cloud10 Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 I have a problem approaching attractive women without the liqour courage...I mean I'm a good looking guy I get alot of looks and compliments. I'm confident with my appearance and so forth and usually the center of attention in the group. What are some good strategies to approach and cordially introduce yourself to a single and/or group of females? I feel like I miss out on the female that stares at you across the room but I do nothing about it. ;( Another problem is I don't get to mingle much with women. I have recently graduated college and looking to settle down. Therefore it seems I rarely run across a girl I have interest in or vice versa.
robdrm32 Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 Start talking to everyone, and i mean everyone you come into contact with. Male or female. Cashiers, deli clerks, you name it. Make light convo, little quips. Practice making conversation until you perfect it. Don't get a strategy, just be natural about it. Getting comfortable talking to new PEOPLE will eventually lead to you being comfortable talking to new, attractive women.
Nexus One Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 Start talking to everyone, and i mean everyone you come into contact with. Male or female. Cashiers, deli clerks, you name it. Make light convo, little quips. Practice making conversation until you perfect it. I agree with the practice part, however talking to other people has another advantage. When you start talking to people early in the day and you do it in a kind and positive manner then you jump-start the socializing part of your brain. Jump-starting that part helps with socializing with women you want to talk to, it helps you get into that "mode". Don't get a strategy, just be natural about it. Getting comfortable talking to new PEOPLE will eventually lead to you being comfortable talking to new, attractive women. Some guys are natural social animals, others aren't. So guys that aren't naturals might need a strategy. Example: You: Hi I'm cloud10, what's you're name? *smile* Her: My name is Anna. You: Perhaps a very direct question, but are you single? *smile while saying it* Her: Yes I'm single. (if she says no, you can say something like, Ah tough luck for me, I'll leave it at this then. Have a nice day Noa, *politely smile/laugh it off*) You: Want to exchange numbers? *then pass her your phone for example, having it already set for her to type her number into it* Now that's more of a (direct) cold approach, but might not be appropriate for a bar setting where socializing is the norm. In that case you will have to strike up a conversation with her and show interest by inquiring about her etc, then maybe later you can ask to exchange numbers. When it comes to cold approaches I prefer it to be direct like this, because there's no bullsh*t involved and it's suitable for situations with very little time. Also when you pass her the phone you can have her type the number directly into it and when she's done and gives back the phone, you press the green call button on your phone to test the number and store it to your called numbers/phone book. (testing in case it's a fake nr or she made a mistake)
Feelin Frisky Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 What it all comes down is to act. Most guys--including myself for a long long time--wonder, think, obsess, over-think, wonder some more. The longer this goes on the more becomes a crisis to say anything or risk anything. So, keep telling yourself to act on every small chance and exude confidence in doing so. If you break the ice with someone, ask for introductions to others. Even use people to play cupid for you--like "tell your friend I think she's cute". That kind of stuff. Just don't get caught in amplifying things in your head and failing to do stuff.
mr.dream merchant Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 You know what always worked for me with attractive women? Not acting like the rest of the male population ie. drooling over her looks. Just treat her like a normal person, because trust me I get lots of attention and I wish I weren't so noticeable...and I'm a guy. Amplify the amount of attention I get by like 21420948724728956238742568732564826754267452675432 to the 23871837189371 power and you'll have the amount of attention an attractive woman gets from men. If I know one thing for sure, they're sick of it. They're sick of hearing how pretty they are, or how toned her ass is. Or how nice her eyes are. Just be a normal gentlemanlike fella for her. Hold the door open, smile when you talk to her. But don't be like the rest of the men. Treat her like a person, not a ****ing blow up sex doll you can't wait to get your dick in. Why do you think men see more success when they're already ****ing another woman? Because they aren't so hung up on getting pussy. This in turn causes them to be laid back, calm and collected, and cool around other women, other attractive women, other attractive women who NOTICE how calm and collected this guy is, how mysterious this guy is because he's not...****ing drooling over her head over her looks. My advice? Get you another girl, and **** her about 3 times a week. Meanwhile, be noticeable around this pretty woman that you want. Just be around her. Don't be a dick, be polite. But don't go out of your way to talk to her. Guarantee you she'll come to you, just because it's such a MIND **** to her that you aren't acting like every other guy would. Peace.
