domesticated male Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 Hi been reading other threads and thought id start my own Just so hard where to start, I did everything i work and earn good money, housework, cooking u name it i did for this relationship. i had background of hospitality background working with society for over 15 years for the past 2 years ive started a new career which i earn 2 twice as much money but the work is very physical. During the week i do the daily duties dinner etc but im not very social because how tired i am. on the weekend i do the house work and spend some time gaming. most my freinds are all in relationship except for the drugged up ones which i limit my time with. Ok after 7.5 years my gf left me, all she can take from the relation is great memories and clothes. Its only been a few days since she left me. Ok my gf She is unreal so loveable, pretty, cute etc. Smart as well. she has been studying because for a career change which is why i do everything and i give her time for herself to see her friends. her time at home is doing homework than at night home she watch her shows and drank she been drinking since i met her, everyday she would have 3-4 beers and a few glasses of wine, for the past 6 months she has been having dinner without me and having it later after she finish drinking. I have been very worried but i never put my foot down, she always has her way. because of the stress from uni she has had hair loss to help this so has been taking Spironolactone (hormones) on a unregular basis. With the stress from Uni/study and these conditions. The medication and alcohol, lack of exercise, and bad diet. Have had a major effect on her judgement/ perception and decision making skill. I will add more later im getting very upset writing this. But she left me because she thinks she dose not love me anymore, but for this year being her final year of uni, i have sort of just put the relationship on hold. she would sit in front of her computer for 12+hours which was very unhealthy and id try and take for walk etc. but she would get very angry and tell me no. So i try not to hassle her for sex and she started to sleep in her study room. which i just let her. It so hard to write everything that happens we have been overseas and had great hoildays and spent like 1 month together everyday and we love it, we work really well toghether that why i dont understand why she left the start of the year we were planing to have babies, buy house so much and shes going to throw it all away.
Dark Phoenix Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 The first thread describing the relationship is the hardest. Processing the relationship as a whole, incorporating cause and effect, finding blame in yourself, I remember it quite well. I hope you are sticking to NC right off the bat, it really does help tremendously in moving on/healing. Right now your emotions are what is driving you, I can tell just from your first post. Give it some time, preferably NC, and you will start thinking logically again. Whenever you need to vent, want an opinion, or feel like making contact with your ex just stop and post here on LS. Better days are coming, I promise.
czen Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 Indeed, just go NC, that will make it go easier. Also, just write everything off your chest and talk to people about it. That way you'll sooner come to grips with it. Just accept what you've lost and try to fully experience those feelings instead of surpressing them, otherwhise they'll just come back later to haunt you. Perhaps she will come back to you in the future, but that'll be her decision, you can't do much to get hr to make that decission. So just concentrate on yourself and the feelings you're having now. You probably feel like hell right now, and you will probably continue feeling so for a while, but like Dark Phoenix said, better days are definitely coming, it only takes time.
Author domesticated male Posted September 12, 2011 Author Posted September 12, 2011 oh god NC well ive broke that rule like 10 times over, i cant let her go, shes everything to me. my mates at work reckon to give her space and she will come back. but its so hard. ill try thanks, it so hard. i have girl's which i was friends before i met her do think it would be a bad idea to invite them over yet. i dont want sex i just want to hold someone and fell their warmth :( i should wait im just being insecure arnt I ?
Dark Phoenix Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 If your goal is to get her back then you wait until you know she has a boyfriend. Which is nearly impossible to find out when you are doing NC correctly, so use your better judgement on this one. NC is a tool that can be used in order to get an ex back, but like everything, it's not a guaranteed method. You've broken NC numerous times now, that's okay. Get back to No Contact and stick with it. If you feel like you are going to break it just come on here and make a thread about why you want to break it, getting the opinions of others really does help. Also indulge yourself in old hobbies, new interests, and focus on improving yourself.
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