Signs of a female cheater.

[Osiris1234]

In June, researchers at Indiana University found that women cheat almost as much as men do, with 23 percent of men and 19 percent of women admitting to unfaithfulness. Yet, the reasons women and men cheat are often different, with women being more emotionally driven. You've got to think like a lady to catch one in the act—or stop the act from happening in the first place. Watch for these signs confirmed by real women who've strayed and men who've been cuckolded

 

 

Sign No. 1

She accuses her man of cheating. This common sign is an attempt to divert the guilt away from herself, and to project her dishonest behavior onto her partner. "My girlfriend of three years all of a sudden started questioning my every move," says Mark, 28. "Turned out she had slept with another guy." Also, if a woman knows that her guy has been unfaithful––or that he's broken her trust in a big way—then she may be tempted to do the same. While she may not be willing to throw away a marriage over it, a wounded woman may give herself permission to even the score.

 

 

Sign No. 2

She starts dolling herself up. If a woman suddenly starts taking hours to get ready for places like the gym or the grocery store, then there may be someone she's trying to impress. "I typically showed up for my business school classes in sweats, no makeup, hair in a bun. I had a boyfriend; what did I care?" say Sara, 27. "Then I developed a crush on a guy in one of my classes. Soon enough, I was spending an hour to get ready for school, swapping my ratty sweats for cute dresses." Of course, a crush doesn’t always lead to cheating, but this may be a sign that the emotional motivation is there.

 

 

Sign No. 3

She tells her husband she needs space. Some couples use a separation period to save their marriages, but it should be a mutual decision made by both partners for the specific purpose of working things out. A woman thinking about straying, on the other hand, may ask for some time away from her partner without a solid explanation. "My ex told me she needed some space, then went off to hook up with someone else," says Jeff, 29.

 

 

Sign No. 4

She drops hints that she's not happy. Comments about needing more romance or feeling unsure of a future with her current partner may sound like empty threats. But a woman who says these things may decide that if her guy doesn't start giving her what she needs, then she's going to find someone who will. "I'm one of those women who craves romance, cuddling, flowers, love notes, the whole shebang," says Leslie, 39. "I've reminded him that there are other fish in the sea. No change. So when a guy in my office started paying all sorts of attention to me, I went with it."

 

 

Sign No. 5

She has a new BFF her partner has never met. For starters, this new "friend" may not even be a girl at all. The friend could also be a single gal pal looking for a wing woman… and sometimes a woman is all too eager to go along for the ride. "After living together for three years, I knew the relationship was over when my ex started spending all of her free time––and all of the time we had to spend together––going to the clubs with a woman she met in her spin class," says Chris, 27. While this may not mean she's cheating (yet!), she's still dipping her toe into the singles pool.

 

 

Sign No. 6

She changes her plans… at midnight. If she consistently ends up staying out all night, then it's time to question her loyalty. "I told my boyfriend I was going out for drinks with a colleague and would meet up with him later in the night," Sara says. "Then a guy I had a crush on from work showed up. Hours later, I called my boyfriend to say I was 'too drunk' and needed to sleep at my friend's apartment; then I went home with the guy."

 

 

Sign No. 7

Someone else thinks she's cheating. "I knew someone who had firsthand knowledge my girlfriend was cheating," Mark says. "But I believed her when she said it was a lie, because nobody wants to believe the worst, no matter how obvious it may be." While we love a man who stands by his woman, if other people—like a her spouse's friends, or even complete strangers—flat-out tell him that his lady is cheating, then she most likely is.

 

 

Sign No. 8

She has a sudden increased interest in her partner's whereabouts. A woman carrying on an affair needs to cover her bases. If she starts wanting to know her man's plans for the day, especially when she's supposedly at work or otherwise busy, then she could be making plans of her own. "My ex-husband was an electrician, and his work schedule was different from day to day. Sometimes he would be home at noon, sometimes not till 8 at night,” says Rachel, 36. “When I planned to meet up with my fling, I would always call him in the morning to see where he was going to be later that day.”

 

 

Sign No. 9

She gives excuses to not have sex. Once women start to check out of a relationship, they tend to be less sexually attracted to their partners. "We stopped sleeping together because she didn't 'feel as close to me' as she used to," Mark says of his ex. "I'm assuming now that this was because she was feeling closer to the other guy's naked body." If every time her guy start to make moves, she makes excuses—she’s too full, too tired or too bloated—and if she's not being intimate with her partner, then chances are she may be sleeping with someone else.

