Imageiko Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 EDIT: 800th post! It is a silly question, but I could care less if my woman stripped in front a bunch of men she did not engage with the m physically. Nudity is nudity, whatever. It isn't about saving face among my male friends, but supporting a friend who is getting married. The bachelor party and wedding are about him and not me. It has nothing to do with honoring a relationship as I am not necessarily getting a lap dance or engaging in physical contact. By that definition, if I saw a streaker running across the street I would have to confess to my gf that I cheated. Besides, the guy is supposed to forgo a friend's bachelor party for a woman doesn't even want a serious relationship with him? +1 How can you possibly have any close friends if you skip their bachelor party because you think it disrespects a girl you've been seeing for a short time and might or might not become a serious relationship. Thats extremely disrespectful to a good friend and for me personally friends come before a girl I'm dating for a short time. How is your girlfriend striping somewhere the same as you in a bar watching other ppl strip. What do you do if there's nudity in a movie your friends are watching, leave the room? Being an adult involves having some self control, if you can't go to a strip club and not immediately walk around trying to dry hump every stripper in the place then you have a problem. OMG you talking about men in strip clubs again ugh! I will repeat that you can go to a strip club without having sexual desires toward the dancers. You can even be completely oblivious to their presence and you can even miss your SO more. But you have this jaded view of men being all creepy and excited to motorboat every stripper they see! And +1 to this obviously as well
FitChick Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 Evidently the OP never saw The Hangover or The Hangover 2.
Sanman Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 Evidently the OP never saw The Hangover or The Hangover 2. Wait are you suggesting he is locked on a roof, in an elevator, or that he had sex with a thai lady boy?
madjac74 Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 "whatever happens in vegas stays in vegas...except herpes. That **** comes back with you"
Disenchantedly Yours Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 Sanman It is a silly question, but I could care less if my woman stripped in front a bunch of men she did not engage with the m physically. Nudity is nudity, whatever. Well it's not that silly of a question. It's about relating the situation in terms of female sexuality vs male sexuality. Which we could get into a huge discussion about. But I appreciate you answering despite you personally thinking it as silly. I think more men then not would have a problem with that situation though. It isn't about saving face among my male friends, but supporting a friend who is getting married. The bachelor party and wedding are about him and not me. It has nothing to do with honoring a relationship as I am not necessarily getting a lap dance or engaging in physical contact. By that definition, if I saw a streaker running across the street I would have to confess to my gf that I cheated. I'm not sure how going to a bachelor party supports a friend getting married. I'm not even sure why men that are about to get married even want a bachelor party in terms of strip clubs. But that is just me. I appreicate the men that celebrate the marraige of their friend by going to baseball games or camping or golfing. Things guys can do together that doesn't involve obviously sexual situations and titilation through other women. I don't think bachelor parties with strip clubs have anyting to do with celebrating a marriage or wedding. I just htink too many men use that as a justification to get away with behavior that I personally consider disrespectful. A streaker running across the street is an event you couldn't have predicted. And I think that's a really silly comparison myself when we are talking about men and strip clubs and celebrating "marriage" through enjoyment and sexual titilation of other young women. Besides, the guy is supposed to forgo a friend's bachelor party for a woman doesn't even want a serious relationship with him? It sounded like she was into him. I must have missed where it said she didn't want a serious relationship with him.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 OMG you talking about men in strip clubs again ugh! I will repeat that you can go to a strip club without having sexual desires toward the dancers. You can even be completely oblivious to their presence and you can even miss your SO more. But you have this jaded view of men being all creepy and excited to motorboat every stripper they see! I know..I am positively a bore with my stripper talk. I am sure that can happen in some (few) cases. I however think more men then not are going to strip joints to purposely titilate themselves through and with other women. I am a bit jaded..hence my name .... but I don't think men are going to strip clubs to be all innocent and respectful and trying to play it off as such wouldn't be fair either. But ya know I love ya anyway Madjac
madjac74 Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 I know..I am positively a bore with my stripper talk. I am sure that can happen in some (few) cases. I however think more men then not are going to strip joints to purposely titilate themselves through and with other women. I am a bit jaded..hence my name .... but I don't think men are going to strip clubs to be all innocent and respectful and trying to play it off as such wouldn't be fair either. But ya know I love ya anyway Madjac I know you do And I'm sure the people who frequent these exotic dance clubs are under some belief that they are going to take one of these girls home with them one day. But I highly doubt your occassional bachelor party guy is seriously getting turned on by the whole atmosphere.
