you again, it will be a pleasant surprise, rather than a thing that is constantly on your mind. Of course, you know all this, but u two obviously had something special that none of us here on LS know about; therefore, you are obviously going to hold out hope, given your history. The thing is, no matter how passionate or wonderful your relationship was, he does not want to be with you right now; accept it and move on....
Author Taylor1974 Posted September 12, 2011 Author Posted September 12, 2011 Thanks guys. He told me immediately following the break he goes through periods of time since his divorce where he can't talk to anyone. He knows he should see dr. But he thinks he can help himself. And he doesn't want to lead me on because he doesn't know what he wants or will want. I just find his behavior odd. I would much rather him tell me he has no interest in me. I'm moving on. It's been two months since the break and one since his email. Thanks again.
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