 

 

Sign No. 10

She’s checked out. If another man is meeting a woman’s emotional needs, then she will lose her enthusiasm in her current relationship, even when it comes to things like arguing. "After being married for five years, our screaming and fighting faded into a general tolerance for one another," says Jen, 30, of her and her husband. "I was tempted to cheat on a few occasions and even took a guy's phone number. I was desperate for a little excitement."

[Ginger Beer]

Women cheat more than men though. I don't like the opening sentence of that article.

 

I'll get bashed for saying that now but it's funny how they can print 'women cheat almost as much as men'.

[Osiris1234]

Women cheat more than men though. I don't like the opening sentence of that article.

 

I'll get bashed for saying that now but it's funny how they can print 'women cheat almost as much as men'.

 

 

No your right. There was another study taken where they said women actually cheat more then men but the reason it is so low with women is because they keep it hidden really well unlike guys who like to brag about it and feel guilty about it and end up confessing.

[Ginger Beer]

No your right. There was another study taken where they said women actually cheat more then men but the reason it is so low with women is because they keep it hidden really well unlike guys who like to brag about it and feel guilty about it and end up confessing.

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1211104/Think-men-unfaithful-sex-A-study-shows-WOMEN-biggest-cheats--theyre-just-better-lying-it.html

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1033083/A-British-women-admit-slept-TWO-men-holiday.html

 

Take it with a pinch of salt as it's the Daily Mail but these may be the studies you're referring to.

Edited September 11, 2011 by Ginger Beer

[Casablanca]

There are more women on earth, so shouldnt they technically cheat more? I'd guess if it was as easy for men to get laid like it is women, that the numbers would be pretty much equal...though I doubt they arent far different

[Osiris1234]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1211104/Think-men-unfaithful-sex-A-study-shows-WOMEN-biggest-cheats--theyre-just-better-lying-it.html

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1033083/A-British-women-admit-slept-TWO-men-holiday.html

 

Take it with a pinch of salt as it's the Daily Mail but these may be the studies you're referring to.

 

 

 

Yeah those were the two, glad im not living in Britain.

[Shaun-Dro]

There are more women on earth, so shouldnt they technically cheat more? I'd guess if it was as easy for men to get laid like it is women, that the numbers would be pretty much equal...though I doubt they arent far different

 

Reasons like this is why women shouldn't have the freedom they're getting nowadays: they just can't be trusted.

[stillafool]

Reasons like this is why women shouldn't have the freedom they're getting nowadays: they just can't be trusted.

 

Are you for real?

[phineas]

Ok, well this is spot on when it came to my ex-wife.

She was cheating.

 

But I really didn't need this list.

I just needed to listen to my gut. Which I didn't.

 

how about a study to root out a cheater before you waste your time on them?

Now that would be gold.

[Osiris1234]

Reasons like this is why women shouldn't have the freedom they're getting nowadays: they just can't be trusted.

 

Relax dude, its just cheating, its not like its causing the end of the world.

 

 

I'd guess if it was as easy for men to get laid like it is women, that the numbers would be pretty much equal

 

I agree 110%. They would do it because they would have the opportunity. I don't think a lot of girls realize just how easy they have it (unless they are huge land whales or ugly). Women are the gatekeepers or relationships and sex, if you leave the door open many people will opts to walk through. Men on the other hand have to go door to door asking if the gatekeeper will let them through and the majority deny their request.

 

Most women don't ever think of themselves as 'cheating'. They might have sex with other guys, but they will always find a way to twist it so that it doesn't count as cheating.

 

Statistic say that men cheat more then women because women will go to any length to deny that they cheated

[coolheadal]

Very good post #1 from OP my cheating wife did all of that, and I will hate her no matter what she tells me. I did leave her and drove over 1,489 miles away from her cheating behind. Since I've been gone and moved back into my own house. She lost her house to the bank and now lives in 2 BD townhouse with our other dog. She was awful wife and wouldn't have made a good mother either. Today she calls me and text me for things she needs help with. At first I did help her but now I am not even talking to her or text either. Let her new boy toy or lover do more than just what he's giving her. I will not help her and I am starting to drop her off my insurance, club membership an etc.. So now she'll have more expenses to deal with. She can rot!