robdrm32 Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 I agree with the practice part, however talking to other people has another advantage. When you start talking to people early in the day and you do it in a kind and positive manner then you jump-start the socializing part of your brain. Jump-starting that part helps with socializing with women you want to talk to, it helps you get into that "mode". Some guys are natural social animals, others aren't. So guys that aren't naturals might need a strategy. Example: You: Hi I'm cloud10, what's you're name? *smile* Her: My name is Anna. You: Perhaps a very direct question, but are you single? *smile while saying it* Her: Yes I'm single. (if she says no, you can say something like, Ah tough luck for me, I'll leave it at this then. Have a nice day Noa, *politely smile/laugh it off*) You: Want to exchange numbers? *then pass her your phone for example, having it already set for her to type her number into it* Now that's more of a (direct) cold approach, but might not be appropriate for a bar setting where socializing is the norm. In that case you will have to strike up a conversation with her and show interest by inquiring about her etc, then maybe later you can ask to exchange numbers. When it comes to cold approaches I prefer it to be direct like this, because there's no bullsh*t involved and it's suitable for situations with very little time. Also when you pass her the phone you can have her type the number directly into it and when she's done and gives back the phone, you press the green call button on your phone to test the number and store it to your called numbers/phone book. (testing in case it's a fake nr or she made a mistake) What is your success rate and experiences like with this direct approach? I posted a while ago about it and was more or less told its creepy (which i disagree with) but it sounds effective and it makes sense, you cut to the chase and don't waste time. I agree with your take on the strategy, I was more trying to convey that he shouldn't get caught up in all the thinking "what do i say" and get the mental block that usually follows. What mr. dream said is also very true. theres been multiple times when i'm at a small party where there is only a couple of single women, and I end up getting approached over every other guy because i'm basically the only one not hitting on them or making a scene.
Tony T Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 You know what always worked for me with attractive women? Not acting like the rest of the male population ie. drooling over her looks. Just treat her like a normal person, because trust me I get lots of attention and I wish I weren't so noticeable...and I'm a guy. Amplify the amount of attention I get by like 21420948724728956238742568732564826754267452675432 to the 23871837189371 power and you'll have the amount of attention an attractive woman gets from men. If I know one thing for sure, they're sick of it. They're sick of hearing how pretty they are, or how toned her ass is. Or how nice her eyes are. Just be a normal gentlemanlike fella for her. Hold the door open, smile when you talk to her. But don't be like the rest of the men. Treat her like a person, not a ****ing blow up sex doll you can't wait to get your dick in. Why do you think men see more success when they're already ****ing another woman? Because they aren't so hung up on getting pussy. This in turn causes them to be laid back, calm and collected, and cool around other women, other attractive women, other attractive women who NOTICE how calm and collected this guy is, how mysterious this guy is because he's not...****ing drooling over her head over her looks. My advice? Get you another girl, and **** her about 3 times a week. Meanwhile, be noticeable around this pretty woman that you want. Just be around her. Don't be a dick, be polite. But don't go out of your way to talk to her. Guarantee you she'll come to you, just because it's such a MIND **** to her that you aren't acting like every other guy would. Peace. This is the absolute best advice I've seen regarding attracting pretty females in my 12 years on this site. EXCELLENT WINNING FORMULA!!!
Author cloud10 Posted September 12, 2011 Author Posted September 12, 2011 Indeed I couldn't agree more with Dream and the previous posters. I get so caught up over-thinking the sitaution. I will put this into action. I noticed I will over compliment a women or "try too hard". I'm going to adjust and become a more relaxed, comfortable, be myself type guy in front of these attractive women. What do you guys think of a wing-man?
mr.dream merchant Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 This is the absolute best advice I've seen regarding attracting pretty females in my 12 years on this site. EXCELLENT WINNING FORMULA!!! Aw come on, don't troll me Tony.