cdm369 Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 I feel its totally about respect. I have the utmost respect for my fiance and I would never put her in that situation. my opinion if you respect or care for your SO you wouldn't put them or yourself in that situation. People set themselves up for failure way too often.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 Imageiko +1 How can you possibly have any close friends if you skip their bachelor party because you think it disrespects a girl you've been seeing for a short time and might or might not become a serious relationship. Thats extremely disrespectful to a good friend and for me personally friends come before a girl I'm dating for a short time. You're right. Honoring your friends is more important. And if you don't go to a strip club then natrually you can't have close friends. Because obviously strip clubs are dependent on how close you remain to a friend. It's all about men respecting each other. With very little respect being offered to their own partners. To me personally, a man about to be married celebrating his marriage by barely dressed young strippers might as well verbally be saying he doesn't care that much about showing his respect for her then he does getting "his" and having fun with his buddies. Again, that's just me. Why don't more men just have bachelor parties that focus more on guy activities like sports or things of that accord? Why do they have to involve strip clubs to begin with? If you need that last "good time" , maybe you aren't ready to get married. And we all know that "last good time" is only as good until his next friend gets married anyway. Why do men like celebrating the marriage of their friend or themselves by getting themselves into sexual situations with other women? Anyone that denies that strip clubs aren't natural and obvious sexual is lying. How is your girlfriend striping somewhere the same as you in a bar watching other ppl strip. What do you do if there's nudity in a movie your friends are watching, leave the room? Being an adult involves having some self control, if you can't go to a strip club and not immediately walk around trying to dry hump every stripper in the place then you have a problem. Because more often then not, women are more turned on by being looked at for their beauty. Men are more turned onby looking at women of beauty. While there are strip clubs that show case male dancers, a very few limited amount of women are actually turned on by it. Some are, but most aren't. It's more common for men to be turned on by female strippers. Now lets take the second part of this. If a man isn't doing anything wrong by watching women dance naked for him. A woman dancing naked for him isn't doing anyting wrong either right? Nudity coming up in a movie has nothing to do with anything we are talking about. Self control isn't just putting yourself in an obviously sexual situation and then "denying" yourself the goods. Sometimes self control is taking yourself out of the equation entirely and acknowleding that you don't need to put yourself in a tempting situation to begin with. Because even putting yourself in a tempting situation does infact tempt and titilate you to some degree. We can talk about what "adults" do all day long. But strip clubs are the least adult places around. They are all about the most bain aspects of both men and women and behaving badly and indulgently. Lets not try to make it seem like visiting a strip club is a testiment to maturity.
heartbaitdotcom Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 Wow clearly this is a touchy topic that EVERYONE has such passionate opinions about. Bachelor parties always come up in conversations. Because the truth is.. they just don't make sense. It wasn't a well thought out event and somehow everyone just jumped on the bandwagon. How does it make sense to be the MOST single you've been in the past x years of your relationship, the night BEFORE you're making a life-long commitment to this same person? How do you look at this woman in the face the next day after having T&A in your face all night? How is a woman supposed to look a man in the face without knowing what went on? All so these so-called friends can have a GREAT time time out. Bachelor parties are just another way for friends to c*block and turn HIS day into THEIR day. Bottom line. The OP's man was clearly one of the ones reaping the benefits. I'm sure he had a blast.