 

Here I am today in my own paid up home with my other dog and me. House is empty but at least I can say I am free and happy!

[Quiet Storm]

I also think that there are personality traits, before she cheats, that men should pay attention to as well.

 

The biggest one is the need for outside validation, primarily from men. These women are usually very outgoing and flirty, hugging their male friends all the time, putting themselves in situations where they get a lot of male attention. Faithful women want attention from their man, cheating women seek attention from any man.

 

There are many ways women do this. It can be revealing clothes, sex talk, touching, TMI. We all know the woman at work that makes a comment about how wild she is in bed, and then does the sideways glance to see what men are listening. Or how the underwire in her bra just broke and is stabbing her in the armpit. These chicks don't just want a man's attention in that moment. They want to be on his mind later, too. They plant seeds.

 

Many times, men who are not naturally outgoing will end up with these women, because they don't have to put any effort into pursuing her. She will be the one initiating the conversations, and this is often a relief to a man who is nervous about meeting women. What he doesn't realize it that she is like this with all men, he is not special. When he marries her and has to work every day, she'll feel neglected and look elsewhere to fill her need for male attention and validation. She'll be the wife that is hugging all his friends at parties, it will bother him but he'll tell himself it's just her friendly personality.

 

A woman that doesn't have many female friends is also a red flag, because women don't trust her around their men. She will say that women don't like her because they're jealous of her looks, or that she just gets along better with men. But usually it's just that other women see how she is and stay clear.

 

Another flag is someone that is very dramatic. Like a girl that is very jealous or controlling. These women will try to bully men into submission with their drama and tears. When he doesn't meet her never ending expectations, she will sometimes cheat on him or openly flirt with other men as revenge.

[dasein]

I also think that there are personality traits, before she cheats, that men should pay attention to as well.

 

The biggest one is the need for outside validation, primarily from men. These women are usually very outgoing and flirty, hugging their male friends all the time, putting themselves in situations where they get a lot of male attention. Faithful women want attention from their man, cheating women seek attention from any man.

 

There are many ways women do this. It can be revealing clothes, sex talk, touching, TMI. We all know the woman at work that makes a comment about how wild she is in bed, and then does the sideways glance to see what men are listening. Or how the underwire in her bra just broke and is stabbing her in the armpit. These chicks don't just want a man's attention in that moment. They want to be on his mind later, too. They plant seeds.

 

Many times, men who are not naturally outgoing will end up with these women, because they don't have to put any effort into pursuing her. She will be the one initiating the conversations, and this is often a relief to a man who is nervous about meeting women. What he doesn't realize it that she is like this with all men, he is not special. When he marries her and has to work every day, she'll feel neglected and look elsewhere to fill her need for male attention and validation. She'll be the wife that is hugging all his friends at parties, it will bother him but he'll tell himself it's just her friendly personality.

 

A woman that doesn't have many female friends is also a red flag, because women don't trust her around their men. She will say that women don't like her because they're jealous of her looks, or that she just gets along better with men. But usually it's just that other women see how she is and stay clear.

 

Another flag is someone that is very dramatic. Like a girl that is very jealous or controlling. These women will try to bully men into submission with their drama and tears. When he doesn't meet her never ending expectations, she will sometimes cheat on him or openly flirt with other men as revenge.

 

Excellent post +1

[OnyxSnowfall]

 

A woman that doesn't have many female friends is also a red flag, because women don't trust her around their men. She will say that women don't like her because they're jealous of her looks, or that she just gets along better with men. But usually it's just that other women see how she is and stay clear.

 

Hmm, I think it's more accurately an indicator of someone with their own trust/insecurity issues.

 

As in, "their" female "friends" have slept with their men and they are cautious of it recurring. In the past, my two closest female friends (of 3 & 8 years) cheated with two of my boyfriends (less close ones did too! But with another guy altogether... he slept with as many of my female "friends" as he could [6 agreed...! that I know of heh...])... and a female relative made advances on my most recent ex (while we were together), lol.

 

I don't know what's sacred anymore, and it's not because I'm projecting. I've met a few females who've also told me they don't trust other females because they've been burned too much before... "not" because they're doing the burning... we commiserated together but ultimately we were all too wary of getting closer anyway

 

Alas, I *don't* have female friends right now, and it's not because they have some kind of mystical radar that tells them I'm going to try to get their men in bed. It's because *I* don't trust them and bow out of interacting with them, beyond impersonal relations that is.

