Whay do I do?

[lovedoeshurt]

I want to apologize first for the long post, but I want to get in as much information as possible.

 

My husband and I have been together for 18 years. We were slowly growing apart, and I felt like I was the only one trying to work on the marriage. I went to a friend that I have know for 25 years and really trusted to talk about my marriage. He has been married for over 30 years himself and highly respected in our community. He convinced me that I needed to leave the marriage so I can be happy again. My mother was also encouraging this as she has never liked my husband.

 

I left and my husband begged and pleaded for 3 months for me to come back. I finally filed for divorce and we had limited contact for about two months. The contact only had to do with our children. I eventually found out through my husband that in a heated conversation with this "friend" that he wanted more out of the relationship with me than being friends. When I confronted him about it, he admitted that he told my husband that. I told him to never contact me again, because I felt betrayed and mislead. He told me that I had already messed things up to much with my husband and I should not even try to get back with him, because I would only get hurt.

 

4 months ago, I went to my husband and asked if we could work on things. For a month, I thought everything was going well. Then one day I found out that during the 2 months of no contact he has joined an online dating service and had met someone, but he told me it wasn't serious. I have since found out that it is serious, even though he has not had any physical contact with this woman. They only talk through IM and email as she is in another country. I have very strong reasons to believe that this "romance" is a scam, but have no physical proof. My husband has told me that this other woman is the only thing that is holding him back from committing to me again.

 

Three weeks ago I was kicked out of the home I was living in. I have been looking for a job for the past year with no success, so I have no income other than $50 a week that I get paid in child support. My husband let me move back in with him until I can find somewhere else to go. I still love him dearly and hope that we can make things work, but I have been trying to give him some space. There are days that he acts like he did when we were still married and happy, and other days that he just ignores me completely. I try not to let the bad days get to me, but it is hard. He has been going out to the bars on the weekends, and I don't say anything to him about it. I just stay at home with the children.

 

Finally my question...What do I do to try to make things work with my husband? Moving out right now is out of the question. I just have no where else to go. I can not bear the thought of moving on. And if this other woman really is a scam, I feel like I just can't walk away. I have told him that I would not interfer with his communication with her in anyway, because I believe they will never meet. I have continued in the last couple of weeks to do wifely duties to show him that I appreciate him letting me stay here. Our divorce is going to be final in 32 days, because he has insisted to continue with the divorce.