Easyguy14 Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 Most men wouldn't feel rejected because they should realise themselves that they should have made an actual move instead of pussy footing around it. Ok what about actual relationship things. Men do the pursuing. Men initiate and plan dates and activities. Men do the courting/wooing. Men initiate the vast majority of all compliments and "i love you's" and etc etc Men initiate the vast majority of all physical affection and intimacy. A good car = 10-15k atleast, but probably alot more than that. And men buy clothes too, you think suits, shoes, watches are free? Men are the initiators and makers of relationships. Men are the driving force behind relaionships. Women are passive and sit back. you're right for the most part but this usually happens in the early stages of the relationship. once the guy sleeps with the girl, she usually starts to jump the efforts higher than him to keep him around. but definitely in the earlier parts of things men are the go-getters because we have to come right out and ask for a date. men cant get away with giving signals cause women will usually ignore them or not see it. Im gonna go with ignore. but with women dropping hints, men cant always tell the difference since we experience girls laughing and smiling just out of being nice and not really at all interested in dating. both parties have to put in equal efforts to get back the same results.
AD1980 Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 Id rather be in the womens positon filtering those who do approach me then the man constantly having to approach random women AS far as signs being easy from women i dont buy it..Though ive never been given signals that a women is interested in me..The few times i thought there were signs of itnerest turned as they werent
sm1tten Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 Only a tiny % (1-2%) of the threads here have any gender specific content at all. If you can't see how many threads in the Dating Forum lately have turned into a poo-flinging gender battle then we aren't reading on the same board. The sad thing to me is that MOST of the women responding to these attacks are in the same positions as MOST of the men who respond to similar attacks on them - not representative of the problem the poster is complaining about. But it never changes. Same ****, different day, different thread. So many people cluelessly eating the same bitter grapes.
D-Lish Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 Most men wouldn't feel rejected because they should realise themselves that they should have made an actual move instead of pussy footing around it. Ok what about actual relationship things. Men do the pursuing. Men initiate and plan dates and activities. Men do the courting/wooing. Men initiate the vast majority of all compliments and "i love you's" and etc etc Men initiate the vast majority of all physical affection and intimacy. A good car = 10-15k atleast, but probably alot more than that. And men buy clothes too, you think suits, shoes, watches are free? Men are the initiators and makers of relationships. Men are the driving force behind relaionships. Women are passive and sit back. Are you 16 years old or something? I've said I love you first. I have no issues with initiating intimacy- I used to wake up my ex every morning with a BJ. I could tell my last bf was shy, so I kissed him first. I've dated men shorter than I am. I actually made more than the last 2 guys I've dated. I love to shop- and I always pick up shirts, wallets, ties, ANYTHING I see that I think a bf would like. I enjoy giving gifts to the guy I am dating. It's almost impossible to get hockey tickets for the NHL team my ex loved- so for x-mas, I bought him tickets to see his favorite team , booked our flights and surprised him with a cool weekend away to see an NHL game with his favorite team in another city. So saying women are passive and sit back is a stupid assumption.
D-Lish Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 This is the stuff champions are made of. So is your signature! That's awesome.
Badsingularity Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 So is your signature! That's awesome. I do say I have to agree.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 this thread is cracking me up.:laugh: Your first post was about 5 1/2 years ago, and now you're back and up to "8". Interestingly, that first post began: "What happened???" (back then you were 24... and now a more experienced 29-ish) (somehow that seems 'better...' )
ScreamingTrees Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 (edited) Ok.. While I can see that there are quite a few really warped mindsets at play in this thread, one thing that kinda makes me go "lolwut?" is DY's idea that girls can be "subtly" rejected.. If you believe this, you're basically assuming that every attractive guy that you talk to, smile at and laugh with is going to assume you're interested in them just because you're being friendly. And you probably disregard the "uglier"/heavier guys to not be rejections because you weren't attracted to them and didn't see them in the first place. Do you really think that guys in the real world are as desperate as some of the guys posting on this forum? Why should any person, regardless of gender, think like this? We're all human, afraid of rejection.. Why would anyone think it isn't a risk just because they were being friendly? Can't anyone be friendly without an ulterior motive? : This is what happens when a guy thinks that vague positive social behavior is an indication that a girl is clearly into him and not just being a nice human being. Flip things around, same idea, different ****. Edited September 13, 2011 by ScreamingTrees
Titania22 Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 Glad to see I have some fans:cool: You have more fans than you know.