Sanman Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 I'm not sure how going to a bachelor party supports a friend getting married. I'm not even sure why men that are about to get married even want a bachelor party in terms of strip clubs. But that is just me. I appreicate the men that celebrate the marraige of their friend by going to baseball games or camping or golfing. Things guys can do together that doesn't involve obviously sexual situations and titilation through other women. I don't think bachelor parties with strip clubs have anyting to do with celebrating a marriage or wedding. I just htink too many men use that as a justification to get away with behavior that I personally consider disrespectful. Because you are setting aside a night to join him in doing what HE wants. If all his friends refused to join him at the strip club, then it would ruin his good time. Being a good friend, like being a good partner, involves putting the another person's wants ahead of yours at times. It is like saying you all refuse to eat at his favorite restaurant on his day. There is no rule that a bachelor party must have strippers. It is up to the groom and the guy planning the party. Having planned a few myself (including one as I type this) I have always bowed to the wishes of the groom.
madjac74 Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 I guess women are free and clear despite their bachelorette parties which usually include "private" strippers and /or a night out at the clubs with a "suck for a buck" t-shirt hmmmm. I've also been asked to dance by a bride to be which is far more intimate than someone being paid to do it. In the end, I doubt any pre-wedding festivities have ended many weddings.
Sanman Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 I guess women are free and clear despite their bachelorette parties which usually include "private" strippers and /or a night out at the clubs with a "suck for a buck" t-shirt hmmmm. I've also been asked to dance by a bride to be which is far more intimate than someone being paid to do it. In the end, I doubt any pre-wedding festivities have ended many weddings. When I go to Atlantic City, I have been been approached my many women having bachelorette parties in less than subtle and classy ways. I have been pulled onto a dance floor and grinded with several women while being passed around. I have also been hit over the head with penis shaped objects. Yeah, men aren't the only pigs.
Imageiko Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 And if you don't go to a strip club then natrually you can't have close friends. Because obviously strip clubs are dependent on how close you remain to a friend. It's all about men respecting each other. With very little respect being offered to their own partners. This is obviously absurd, but I invite you to tell your best friend you're not going to his bachelor party because this girl you recently started dating may or may not have a problem with it and see how good friends you are after he's married. The fact that you don't really get that makes me think you just automatically put women in your life ahead of your friends which is totally fine but it's something that rubs me the wrong way and not something I tolerate with my close friends unless their relationship is very serious. Why don't more men just have bachelor parties that focus more on guy activities like sports or things of that accord? Why do they have to involve strip clubs to begin with? If you need that last "good time" , maybe you aren't ready to get married. And we all know that "last good time" is only as good until his next friend gets married anyway. Why do men like celebrating the marriage of their friend or themselves by getting themselves into sexual situations with other women? Anyone that denies that strip clubs aren't natural and obvious sexual is lying. Don't really disagree with you here but as others have said I've seen enough bachelerette parties at clubs to know that it goes both ways. I don't see anything wrong with a last night to blow off steam as long as everybody is on the same page and there is nothing deceitful going on.
Author fwang Posted September 14, 2011 Author Posted September 14, 2011 Hey guys, I am back. Maybe you will think I am weird...Actually, I don't give a damn about if he went to striper club or not. If he wants to sleep with sluts and spend the money, there is nothing I can do to stop him. After all, if you really want to do something, you'll find a way. If you don't, you'll find an excuse. I even told him that drunk-making out was ok if he had to. Besides, he was divorced 8 months ago and I am the second girl he has ever dated and slept with (He is 28 now). I really wish he could have a little bit fun in Las Vegas. Well, he did text me finally, but it was when he checked in the airport of Las Vegas. That's too lame!!! I think he is just not that into me. This weekend, he is going to drive to visit me. I will ask him about this issue. If he gives me BS, I will break it off because he doesn't deserve me.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 I guess women are free and clear despite their bachelorette parties which usually include "private" strippers and /or a night out at the clubs with a "suck for a buck" t-shirt hmmmm. I've also been asked to dance by a bride to be which is far more intimate than someone being paid to do it. In the end, I doubt any pre-wedding festivities have ended many weddings. I don't agree with those kind of bachelorette parties either. I actually never heard of, or seen or been to a bacherlorette party with a private stripper or "suck for a buck" t-shirt. I've gone to a number where we went to some lounge, hung out, drank, talked, laughed, ate and didn't really do much socializing with other men. The Bride might have mroe a goofy Bride cowboy hat or sash but that was about it. I also never said that pre-wedding festivities have ended weddings. But they don't seem to make much logical sense in celebrating a commitment that's already been made a long time ago. I'm sorry but men and women can have bachelor parties/bacherlorette parties that don't include sexual situations with members of the opposite sex. It makes no logical sense to me that a wedding is celebrated on the pecs and tits of other men and women.