 

(also, edit in: )

 

Sign No. 1

She accuses her man of cheating. This common sign is an attempt to divert the guilt away from herself, and to project her dishonest behavior onto her partner.

 

Statistics are not going to be confirmed either way... so I don't know what's truly more common, but at least sometimes, people just have "prior" baggage.

The quote, "Suspicion haunts the guilty mind", is not always true... and not necessarily commonly true. People "learn" not to "trust" others freely (some do anyway).

Edited September 12, 2011 by OnyxSnowfall

[Ginger Beer]

I also think that there are personality traits, before she cheats, that men should pay attention to as well.

 

The biggest one is the need for outside validation, primarily from men. These women are usually very outgoing and flirty, hugging their male friends all the time, putting themselves in situations where they get a lot of male attention. Faithful women want attention from their man, cheating women seek attention from any man.

 

There are many ways women do this. It can be revealing clothes, sex talk, touching, TMI. We all know the woman at work that makes a comment about how wild she is in bed, and then does the sideways glance to see what men are listening. Or how the underwire in her bra just broke and is stabbing her in the armpit. These chicks don't just want a man's attention in that moment. They want to be on his mind later, too. They plant seeds.

 

Many times, men who are not naturally outgoing will end up with these women, because they don't have to put any effort into pursuing her. She will be the one initiating the conversations, and this is often a relief to a man who is nervous about meeting women. What he doesn't realize it that she is like this with all men, he is not special. When he marries her and has to work every day, she'll feel neglected and look elsewhere to fill her need for male attention and validation. She'll be the wife that is hugging all his friends at parties, it will bother him but he'll tell himself it's just her friendly personality.

 

A woman that doesn't have many female friends is also a red flag, because women don't trust her around their men. She will say that women don't like her because they're jealous of her looks, or that she just gets along better with men. But usually it's just that other women see how she is and stay clear.

 

Another flag is someone that is very dramatic. Like a girl that is very jealous or controlling. These women will try to bully men into submission with their drama and tears. When he doesn't meet her never ending expectations, she will sometimes cheat on him or openly flirt with other men as revenge.

 

Brilliant post. 5*.

 

The highlighted bit in particular is present in the vast majority of night club women/party goers which is why I don't think a man should date a woman who goes there.

[Woman In Blue]

There was a time when the incidence of cheating was extremely low amongst women. Men have always been notorious for looking for cheap thrills on the side, and it would appear that women are finally catching up to them, is all.

 

You're all grousing about the horrible cheating women out there, but the men STILL outnumber the women. Where's your horror at THAT? Where's your horror at 50 years ago when women stayed home like good little slaves while Mr. Romeo was out getting his wick dipped? Where's your indignation about THAT, boys?

 

That'll be a cold day in hell when women outnumber cheating men. Most men would screw a knothole in a fence if they were sure the neighbors wouldn't see and they wouldnt get splinters from it. I'm laughing my ass off at this ridiculous thread where you're all suddenly trying to paint MEN as saints. As IF.

 

And lastly, the Daily Mail is HARDLY an authority to be taken as gospel. Jesus.

[Ginger Beer]

There was a time when the incidence of cheating was extremely low amongst women. Men have always been notorious for looking for cheap thrills on the side, and it would appear that women are finally catching up to them, is all.

 

You're all grousing about the horrible cheating women out there, but the men STILL outnumber the women. Where's your horror at THAT? Where's your horror at 50 years ago when women stayed home like good little slaves while Mr. Romeo was out getting his wick dipped? Where's your indignation about THAT, boys?

 

That'll be a cold day in hell when women outnumber cheating men. Most men would screw a knothole in a fence if they were sure the neighbors wouldn't see and they wouldnt get splinters from it. I'm laughing my ass off at this ridiculous thread where you're all suddenly trying to paint MEN as saints. As IF.

 

And lastly, the Daily Mail is HARDLY an authority to be taken as gospel. Jesus.

 

Err, I do believe I said that, if you read properly.

 

And as for the other highlighted bit, where is your proof? Men don't outnumber cheating women, certainly not in my age group anyway (18-25).