Ginger Beer Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 LS does not support that the percentage of good women is small. I could angrily say the same thing about men, but I don't blame an entire gender for me not striking it lucky in love. Be angry, be frustrated, be lonely, be whatever, but don't blame the entire female population. That's just absurd. It seems to me that in terms of your life, your locus of control is external. You feel like the things that happen to you (including meeting these women) isn't your fault. You feel the "blame" lies outside of yourself. You need to develop an internal locus of control where you take accountability for your own actions and realize that many of the things that happen to you are because of YOU. Most men are dicks though, people are cunts.
AD1980 Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 What is it with some of you guys on this site who apparently think women don't experience anything human? Right now I'm kind of lonely. Most of my friends are starting to get married and have babies and I don't even have a steady boyfriend right now. Infact, I have to go alone to a wedding in a couple weeks.I'm happy for my friends but I want someone special for myself. They are all starting to get wrapped up in more grown up lives. And I don't want to be Aunt DY with the 50 cats as their kids grown up. But I'm not any guys dream girl. I don't look like a Maxim model but I do the best with what God gave me. I've been rejected by short guys, bald guys, over weight ones...So it's not like I date only hot hot guys. And granted, I have also rejected short guys, bald guys, over weight ones and even tall athletic ones but my point is that average joes reject women too. And women, being human beings, just like you, experience a wide range of emotions that aren't just full of happiness over a new pair of shoes and free dates. And until you recongnize that women are people, that experience a wide range of life experience both negative and positive like yourself, you're never going to be connect to us. So the short men the fat men and bald aka the undesirable Men actually rejected you?
Disenchantedly Yours Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 So short guys cant be hot and are automatically average joes? PJKino, you know what is awful about your response? In everything I said about my own dating experiences, about how women get rejected (since I'm a woman and I've been rejected), the only thing you cared to respond to was that I said that short guys rejected me and that "average joes" rejected to me too. This is the exact problem I was highlighting. A number of men here don't see women as people with experiences both good and bad. And you decided to ignore everything I said about my own experiences (because you honestly don't care what my experience as a woman is) in favor of complaining about my attraction to men I called average joes. You could have said "Hey DY, it sounds like you have your own battles in dating and I'm sorry about that". But no, you don't care about that. You don't care about the things women go through that aren't any worse or better then the things men go through. You care about the fact that I'm attracted to men that I described as bald, short, fat and atheltic and decided to take that as a slight for some crazy insane reason. There is a time to talk about what bothers you as a man. And then there is a time to learn to relate to women enough to hear them out about what bothers them. Which was the point in me sharing how some of my dating experiences have gone. But you are so wrapped up in your personal issues you could care less about relating to women or understanding them for one moment. You are never going to have a healthy relationship with a woman if you wallow in your own self pain and refuse to see the other gender as human beings.
ScreamingTrees Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 I guess my post wasn't worth addressing? It's not like I attacked you, just questioning your reasoning on one specific thing.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 Cocaine In order to be rejected you actually have to take a chance and risk it, you have to put yourself out there at the risk of being openly rejected. That's how we men get rejected. Excuse me but did I not above say that when I "put myself" out there to get to know men that I've been rejected by them? Seriously, what in the world is wrong with you. We men put ourselves out there and risk it. Yes, men put themselves out there and risk it sometimes. But so do women. Just because women don't do most of the approaching doesn't mean women aren't putting themselves out there. And that's really your beef isn't it. Not that women don't put themselves out there but that they don't act like men in their dating and relating practices. That is NOT being rejected. The woman didn't take a chance, she didn't put herself out there, she didn't risk being shot down and humiliated. The man probably didn't even know you felt rejected. I didn't realize that rejection came in only one singular format in the world. There are many ways that both men and women are rejected that go beyond your pittiful examples. Women are people. JUST LIKE YOU. They get rejected. JUST LIKE YOU. They are happy, they are sad, they are angry, things happen to them..Again...JUST LIKE YOU. Until you see women as human beings, you will forever be angry at women because of your own inner feelings about yourself. And that's why it doesn't count. You can't get rejected if you only give out signals, I'm sorry but that's the cowardice way. There's NO chance of embarrasment or suffering the humiliation of openly being rejected. Yes you can be rejected if you give out signals. And you can be rejected by being upfront. You can be rejected when a man doesn't call you ever again or sends you a little message via text or email he isn't interested and he found someone else he is more compatible with. Keep telling yourself that only men feel pain. That way you don't have to treat women like people. You don't put in any effort. You don't do any work. You don't take any initiatives. You do not risk being openly rejected and embarrased. "you", "you", "you"..."you" women. Again, until you see women as people who are equal to you but different, who experience the ups and downs of dating just like you, you will never be able to have a healthy relationship with a woman.