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 Because you are setting aside a night to join him in doing what HE wants. If all his friends refused to join him at the strip club, then it would ruin his good time. Being a good friend, like being a good partner, involves putting the another person's wants ahead of yours at times. It is like saying you all refuse to eat at his favorite restaurant on his day. There is no rule that a bachelor party must have strippers. It is up to the groom and the guy planning the party. Having planned a few myself (including one as I type this) I have always bowed to the wishes of the groom. It's funny but if you ask the groom, he's going to say the same thing you are, that it's his friends that want to go. Funny that no one actually wants to go to a strip club but they all go anyway. This actually just happened with a friend of mine that had a fight with her boyfriend over what they were planning for his party. He told her that it was his buddies that wanted to do this stuff. His best man kept starting trouble. My friend and her husband-to-be had agreed on a certain setting which hey could both celebrate their wedding. But the Best Man changed those plans and the groom was quite happy about it because he wanted to go along with it , despite the fact that his wife-to-be was upset. So you know what I think? I think it's just a matter of all the guys invovled using other guys as their scapegoat to do something they really want to do. There are so many awesome things men can do together that don't include strip clubs and strippers. And I reallly appreicate the men that make their bacherlor party about celebrating their marriage, with their good friends, by doing hunting trips, camping trips, golf outings and the likes of those things that seem much more sincere then strippers and booze. You talked about how being a good friend, like a good partner, involved putting the other person's wants ahead of yours. Amazing how so many grooms-to-be will put their desire for booze and strippers over the meaning of marriage. But there are a number of guys here that also said it was a matter of respect for them and they didn't feel that it was respectful to their partners and I totally appreicate men like that. So I wanted to give those men props, CDM and Heartbaitdotcom.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 Imageiko This is obviously absurd, but I invite you to tell your best friend you're not going to his bachelor party because this girl you recently started dating may or may not have a problem with it and see how good friends you are after he's married. The fact that you don't really get that makes me think you just automatically put women in your life ahead of your friends which is totally fine but it's something that rubs me the wrong way and not something I tolerate with my close friends unless their relationship is very serious. I'm a woman Imageiko. It rubs me the wrong way that so many men are willing to forgo respect for their wives or girlfriends for strip clubs. That men happily celebrate marrige by leaning on other women sexually for excitment and titilation. But that's just me. Some women are okay with it. So there is someone for everyone. Don't really disagree with you here but as others have said I've seen enough bachelerette parties at clubs to know that it goes both ways. I don't see anything wrong with a last night to blow off steam as long as everybody is on the same page and there is nothing deceitful going on. I also don't condone it within bachelorette parties either. But I don't see it as much with women as I do with men either. Men seem to be happier to deviate from their partners for sexual titilation with other women then the reverse. That's been my experience. A night of blowing off steam is great. A night of blowing of steam doesn't have to be strip clubs and booze. Men can celebrate their marriages by doing other actitivies. Bachelor parties aren't really suppose to be aout blowing off steam anyway. They are suppose to be a celebration to the formal ceremony of a commitment already made long ago.
stillafool Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 It's not an issue of insecurity. Making the assumption that being okay with strip clubs or going to strip clubs equals "security", is foolish. And shaming women by telling them they are automatically "insecure" if they don't like strip clubs within their relationship is emotionally strident. Who was shaming women for not liking strip clubs? I am saying going away for a long weekend with the guys and not hearing from him is not a reason to freak out. One should go out and have their own fun.
Imageiko Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 I'm a woman Imageiko. My bad, poor reading comprehension!
Woggle Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 I don't agree with men who are about to marry grinding on strippers and am glad that DY applies the same standards but I find it funny how differen the responses are in this thread http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t295323/ and he eventually found out she was actually cheating. I think with a bride or a groom if you can't show respect to them before marriages you have no business marrying them.
Author fwang Posted September 15, 2011 Author Posted September 15, 2011 Well, at least, I know that he pretended to be single while he was in Las Vegas because he just added 4 girls he met there on Facebook! WTF?
rafallus Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 He's taking that "let's not be serious" thing surprisingly seriously. Or not surprisingly. Or whatever, I shouldn't think too much about it.
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