9Lives Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 Men tell me ALL THE TIME that they think I am so sexy. They also think I am pretty, with a pretty smile, sexy body, pretty hair, and pretty toes. Im not bragging right now. I am telling you the feedback I get most of the time. I know they are trying to compliment me but does it take away from you wanting to get to know me better? I know men are very visual and I like compliments but I want to know does it take away from the guy trying to get to know as a woman because they are so attracted to the outside? I hope this is making sense.
Feelin Frisky Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 Hard to say what goes on in anyone else's head. I generally don't gush compliments like that to someone I'm not already in a relationship with--it's too self-indulgent on my part and inconsiderate since I don't have a clue what she does or doesn't want to hear from me if anything at that moment. I of course and white though. I will keep it to a sly smile (with dimple) if I wish to telegraph my approval.
thatone Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 i would not use the word 'sexy' right away. 'pretty' is a harmless word. as is 'attractive'. 'beautiful' is a compliment word reserved for relationship prospects. there's nothing wrong with judging people by how well they choose their words in conversation, btw. if you can't avoid offending people with the words you choose in a conversation with a person you just met, how are you going to handle discussion of relationship issues later?
carhill Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 It's a possibly good thing if you're not married. If/when I add some such data points, I'll opine on my feelings then. So far, I've only heard such words or intimations from married ladies. The first few times it felt pretty good but once I became accustomed to the mind-fµcking that followed, less good; in fact unbelievable. Over time, I just came to not believe women any more. The rest of the OP appeared to concern mostly men making sexy comments about ladies so it appears to be in conflict with the title.
Author 9Lives Posted September 12, 2011 Author Posted September 12, 2011 Hard to say what goes on in anyone else's head. I generally don't gush compliments like that to someone I'm not already in a relationship with--it's too self-indulgent on my part and inconsiderate since I don't have a clue what she does or doesn't want to hear from me if anything at that moment. I of course and white though. I will keep it to a sly smile (with dimple) if I wish to telegraph my approval. Well Im talking about when they FIRST meet me. They will look at me and want to talk to me. They say, you so sexy. I do have pretty hair, pretty face, and pretty smile. PLEASE BELIEVE ME....Im not trying to brag. I want to understand. I want them to be attracted to me but I want to know is that taking away from the experience of them wanting to get to know me better because they are so attracted to me physically?
carhill Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 OK, my reading skills are rusty.... You evidently want to know what a man is *thinking* and/or *feeling* when he tells a woman upon first meeting that she's 'sexy' or makes sexual comments at that point. One, he's clearly sexual. He relates to women in a sexual way. The primary reason for women being in his life is sexual. He owns that perspective. Two, he's assertive. There's no ambiguity about his desire. No reticence. He's 'out there' with his sexual desire and wants any woman he desires to know it. If this matches up with the type of man you want to build a relationship with, then go with that. He's not going to change, especially this kind of man. Ask yourself if you've ever had a successful relationship (even short term) with a man who was less 'clear' about his sexual desire for you. If so, what did that experience teach you compared to those men like the ones described. What works for you?
Author 9Lives Posted September 12, 2011 Author Posted September 12, 2011 OK, my reading skills are rusty.... You evidently want to know what a man is *thinking* and/or *feeling* when he tells a woman upon first meeting that she's 'sexy' or makes sexual comments at that point. One, he's clearly sexual. He relates to women in a sexual way. The primary reason for women being in his life is sexual. He owns that perspective. Two, he's assertive. There's no ambiguity about his desire. No reticence. He's 'out there' with his sexual desire and wants any woman he desires to know it. If this matches up with the type of man you want to build a relationship with, then go with that. He's not going to change, especially this kind of man. Ask yourself if you've ever had a successful relationship (even short term) with a man who was less 'clear' about his sexual desire for you. If so, what did that experience teach you compared to those men like the ones described. What works for you? Well I dont know. Im trying to make sense of this. I dont mind the attentions. Im not dressing like a street chic. I have a nice body and a pretty face. I do wear clothes that compliment my figure because I am single and would like to meet someone. Sometimes I think when they look at me that they are so attracted to the physical that I have to get them to understand that Im not rushing into a sexual relationship with them. I dont know if this is the way it goes. Like people are use to having sex quick or Im I making them just think sexual too soon because of my looks. AGAIN, IM NOT DRESSING LIKE A SLUT OR ANYTHING. I may wear a sundress with heels but I have big nipples so it looks nice but men look at me like wow! You see what I mean. I may wear white short and a tshirt but I have a big butt so my white shorts are showing my figure. Its like that. Im not dressing like a street chic. I want to be attractive to men. I want to be sexy to them. I just hope this is not holding me back.