PJKino Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 PJKino, you know what is awful about your response? In everything I said about my own dating experiences, about how women get rejected (since I'm a woman and I've been rejected), the only thing you cared to respond to was that I said that short guys rejected me and that "average joes" rejected to me too. This is the exact problem I was highlighting. A number of men here don't see women as people with experiences both good and bad. And you decided to ignore everything I said about my own experiences (because you honestly don't care what my experience as a woman is) in favor of complaining about my attraction to men I called average joes. You could have said "Hey DY, it sounds like you have your own battles in dating and I'm sorry about that". But no, you don't care about that. You don't care about the things women go through that aren't any worse or better then the things men go through. You care about the fact that I'm attracted to men that I described as bald, short, fat and atheltic and decided to take that as a slight for some crazy insane reason. There is a time to talk about what bothers you as a man. And then there is a time to learn to relate to women enough to hear them out about what bothers them. Which was the point in me sharing how some of my dating experiences have gone. But you are so wrapped up in your personal issues you could care less about relating to women or understanding them for one moment. You are never going to have a healthy relationship with a woman if you wallow in your own self pain and refuse to see the other gender as human beings. Everyone here is looking to answers for thmeslves, i seriously doubt that you first came here to find out about lonely Mens plight What you said came off as insnesitive becasue u made it seem like your attracted to guys who arent desirable to most women[fat short or bald] and even they the lowely somehow rejected you
Disenchantedly Yours Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 So the short men the fat men and bald aka the undesirable Men actually rejected you? Read my response to PJKino. Further, you're the one that said they were undesirable. I wouldn't have gone out on dates with them if I didn't find them attractive. I've said it before and I will say it again, I've been attracted to all kinds of men. I haven't always been turned on by the stereotpycailly hottest guy. Getting pissy at me because I described the men I dated with their real features such as being short, fat or bald and further ignoring everything else I said about my own dating struggles because your anger at me describing the men I was INTERESTED in with their real features is really just immature and silly on your part. It also once again highlights the fact that you could care less about women as people who go through their own experience and really only care about yourself and other men *most*. There is a time to talk about men's issues. And there is a time to talk about women's issues. And there is a time to talk about them together. But if you are only able to focus on men and your pain and how you feel mistreated, you will never have a healthy relationship with a woman.
ScreamingTrees Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 Am I really that clueless? Guess so.. I seem to get a lot of the positive signs of interest, according to your earlier posts, but they'd never led anywhere. So you seriously think I rejected all of those pretty, nice girls that I've talked to in my travels? Well, I certainly didn't do it intentionally, that's for sure!
