Professor X Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 So if a girl is "hot" is she more prone to get the kind of men I have mentioned? Yeah, the hotter you are the more aggressive the men you attract. Sure, nerds will drool over you, but they won't make a move either. My ex' would tell me some crazy stories about how random people on the street would hit on her or do stuff to impress her, because she's hot (or because she has a big rack, who knows). Anyway, most guys are more immature than the ladies at the same age (at least from 14 to 25), you sound smart, so I'm sure you now this. So you should either look for someone older (not 30, but rather 24-26) or change the circle of people you hang with. Like mentioned before, a new hobby is great, or maybe go with a friend to new places you haven't been to. The idea is, go to places where you'd like your future guy to be at (i.e. you like to write? go to a book store or a library more often).
Ginger Beer Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 Yeah, the hotter you are the more aggressive the men you attract. Sure, nerds will drool over you, but they won't make a move either. My ex' would tell me some crazy stories about how random people on the street would hit on her or do stuff to impress her, because she's hot (or because she has a big rack, who knows). Anyway, most guys are more immature than the ladies at the same age (at least from 14 to 25), you sound smart, so I'm sure you now this. So you should either look for someone older (not 30, but rather 24-26) or change the circle of people you hang with. Like mentioned before, a new hobby is great, or maybe go with a friend to new places you haven't been to. The idea is, go to places where you'd like your future guy to be at (i.e. you like to write? go to a book store or a library more often). That's good advice.
Purelogic Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 ok let me get this strait.....hot and beauty has very little to do with the women......has more to do with how the men feel when they see you there chemical reaction to you...when your hot....the mn only see you as you are at the moment and they begin to feel sexual towards you....as defining that they are sexually attracted to you=hot beauty on the other hand most time can only come if you and the person have a similar emotional and physical attraction,which will most like ly happen with some one you know and not a random person. You can never refer to a person as beautifully until you know them and the way they make you feel being gorgeous on the other hand has to do more with attitude.
Author Tasha49 Posted September 11, 2011 Author Posted September 11, 2011 That's good advice. Agreed thanks guys. I go out to a clun with my girl friend every few weeks but only because she wants me to. And boy, let me tell ya... NEVER ever in my life would I meet a guy there. They're all really pervy lol. But that is a known I would hope. Definitely won't take a guy seriously at a party either. Most are there to get drunk and "funk" haha. I really don't know if I want to look right now. Maybe I should figure my life out first and if one comes along who sweeps me off my feet, then I should take it.
Author Tasha49 Posted September 11, 2011 Author Posted September 11, 2011 Oops sorry. I meant club not clun. I type too fast on my iPhone
Ginger Beer Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 ok let me get this strait.....hot and beauty has very little to do with the women......has more to do with how the men feel when they see you there chemical reaction to you...when your hot....the mn only see you as you are at the moment and they begin to feel sexual towards you....as defining that they are sexually attracted to you=hot beauty on the other hand most time can only come if you and the person have a similar emotional and physical attraction,which will most like ly happen with some one you know and not a random person. You can never refer to a person as beautifully until you know them and the way they make you feel being gorgeous on the other hand has to do more with attitude. And why do they feel sexual towards you? Because you're provocatively dressed. You can call someone beautiful based purely on appearance. A woman wearing jeans and a jumper is not going to be called hot, 9 times out of 10, but she can be called beautiful. Conversely, a woman at the beach in a bikini isn't going to be called beautiful because she's showing too much off so it's going to arouse men more, thus they'll call her 'hot' instead.
Purelogic Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 And why do they feel sexual towards you? Because you're provocatively dressed. You can call someone beautiful based purely on appearance. A woman wearing jeans and a jumper is not going to be called hot, 9 times out of 10, but she can be called beautiful. Conversely, a woman at the beach in a bikini isn't going to be called beautiful because she's showing too much off so it's going to arouse men more, thus they'll call her 'hot' instead. Well i beg to differ but to each his own..its just beauty is not defined as something physical......and its not about the cloths being hot is not about mainly the women but about how she makes you feel.....the women could be as good looking as Jessica Simpson....if you not attracted to her...she not hot to you...simple as that. well to me at least.