todd Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 OK, my reading skills are rusty.... You evidently want to know what a man is *thinking* and/or *feeling* when he tells a woman upon first meeting that she's 'sexy' or makes sexual comments at that point. One, he's clearly sexual. He relates to women in a sexual way. The primary reason for women being in his life is sexual. He owns that perspective. Two, he's assertive. There's no ambiguity about his desire. No reticence. He's 'out there' with his sexual desire and wants any woman he desires to know it. If this matches up with the type of man you want to build a relationship with, then go with that. He's not going to change, especially this kind of man. Ask yourself if you've ever had a successful relationship (even short term) with a man who was less 'clear' about his sexual desire for you. If so, what did that experience teach you compared to those men like the ones described. What works for you? Sounds about right.
carhill Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 OP, you're in charge of two aspects relevant to this: 1. You're in complete charge of how you appear, beyond genetics. You choose both how you present yourself physically as well as your demeanor. 2. Your psychology is a major factor in who you find attractive and how you present yourself to such people. Using your example of how you were dressed/appeared, I would definitely notice such aspects and perhaps (not guaranteed) might have feelings of attraction but wouldn't express anything sexual immediately, rather using those aspects as an impetus for engaging you further. IOW, sex is on my mind but it doesn't rule me. It's unknown whether you respond positively to that kind of interest. I've often heard (from female friends) that such immediate dearth of expressed sexual interest is seen negatively. This is a corollary of my theory that the confused mind says 'no'. The woman isn't sure that the man finds her sexually attractive, ergo any attraction she may feel dwindles. Men don't generally function like this, as our role in sex is different, so the 'rules' are a bit different in this regard.
Cracker Jack Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 Yes, they're admiring your beauty. I never tell a woman how pretty her toes are, but I would like to. Those guys lay it all out there.
Eddie Edirol Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 You cant tell if a man is only looking at you sexually at first meeting unless he admits it. So you have to have a couple coffee dates to find out if sex is all he wants. But I'll tell you this, when you hang out raw meat as bait, the wolves will come out first. So however you dress, thats what you will attract. If youre wearing clothes that are REALLY tight, and you have to mention nipples in your outfits here, then youre obviously dressing provocatively enough to make the wolves pounce on you first. Tone down the sexy wear if you want men to see you for more than your figure.
Easyguy14 Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 Well I dont know. Im trying to make sense of this. I dont mind the attentions. Im not dressing like a street chic. I have a nice body and a pretty face. I do wear clothes that compliment my figure because I am single and would like to meet someone. Sometimes I think when they look at me that they are so attracted to the physical that I have to get them to understand that Im not rushing into a sexual relationship with them. I dont know if this is the way it goes. Like people are use to having sex quick or Im I making them just think sexual too soon because of my looks. AGAIN, IM NOT DRESSING LIKE A SLUT OR ANYTHING. I may wear a sundress with heels but I have big nipples so it looks nice but men look at me like wow! You see what I mean. I may wear white short and a tshirt but I have a big butt so my white shorts are showing my figure. Its like that. Im not dressing like a street chic. I want to be attractive to men. I want to be sexy to them. I just hope this is not holding me back. Im already attracted lol so its clear you're doing a fine job selling yourself here on loveshack. How old are you by the way since you do seem rather clueless as to what men's intentions are upon first meeting you?
Feelin Frisky Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 Well Im talking about when they FIRST meet me. They will look at me and want to talk to me. They say, you so sexy. I do have pretty hair, pretty face, and pretty smile. PLEASE BELIEVE ME....Im not trying to brag. I want to understand. I want them to be attracted to me but I want to know is that taking away from the experience of them wanting to get to know me better because they are so attracted to me physically? How could anyone say this as a universal thing for every man? Some guys are deep, some are shallow. Both can say nice things about your appearance when they meet you. Does being attracted to a woman because she looks appealing and saying so prevent a guy from seeing any more? No. But seeing any more and valuing who you are is something no one can do without you demonstrating that over some time. I mentioned that I myself don't come on like that. Why? Because it's so predictable and fawning. A woman who's good-looking knows damn well she is. I don't need to stand there and act like I'm hypnotized by it. And I think women like to chase to some extent. They''l want the guy who shows her she ain't all that.