snug.bunny Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 ....Is this because of the Target girl? OP, you were purposely mean to her when you first met her in Target but she decides to give it a shot, despite your meanness. Then you basically flipped on her over stuffing and kicked her out of your house. That is why she is not putting forth any effort. Now, if she didn't before, then eff it! This is an isolated incident, and you cannot truthfully claim nor verify, that all women are the reason relationships fail. Both men and women, can become lazy during a relationship at times... I've done my share of putting forth effort with certain things and so have the men I have dated.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 Everyone here is looking to answers for thmeslves, i seriously doubt that you first came here to find out about lonely Mens plight What you said came off as insnesitive becasue u made it seem like your attracted to guys who arent desirable to most women[fat short or bald] and even they the lowely somehow rejected you PJKino, perhaps *you* are only looking for answers for yourself. But that's really your exact problem. You wallow in your own self pity and refuse to see other people or what they go through. Relationsihps are half and half. It's good to know what you want and what you don't want but you also need to be able to see the other person in the relationship as a human being. And human beings experience a wide range of emotion and issues in life. Until you recongnize that women are human beings, right now you clearly don't, you will be a very frustrated, unhappy man. The point of my post was to show that women get rejected. And that they get rejected by a variety of men that come in different shapes and sizes. There was nothing offensive in my post. I also said atheltic men have rejected me but for some reason you didn't take that offensively. I guess next time I'll only talk about the super hot guys that rejected me and that way you can complain about how I don't give regular guys a chance. The fact that you manipulated my comments into something ugly when it wasn't reiterates how you only care about your pain. And that's a really awful place to be. You need to crawl out of that hole you dug for yourself. I've been there too. In that hole. Most of us have due to some reason or another. And until you start crawling out, you're going to be surrounded with junk that keeps you down.
PJKino Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 PJKino, perhaps *you* are only looking for answers for yourself. But that's really your exact problem. You wallow in your own self pity and refuse to see other people or what they go through. Relationsihps are half and half. It's good to know what you want and what you don't want but you also need to be able to see the other person in the relationship as a human being. And human beings experience a wide range of emotion and issues in life. Until you recongnize that women are human beings, right now you clearly don't, you will be a very frustrated, unhappy man. The point of my post was to show that women get rejected. And that they get rejected by a variety of men that come in different shapes and sizes. There was nothing offensive in my post. I also said atheltic men have rejected me but for some reason you didn't take that offensively. I guess next time I'll only talk about the super hot guys that rejected me and that way you can complain about how I don't give regular guys a chance. The fact that you manipulated my comments into something ugly when it wasn't reiterates how you only care about your pain. And that's a really awful place to be. You need to crawl out of that hole you dug for yourself. I've been there too. In that hole. Most of us have due to some reason or another. And until you start crawling out, you're going to be surrounded with junk that keeps you down. Stop portraying me as something im not when you know nothing about me,i do see women as human beings,ask any women who knows me and theyll ltell you im a real good guy so stop the bs I also find it iroinc how you keep saying all i or others care about is mens or their own plight when you turn most of these types of threads into Men need to care about womens plight You seem one sided yourself in all of this
Disenchantedly Yours Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 PJKino - you sound like a very angry man. And I haven't yet seen a reflection that you do consider women people. You wallow in the struggles you face as a man but I've never seen you comment on anything positive or encouraging toward women or really any issue that women face. If you want to direct me to a thread where you have, I'm open to reading it. Show me where I can find that thread. As for how many threads I've turned into "women's plight", that's utter nonsense but if you want to go on to believe that, you can. It's no skin off my back.
PJKino Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 PJKino - you sound like a very angry man. And I haven't yet seen a reflection that you do consider women people. You wallow in the struggles you face as a man but I've never seen you comment on anything positive or encouraging toward women or really any issue that women face. If you want to direct me to a thread where you have, I'm open to reading it. Show me where I can find that thread. As for how many threads I've turned into "women's plight", that's utter nonsense but if you want to go on to believe that, you can. It's no skin off my back. Once again you know nothing about me and what you say about me is far from the truth but keep on making these assinine assumptions if you must
Disenchantedly Yours Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 Show me a thread PJKino.. show me a thread that expresses how you see women as people. It should be easy if what you're telling me is true.
PJKino Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 Show me a thread PJKino.. show me a thread that expresses how you see women as people. It should be easy if what you're telling me is true. lol show me a thread where i treat women like people? wtf does that even mean:laugh: Show me a thread where you talk about a mans plight as oppsoed to women then:laugh: On forums people post their problems and vent,they dont post about other people or others genders problems AS i said if you aks any women in my social circle shed tell you im a great guy which means more to me then some oonline handle telling me i dont look at women as human beings:laugh:
AHardDaysNight Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 People all act differently. Therefore, women would act all differently, if they were people. Are they people, PJKino?
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