Author Tasha49 Posted September 11, 2011 Author Posted September 11, 2011 And why do they feel sexual towards you? Because you're provocatively dressed. You can call someone beautiful based purely on appearance. A woman wearing jeans and a jumper is not going to be called hot, 9 times out of 10, but she can be called beautiful. Conversely, a woman at the beach in a bikini isn't going to be called beautiful because she's showing too much off so it's going to arouse men more, thus they'll call her 'hot' instead. I agree with the Beer man The way a girl dresses has a LOT to do with how she is viewed. Most of the time at least. Take someone like Pamela Anderson in Baywatch. 90% of people would refer to her as hot. Why? Because you could see a lot of her body parts exposed. I doubt many would have called her beautiful back in the days. A girl walking down the street in some jeans and a cute sweater would more likely be viewed as pretty rather than hot, since she is covered. You would assume so, would you not? Take a girl jogging on the sidewalk in a sports bra and tight yoga pants with really nice abs and a round firm but. What would she be? Hot or beautiful? Probably hot. Thus being sexually attractive since she is more exposed.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 Not in the face, but how you dress definitely does. Appearance is the first thing you notice. I didn't think about dressing but you are right..the way you dress does send a message.
somedude81 Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 Didn't you ask me to marry you a while ago? When's the date for that? So I am not really looking to date. I just got out of a crappy situation with a guy for the last year and a half. I am open to the idea of eventually finding someone but I definitely don't want to look for them. Maybe when one finds me and he seems decent, I will give it a go. But here is the problem: First of all, what do you want? 80% of the men who show interest in me end up wanting to sleep with me within a matter of hours. Or when I talk with them they make stupid comments about perverted stuff and act like they are kidding but I can sense the seriousness in the back of their minds and a slight glimpse in their eyes. Most men I come across wantto hook up with me. I hate it! What happened to getting to know a person first? Is life just all about sex now? I really hate it. Heh, sounds like the complete opposite of me. I'm so bad at showing sexual interst, most of the girls I went on dates with, had no idea I was interested in them. Honestly, I much prefer to get to know somebody before I consider sleeping with them. I believe that there is a reason why the word friend is in girlfriend and boyfriend. But I've been told that I move far too slow and that's why women keep friend-zoning me. Apparently, my biggest problem is that I'm trying to find a girlfriend and not trying to sleep with random girls. I am 21 and have the mind frame of a much older, mature woman. Well, in the sense of needs. I hate partying. All everyone does is get drunk and skip from one person to the other in hopes that eventually one will put out. I know how to have a good time and am social at parties but still it is not my scene. All men want to do is hook up with me cause they think I am hot. So I really don't want to date a partier. But it seems like that is all I ever come across. I hate hook-ups. I never understood how people enjoy sleeping with people they don't even know. I just want to sleep with somebody I know and love. But nowadays the men I come across just don't want that. I want monogamy. I want seriousness. I party on occasion but it's not something I do regularly. I've just never been that guy. I have no interest in random hookups. I don't see any point in adding more to just to increase my numbers. I'm just reluctant to get out and date again when all the guys I meet want to take me to the bed within hours. Is finding a guy who ISN'T like that impossible for my age?What you are looking for is atypical for men your age. You need to start looking at men who are older and more mature.
