duckrepair Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 (edited) ...Since I'm just wondering if this has some new unspoken meaning that I'm not aware of.. Back in my younger day, I didn't hear much about this cuddling business. We did it, but I don't ever recall meeting a guy and him asking to cuddle.. I bring this up, because I've met 2 guys this past month. One invited me over to cuddle. And the second guy offered to come cuddle me... So what's this deal about cuddling--is it a new fad to be with someone and not have sex or... is it a cloak and just there to set up for potential sex? Can I assume a guy has any romantic interest in me by asking this or is it just a placeholder ? Edited September 11, 2011 by duckrepair
phineas Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 Do they want to go shoe shopping with you also? I have never in my life known a male friend to actually use cuddling as a gateway to sex. Or at least admit it in a non joking way. If a woman wants me to cuddle she better be having sex with me. I'm not a cuddle bitch. cuddling is an intimate activity as far as i'm concerned.
dasein Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 It's a sneaky way for wormy boys to try for some cheap leg or establish a FWB deal. Unlike phineas, I have actually heard of this kind of thing from female friends who find the suggestion revolting to their credit. None of my male friends would ever admit to something like this, though who knows, I recently had a friend admit that he cries around women at opportune moments to get sex. LOL.
soulm8 Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 ...Since I'm just wondering if this has some new unspoken meaning that I'm not aware of.. Back in my younger day, I didn't hear much about this cuddling business. We did it, but I don't ever recall meeting a guy and him asking to cuddle.. I bring this up, because I've met 2 guys this past month. One invited me over to cuddle. And the second guy offered to come cuddle me... So what's this deal about cuddling--is it a new fad to be with someone and not have sex or... is it a cloak and just there to set up for potential sex? Can I assume a guy has any romantic interest in me by asking this or is it just a placeholder ? I think it's safe to assume they are hoping for a hookup. They want to make out and see if they can manage to turn you on enough to get naked.
Kamille Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 Does it matter what they mean? I have a rule that I never get myself in an ambiguous situation. Going back to a guy's place to "cuddle" is getting yourself into an ambiguous situation where you are likely to have to defend yourself against their advances. Just don't take the bait, if it is bait, and see how the rest of the relationship evolves.
Author duckrepair Posted September 11, 2011 Author Posted September 11, 2011 (edited) Well, I quaintly liked the idea. But I dont want to be a cuddlewh*re. And I definitely don't want to be FWB. One of the two, I'm not sure of his particular motives. They're both flirty to me & call me cute names....compliment me. However, neither one has talked sexual, Sent nudes, requested nudes, et al. So far, pretty normal. I'll have to wait it out to see what happens. Edited September 11, 2011 by duckrepair
dasein Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 The quality men will ask you out to do some planned activity, not automatically try to get you in their bed or get in yours under whatever pretense. The best men will tell you outright in a polite way that they want you sexually and allow you to moderate, accept or deny their advances as you see fit.
todd Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 (edited) Are they virgins... Cuddling could be the limit they are willing to go with someone romantically until they are married. If they are sexually active, it could be an "in" to getting you comfortable in your or their bed before they try to go further. Its their attempt at opening a door to the idea of sex. It is a tool of creating comfort for a woman so she can let her guard down easier then if you outright said "lets have sex." In this situation even if she wanted to take it to that level, the way it came about makes it hard for her to agree because of the idea of coming off as a slut. If however, you invite them up for something innocent, and it happens to "evolve" into something more, then the woman can justify it to herself that it happened "naturally." Edited September 11, 2011 by todd
aliceinchains Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 Every guy wants sex, he just wants to use cuddling as a gateway to sex. Cuddling --> Make Out ---> Sex I wouldn't cuddle with a friends with benefit relationship. I believe cuddling is more for romantic relationships
Cypress25 Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 I've never had a guy ask if we could get together to cuddle. That's what happens if we're spending the night together or after having sex, but we don't plan it in advance. And we usually go out on some sort of date first, before going back to his place or mine for intimate activity. Cuddling doesn't have to be linked to sex (if you're watching TV together you might curl up next to each other), but it would be strange if "cuddling" was the focus of the date.
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