Shaun-Dro Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 Men tell me ALL THE TIME that they think I am so sexy. They also think I am pretty, with a pretty smile, sexy body, pretty hair, and pretty toes. Im not bragging right now. I am telling you the feedback I get most of the time. I know they are trying to compliment me but does it take away from you wanting to get to know me better? I know men are very visual and I like compliments but I want to know does it take away from the guy trying to get to know as a woman because they are so attracted to the outside? I hope this is making sense. If you're so hot, why are you single? Looking for that fantasy boyfriend? I got news for you: he don't exist! Understand that and move on.
runner Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 (edited) Men tell me ALL THE TIME that they think I am so sexy. They also think I am pretty, with a pretty smile, sexy body, pretty hair, and pretty toes. Im not bragging right now. I am telling you the feedback I get most of the time. I know they are trying to compliment me but does it take away from you wanting to get to know me better? I know men are very visual and I like compliments but I want to know does it take away from the guy trying to get to know as a woman because they are so attracted to the outside? I hope this is making sense. your wording is a bit awkward but i think i get what you're saying. ... at least in my own experience, my answer is no; i admit that i've gone out of my way to get to know a women simply because i thought she was physically attractive. and i'm usually sublte about communicating that to her than an outright "you so sexy" comment , but that's just me. but that's all in the initial approach. i have no problem deleting numbers if i found her unattractive in other ways. Edited September 12, 2011 by runner
Author 9Lives Posted September 12, 2011 Author Posted September 12, 2011 If you're so hot, why are you single? Looking for that fantasy boyfriend? I got news for you: he don't exist! Understand that and move on. I always meet guys that I am attracted to. When I do, he is either married or has a girlfriend. I just joined a dating site recently so I probably will meet a single guy now. Im not looking for a fantasy man, I know better. Just someone I enjoy as well. I feel like some guys hold it against you that alot of men are attracted to you. If they see that, it is kind of a turn off for some.
oldguy Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 It depends on who is telling you & the situation your in. Although the toe thing is a little more than just creepy.
denise_xo Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 I will keep it to a sly smile (with dimple) if I wish to telegraph my approval.
madjac74 Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 I think "You are so sexy" is a little bit much coming from someone you just met. It implies that they can't really control their hormones and their first thought about you is "sex". It's fine if they are attracted to you and want to get to know you but there are better ways to go about it. Yesterday I was flirting with the girl who was helping me at the jewelry store and amidst small talk I mentioned that she was cute. I think that got the same point across as "you are so sexy" without being as crude.
grkBoy Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 Men tell me ALL THE TIME that they think I am so sexy. They also think I am pretty, with a pretty smile, sexy body, pretty hair, and pretty toes. Im not bragging right now. I am telling you the feedback I get most of the time. I know they are trying to compliment me but does it take away from you wanting to get to know me better? I know men are very visual and I like compliments but I want to know does it take away from the guy trying to get to know as a woman because they are so attracted to the outside? I hope this is making sense. You worry too much. Take it as a compliment.
phillyfan Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 Dude u hit the town in a sundress, hi heels and start talkin bout how ur big nipples look great - wtf, yea u r dressin to really get guys to think u r sexy. Aint nothin wrong in that girl but yea they r gona be thinkin about sex n no, they aint gona b 2 interestd in ur personality so much n thy mite thnk u r the kind a girl 2 have fun with. U need 2 tone it down and go for less sexy outfits n a less sexy way of talkin if u want 2 find a boyfriend.
Easyguy14 Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 I always meet guys that I am attracted to. When I do, he is either married or has a girlfriend. I just joined a dating site recently so I probably will meet a single guy now. Im not looking for a fantasy man, I know better. Just someone I enjoy as well. I feel like some guys hold it against you that alot of men are attracted to you. If they see that, it is kind of a turn off for some. its interesting that you didn't wanna answer my question about your age? I know it doesn't make a big difference but you seem young with how you say certain things and your outlook so Im just trying to filter you as about 25-30 maybe? if you're older than that, I think you need a wakeup call.
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