Dust Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 Oh yeah you’re somedudes girl. Perfect age to he loves the 21 year old girls looking for a more mature relationship. (if that’s code word for older men) He also has a real appreciation for little jewels like two different colored eyes. (very anime actually) I say he flies you out to CA and seduces you and rekindles your faith in man kind through his love making.
counterman Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 I'm not really into the party scene myself and don't really like to meet party girls. When I do party, I have heaps of fun and I understand how people can get into it. That feeling can be quite addictive and I've come close to going down that party of clubbing every week. BUT, it's just not me. Don't lose faith, keep believing that you'll find someone that's right for you because we are out there. I like how you are mature beyond your years and want something serious, rather than just hook ups. I recently met a girl who's very intelligent but she's just started really experiencing dating. Things didn't end well in her last relationship; she found out the guy she was seeing was sleeping with other girls. I'm wondering how many times she'll get burned until she realises there's maybe those types of guys aren't right for her. I'm glad you know it now at 21.
rafallus Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 (edited) So I am not really looking to date. I just got out of a crappy situation with a guy for the last year and a half. I am open to the idea of eventually finding someone but I definitely don't want to look for them. Maybe when one finds me and he seems decent, I will give it a go. But here is the problem: 80% of the men who show interest in me end up wanting to sleep with me within a matter of hours. Or when I talk with them they make stupid comments about perverted stuff and act like they are kidding but I can sense the seriousness in the back of their minds and a slight glimpse in their eyes. Most men I come across wantto hook up with me. I hate it! What happened to getting to know a person first? Is life just all about sex now? I really hate it. I am 21 and have the mind frame of a much older, mature woman. Well, in the sense of needs. I hate partying. All everyone does is get drunk and skip from one person to the other in hopes that eventually one will put out. I know how to have a good time and am social at parties but still it is not my scene. All men want to do is hook up with me cause they think I am hot. So I really don't want to date a partier. But it seems like that is all I ever come across. I hate hook-ups. I never understood how people enjoy sleeping with people they don't even know. I just want to sleep with somebody I know and love. But nowadays the men I come across just don't want that. I want monogamy. I want seriousness. I'm just reluctant to get out and date again when all the guys I meet want to take me to the bed within hours. Is finding a guy who ISN'T like that impossible for my age? 1. You are 21, guys around that age for the most part aren't LTR prospects at all. 2. Newsflash: If you are at least reasonably attractive woman (you are), 99% of straight guys in the world WILL want to have sex with you, no matter, how well they hide it. Difference is, some will make you want to as well. And why do they feel sexual towards you? Because you're provocatively dressed. No. Even, if girl isn't very provocatively dressed, if attractive, male's imagination will do the rest. It does all the time for myself. Edited September 11, 2011 by rafallus
Andy_K Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 As rafallus said, if you're attractive, 99% of straight guys out there WILL want to have sex with you, even the ones who are looking for a LTR. It's perfectly possible for a guy to want to get to know you *and* want to have sex with you. There's no mutual exclusivity in our world. Ultimately, what you'll end up with is a guy who's willing to pretend he's also interested in getting to know you first. Whilst this will probably increase your odds of the guy being after an LTR as opposed to just sex, it also potentially trains guys not to be honest with you.
HeavenOrHell Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 I admire the fact you want a r/ship which means something, sleeping with strangers has never appealed to me either, I want to make love with someone because of who they are, I don't want random sex with a stranger, it's like having sex with a body and not a mind. Have you tried other places to meet men? Parties/clubs are the places a person is least likely to meet someone who wants more than a one night stand. Most of my partners I've met through joining clubs for people with my interests. Good luck, I'm sure you'll find the right person in time So I am not really looking to date. I just got out of a crappy situation with a guy for the last year and a half. I am open to the idea of eventually finding someone but I definitely don't want to look for them. Maybe when one finds me and he seems decent, I will give it a go. But here is the problem: 80% of the men who show interest in me end up wanting to sleep with me within a matter of hours. Or when I talk with them they make stupid comments about perverted stuff and act like they are kidding but I can sense the seriousness in the back of their minds and a slight glimpse in their eyes. Most men I come across wantto hook up with me. I hate it! What happened to getting to know a person first? Is life just all about sex now? I really hate it. I am 21 and have the mind frame of a much older, mature woman. Well, in the sense of needs. I hate partying. All everyone does is get drunk and skip from one person to the other in hopes that eventually one will put out. I know how to have a good time and am social at parties but still it is not my scene. All men want to do is hook up with me cause they think I am hot. So I really don't want to date a partier. But it seems like that is all I ever come across. I hate hook-ups. I never understood how people enjoy sleeping with people they don't even know. I just want to sleep with somebody I know and love. But nowadays the men I come across just don't want that. I want monogamy. I want seriousness. I'm just reluctant to get out and date again when all the guys I meet want to take me to the bed within hours. Is finding a guy who ISN'T like that impossible for my age?
