mrgoodcat Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 (edited) Ok, mrgoodcat in trouble. I posted a week ago about my miscommunication/rejection with this girl that works in a local store. After feeling rejected I felt bummed out, but a day later was cool with it. It's been a week and I didn't really see her. I even went on a fun weekend trip. Came back, stopped by the store, saw her and got overwhelmed by frustration again. I noticeably ignored her and she had puffed up face too seeing me. So, I have question of alternatives of how to best to put this bitter feeling behind: a) work me up some new interest b) talk to this girl again, even though I'm 80% sure she has a guy c) focus on work.....but that hasn't worked, so NO. d) ? If you need more context: So, there is this girl who works in a store that I thought liked me. I figured that since she'd always throw glances at me or try to start up conversation whenever I was at the checkout. So, couple days ago, I thought I'd talk to her after she gets off from work. So, I did, and we actually ended up talking for 1 hour. I didn't ask for her number there, but I asked if we can continue this some other day and she said she'll get off work same time on Sunday(this past Sunday). Well, Sunday came and she wasn't there after work. I waited half hour and left. I didn't bother going to the store for a couple of days and just saw her today. I said hi, and asked her where I can find and item... Kinda didn't feel like saying much. I was feeling sore about that Sunday, but thought I might give a shot again and see if I can schedule a date. So, I waited for her again, only to find a short dude walking her home. Edited September 12, 2011 by mrgoodcat
Author mrgoodcat Posted September 12, 2011 Author Posted September 12, 2011 Ok, by the unanimous silence I'll conclude I'm being a sore loser/rejectee. So how do you deal with being a sore about something like this?
sleepykitten Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 Dont take it to heart and move on, she may have forgotton, or was just being polite, or...there are lots of reasons. You'll find as you go through life people let you down or reject you and you just have to have enough self worth to think, hey, no worries, her loss.
Author mrgoodcat Posted September 12, 2011 Author Posted September 12, 2011 Well, I spoken to her after all. She definitely seems to have a guy after her already, and I assume she was hesitant to give me her number as a result. She almost did, but she didn't. She goes, "I can give you a hug". Heheh, gee thanks. And I did ask her out on a "date". I don't know if that was a polite rejection altogether (I mean that was a "no") but she could still want me to show that I like her enough. I know the rooster that's hitting after her isn't on my level, but I don't know if the juice is worth the squeeze. I don't know.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 MrGoodCat, the only way to get over the hurt of rejection is to learn to not find validation through how much other people like you. It's not easy but it's also not healthy to judge your own worth through other people's eyes. We live in a culture that that's all we do but the key is learning to be above this. This way, you won't care what people think so much and you will go after more of what you want in your life -be damned how they think of you. Good luck.
Author mrgoodcat Posted September 12, 2011 Author Posted September 12, 2011 Well, it's not about validation for me. I've had girls like/love me and so I'm perfectly adequate male. I just think I want this girl. My feeling of needing her may have been exacerbated by the fact that she does have a gnome dating her. I want this girl now because it requires chase.... I just hope I don't get bored as soon as I get her. Yes, I'll get this girl, for better or worse.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 Sorry Mrgoodcat, but this is a contradiction Well, it's not about validation for me. I've had girls like/love me and so I'm perfectly adequate male. You define your "adequateness" (or your "validation") because other girls liked/loved you. I want this girl now because it requires chase.... I just hope I don't get bored as soon as I get her. Yes, I'll get this girl, for better or worse Yeah, you totally validate yourself through women.
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