Cracker Jack Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 You know what always worked for me with attractive women? Not acting like the rest of the male population ie. drooling over her looks. Just treat her like a normal person, because trust me I get lots of attention and I wish I weren't so noticeable...and I'm a guy. Amplify the amount of attention I get by like 21420948724728956238742568732564826754267452675432 to the 23871837189371 power and you'll have the amount of attention an attractive woman gets from men. If I know one thing for sure, they're sick of it. They're sick of hearing how pretty they are, or how toned her ass is. Or how nice her eyes are. Just be a normal gentlemanlike fella for her. Hold the door open, smile when you talk to her. But don't be like the rest of the men. Treat her like a person, not a ****ing blow up sex doll you can't wait to get your dick in. Why do you think men see more success when they're already ****ing another woman? Because they aren't so hung up on getting pussy. This in turn causes them to be laid back, calm and collected, and cool around other women, other attractive women, other attractive women who NOTICE how calm and collected this guy is, how mysterious this guy is because he's not...****ing drooling over her head over her looks. My advice? Get you another girl, and **** her about 3 times a week. Meanwhile, be noticeable around this pretty woman that you want. Just be around her. Don't be a dick, be polite. But don't go out of your way to talk to her. Guarantee you she'll come to you, just because it's such a MIND **** to her that you aren't acting like every other guy would. Peace. Spot *wait for it* on.
coolheadal Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 I have a problem approaching attractive women without the liqour courage...I mean I'm a good looking guy I get alot of looks and compliments. I'm confident with my appearance and so forth and usually the center of attention in the group. What are some good strategies to approach and cordially introduce yourself to a single and/or group of females? I feel like I miss out on the female that stares at you across the room but I do nothing about it. ;( Another problem is I don't get to mingle much with women. I have recently graduated college and looking to settle down. Therefore it seems I rarely run across a girl I have interest in or vice versa. Don't be afraid of them. If you're good looking then use that as your advantage. If they smile at you and stares from a far go right up to them or send a bottle or a glass of your favorite wine to their table. Be yourself smile and ask them the some of the questions posted here. Best to come-up with your own game plan though. Don't want to sound like a come line or hit line. Make sure you do the homework and get any questions about separated, husband, fiance, full-time boyfriend, lover or anything else out of the way so you know what you deck of cards you have left. Just don't want any surprises to pop-up on you later with her.
Zaphod B Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 I have a problem approaching attractive women without the liqour courage...I mean I'm a good looking guy I get alot of looks and compliments. I'm confident with my appearance and so forth and usually the center of attention in the group. What are some good strategies to approach and cordially introduce yourself to a single and/or group of females? I feel like I miss out on the female that stares at you across the room but I do nothing about it. ;( Another problem is I don't get to mingle much with women. I have recently graduated college and looking to settle down. Therefore it seems I rarely run across a girl I have interest in or vice versa. Practise practise practise. Just keep making approaches and go places where you can meet women. That's what I did. And don't feel bad about using Liquor courage. I had to do the same thing, but then after a while I gained confidence and now no longer need the liquor to approach attractive women. I have to admit, I still miss out on a lot of opportunities with "women across the room", but I'm improving and taking more opportunities. The tough thing is always that opening line, but you definitely don't want some cheesy pickup line, that's for sure! I'm still working on that myself, but take each on a case-by-case basis.
motive2002 Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 There was this one time when I approached an extremely attractive woman.. I hate preceding the story with "this one time" but admittedly my balls aren't as stony hard as some of the other posters here... but I digress. Anyhow, I was at a pub, and the woman was there to do a performance (hot and artistic, nice combination) How did I approach? I took on the attitude that I owned the place. She was in "my place". Now of course I didn't really own the place, but the attitude gave me confidence to just walk up to her and start talking. Now the other PUA's in this thread would have "closed" and got the "number", which unfortunately I hadn't done. It was a rush just to puff my chest out and give it a shot. Gotta crawl before you learn to walk. Just my two pence for whatever it's worth. Hope you liked my little story.