 

Proof: Look at the number of threads in here (cheating subforum) started by women who cheated and men who were cheated on by women.

[OnyxSnowfall]

Proof: Look at the number of threads in here (cheating subforum) started by women who cheated and men who were cheated on by women.

 

That is not "proof"... for so many reasons. Let me highlight a couple.

 

1) This is one forum of many. It is possible that women are more prone to seeking help/advice than men are in general, and so "look" like they outnumber men here (and again, this is just one forum of many anyway...).

 

2) And finally, it is impossible to know how many people do NOT declare their behaviors on any public medium and of the ones that ARE declared through such mediums, it is impossible to verify if they are all true (it may be possible to but it would take a really disturbed person to go through the time/effort). Sometimes men pretend to be women and vice versa and apparently, sometimes people get something out of creating false stories etc.

[Ginger Beer]

If it's not proof, it's a good indication.

[Woggle]

Out of all my friends I barely any men that cheat. I knew quite a few who prefer to play around and have sex with many different woman over a committed life but at least they are honest about it. I know very few who are using a devoted woman for security while they out and bang the bad girl.

[Ginger Beer]

Out of all my friends I barely any men that cheat. I knew quite a few who prefer to play around and have sex with many different woman over a committed life but at least they are honest about it. I know very few who are using a devoted woman for security while they out and bang the bad girl.

 

One of my best friends cheats on his long term girlfriend all the time. He's probably cheated with more than 5 women. He's got a child with her, too. Another one of my friends slept with an older woman while his gf was away.

 

My group of friends is very small, there are only about 8 or 9 male friends I have and of those, only the two I mentioned have girlfriends. It does happen.

 

But out of all the girls I know, which is around 15-20, admittedly not as close, over half have cheated and most if not all have danced with other men in night clubs.

[coolheadal]

Well those guys are cheaters.. I don't cheat and never believe in it and don't see any point in doing so. When I had found out that my s-wife cheated she ended what we have forever. I felt like going after the guy but you know doesn't make sense for me to loose it for her to say something stupid about it, like whatever. Her dad was a player and cheater, her two older brothers are players and cheaters too. 15 kids and 7 of them are players and cheaters like the dad is. This is both women and men on her side. D-Rate is higher with them though. So it doesn't phase them if they do cheat it's like a game to them. They brag about it too!

[dasein]

but the men STILL outnumber the women. Where's your horror at THAT?

 

Prove it, I think you are wrong, I think women are cheating more in exclusive relationships not including marriage today, and that marriage is about even, that this has been the case for some decades, and also think that studies are still slanted against men and for women for the purpose of concealing more female cheating. Studies that knock chips out of the women's victimization foundation generally aren't welcome today, if they are even publicized or see the light of day.

 

But what really burns me about posts like yours is you, as so many women here and elsewhere, simply refuse to take any discussion of women's role in bad gender relations at face value. A thread about female cheating is not an invitation to whine and moan about male cheating. If you want to start such a thread, go right ahead, this one isn't it.

[carhill]

Excellent post +1

Excellent post +2. This describes nearly all of the MW's I've experienced to a T, even the ones who haven't cheated with me (didn't meet their 'standards') but cheated with other men.

 

ETA, if someone wants to start a thread on signs of a male cheater, I'll be happy to add comments from that side of the fence.

 

I do have some data points with multi-cheating, simply because of OM experiences with women who were having an EA with me and describing their PA's with other men to me.

 

Lastly, until finding LS and reading threads on infidelity here, I was unaware of how many married people had affairs with other married people. Nearly all the MW's I've known have had single lovers or receptacles. It was an eye-opener.

Edited September 13, 2011 by carhill

[Ginger Beer]

Prove it, I think you are wrong, I think women are cheating more in exclusive relationships not including marriage today, and that marriage is about even, that this has been the case for some decades, and also think that studies are still slanted against men and for women for the purpose of concealing more female cheating. Studies that knock chips out of the women's victimization foundation generally aren't welcome today, if they are even publicized or see the light of day.

 

But what really burns me about posts like yours is you, as so many women here and elsewhere, simply refuse to take any discussion of women's role in bad gender relations at face value. A thread about female cheating is not an invitation to whine and moan about male cheating. If you want to start such a thread, go right ahead, this one isn't it.

 

Nail on head.