irc333 Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 How about this, I was browsing the profile pics and had come across a picture of a woman who just had a body photo, with her head cropped out of it, noticed this a couple of times. The reason, because they want to play it safe. One stated that since her profession causes herself to be easily recognizable, she didn't want any face shots in her dating profile. Silly or is she just "playing it safe"?
Cee Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 I dated a college professor who did a slight distortion of his photo to make it unrecognizable to his students. It made perfect sense to me because it was on OK Cupid and I am certain the college kids were on there all the time. He disclosed certain preferences that were controversial so I'm sure he didn't want to gossiped about on campus. Btw, he turned out to be a high quality person, who had good personal boundaries. Although I would not have responded to his profile, if it was only a body shot. That seems creepy to me.
SierraRose Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 Although I would not have responded to his profile, if it was only a body shot. That seems creepy to me. DITTO! I don't respond to profiles with just body shots. FYI...A head cropped out could mean it's not even that person's body...
ThsAmericanLife Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 I really don't get people's paranoia about people who choose not to show pictures, or somehow hide their identity. Some people have very valid reasons for not disclosing their identity that have nothing to do with being 'creepy', lying, or anything else. I'm also easily recognized by my students. I also run a business and am well known in my community. Not to mention... I did not relish getting spammed by idiots saying 'uh... you're hot!!" All this paranoia does is exclude some of the 'best' people from wanting to be involved with OLD at all. If their only choice is to regurgitate personal details for public disclosure or not be involved at all. People post fake pictures all the time. Having pictures is no guarantee of honesty.
thatone Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 and i often wonder if those people wear a mask when they go to the grocery store. i see no difference in putting your pictures on a dating site and walking down the street.
ThsAmericanLife Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 and i often wonder if those people wear a mask when they go to the grocery store. i see no difference in putting your pictures on a dating site and walking down the street. People walking down the street aren't sharing personal details about their life. They can make an educated decision about what they decide to share or not share based on their perception of the person they meet IRL.
thatone Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 (edited) People walking down the street aren't sharing personal details about their life. They can make an educated decision about what they decide to share or not share based on their perception of the person they meet IRL. personal details like what? that you like to ride a bike instead of jog, or watch msnbc instead of fox news, or read trashy romance novels instead of current event books? i've never put anything on a dating site that i wouldn't say to a stranger i struck up conversation with in a bar. here's what this discussion reminds me of... there was a news story a few months back about a single mother in NYC who let her (7 or 8?) year old ride the subway and walk around the neighborhood running errands by himself. news reporters tried to turn this into a huge story about how neglectful and reckless the mother was, but the mother's reasoning was, every normal person who sees a kid alone is going to offer to help the kid if he needs it. and the kid will grow up to be a more confident and capable adult if he learns at a young age how to talk to, evaluate, and have contact with strangers in public. trying to hide her kid from the world would do more damage to the kid than anything else, and wouldn't protect him from some random psycho anyway. if an axe murderer decides to come after you it won't have anything to do with whether you talked to 10 other people earlier that day or not. if everyone acted that way there would be less random violence on the streets. if i go to the park and talk to 5 people who are sitting or walking around me, then no mugger is going to approach the 5 of us. they'll single out the one person who is so scared of everyone else that they keep their distance and walk around alone. Edited September 11, 2011 by thatone
Arikel Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 Different people have different comfort levels in various situations .. trying to reason someone out of their comfort zone just drives them further into it. When it comes to online dating, it seems simple enough - if you don't like it, don't hit it. There must be millions of people on dating sites .. just move on to someone else who shares the same philosophy as you do
ThsAmericanLife Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 i've never put anything on a dating site that i wouldn't say to a stranger i struck up conversation with in a bar.. Fair enough. In my world, most of my friends/family/business acquaintences find OLD kind of skeevy though. They look at me askance for even trying it. And after having tried it, I have to agree with them. It gives people access to a social circle they wouldn't normally have access to. In my world, that is not a good thing. I'm just not interested in giving my students something to tease me about. Even in a lighthearted way. Honestly... I'd prefer they assume I were gay, rather than dating OL. Unless their dad is single that is... I have some real sweetie's in my class. I've joked with my friends about asking some of them... hey, is your dad single?
Recommended Posts