D-Lish Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 Start talking to everyone, and i mean everyone you come into contact with. Male or female. Cashiers, deli clerks, you name it. Make light convo, little quips. Practice making conversation until you perfect it. Don't get a strategy, just be natural about it. Getting comfortable talking to new PEOPLE will eventually lead to you being comfortable talking to new, attractive women. I agree with this advice, I've actually given it before! Make a habit of striking up conversations with the non-threatening bunch to begin with and work your way up. Just get comfortable talking to people in general- you being the initiator. The cold approach is hard, youhave to be prepared that someone's going to say they have a bf or just turn you down. In another thread Nexus said he had business cards with his contact info on them that were different from his actual business cards. You can simply hand a card to a woman and say "Hey, I'd love to take you out, here is my contact info"... Do you know how many missed opportunities I see everyday. A real cute guy will make eye contact with me on the street, but just keep walking on by. In my head I am thinking "I wish you'd said hi"...
Jynxx Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 Example: You: Hi I'm cloud10, what's you're name? *smile* Her: My name is Anna. You: Perhaps a very direct question, but are you single? *smile while saying it* Her: Yes I'm single. (if she says no, you can say something like, Ah tough luck for me, I'll leave it at this then. Have a nice day Noa, *politely smile/laugh it off*) You: Want to exchange numbers? *then pass her your phone for example, having it already set for her to type her number into it* Unless you look like Brad Pitt, this will not end well. Women don't give their number to strangers, and when you ask for it 15 seconds in the conversation you are obviously still a stranger.
D-Lish Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 Unless you look like Brad Pitt, this will not end well. Women don't give their number to strangers, and when you ask for it 15 seconds in the conversation you are obviously still a stranger. I disagree. One girls Brad Pitt isn't the same as another's. Take a chance, or forever hold your peace.
dispatch3d Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 Most girls are retarded. Why you care what they think I don't know.
Nexus One Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 Unless you look like Brad Pitt, this will not end well. Women don't give their number to strangers, and when you ask for it 15 seconds in the conversation you are obviously still a stranger. When you as a guy are looking for a relationship, then part of what you're looking for is chemistry. A woman that sees potential for chemistry will be open to approach. And if she's really on her guard regarding strangers and doesn't want to give a number, then you pass her your contact information by writing it down on something like post-it note or by giving out a business/networking card. I don't always carry a pen, note or even a phone with me, so I'm having business cards printed for this purpose. And if she doesn't want to have anything to do with you, then so be it, because who wants to be with someone that doesn't reciprocate? As a guy I'd want a woman to feel it too, I don't want to be in some asymmetrical relationship. So if she doesn't want it, well then tough luck for me, perhaps I'll meet another woman I'd like who then also likes me back and is open to me approaching her.
D-Lish Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 Most girls are retarded. Why you care what they think I don't know. Many guys are equally ridiculous. I give up myself.
Author cloud10 Posted September 14, 2011 Author Posted September 14, 2011 So I noticed recently when I started to talk to women and as many people as possible. That my conversational skills broadened and it just came natural to me after trial and error. It was very tough because I don't have much conversation through out the day with anyone because of my work and hours. Currently I'm "interested" in someone and she's "interested" in me. We've hung out a few times since and stay in touch via text. She told me she wants to take it slow. So I'm being patient. I also have a "get together" with 2 of my best girlfriends this Friday. They are bringing another girl I have yet to meet. They say that I will like her so I'm going to keep my options open. I kinda feel like I'm getting back into my player hay days because eventually I'll have a hard time choosing...yet people say not to focus all your attention on that one girl.
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