Casablanca Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 Wow, how original, a man bashing thread...what next, a man posting a woman bashing thread... If you want to bitch and complain about a few specific men, that is fine, but dont go generalizing the whole gender I could easily change a few things about your post and apply that to my situation with women...that is how similar it is for both sexes You might want to find another pool to find men...if you keep fishing from the same pond, dont be shocked when you keep catching the same type of fish I dont know anything about you to really say this about you, but I know a few female friends that all they do is bitch about how crappy men are, but all they do is go for the guys who look like they could be on Jersey shore and then they are SHOCKED when that guy acts like someone from Jersey Shore and the girls never or rarely give guys like me a chance (cute guys who arent smoking hot)...it always makes me chuckle.
dasein Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 Wow, how original, a man bashing thread...what next, a man posting a woman bashing thread... Agree in substance, but eh, who cares, if the generalization doesn't apply to us as individuals, so what? Too much is made of generalizations here, it's a dating board, there will be generalizations. OP, best wishes in finding a man of quality for yourself, but do want to press you some, would you prefer a man who approaches you as a friend, though he is actually sexually attracted? or a man who is upfront about his sexual attraction from the start? Not talking about the rude, immature ones of course. Learn to like men who express an honest polite sexual interest in you, as those are the good ones, not the passive aggressive creepers who try to sneak in the back door. As others have said, it's a fact that we all want to have sex with all of you. Try to learn to appreciate that men want to have sex with you and proposition you openly in a polite, mature way, it is the source of your power. Know also that lots of guys do this not as a creepy perv, but in the equivalent of "showing off," what used to be called hair-pulling or slap and tickle. If you can view the less rude approaches in that light, and even be flattered by it, you will have a happier dating life. Just ignore the rude ones. And just to note, there are "shock troop" posters, all women, in this forum who stomp around and shriek loudly in tantrums proclaiming that they will not tolerate stereotyping or generalizations OF ANY KIND, regardless of what group it targets, and use this as a thin veneer over their real, transparent reason for posting, to bash male posters and evade the TOS in an obnoxious and self-righteous way. In short to display their inner ugliness and misandry while avoiding moderation. Note that they are absent entirely from this thread. Where are they? and the more important question, despite that their absence shows what liars they are, isn't it nice that they aren't in here dropping their usual turd bombs in the thread? If OP were a male, he would have been called a misogynist, bitter, hateful, hurtful, maybe even sociopath, waste of skin, unfit for any woman, unable to attract women, "dirty ass liar," etc. etc. It's nice to see the men here don't rave like that. Can only imagine their responses, "well I can't be expected to post to every thread, can I?" Transparent liars.
musemaj11 Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 For every woman who complains she cant find a man who is not a pervert, there is a man who complains that he cant find a woman who is not a gold digger. Women deal with men who want sex within the first four dates while men deal with women who want to be wined and dined for the first four dates. So, sorry ladies. Cry me a river but Im not sympathizing.
musemaj11 Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 I don't think looks has anything to do with the kind of men you attract. Yes it does for both men and women. Women who dress in skimpy outfits are more likely to attract perverts while men who dress in over the top fancy outfits are more likely to attract gold diggers.
Casablanca Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 Agree in substance, but eh, who cares, if the generalization doesn't apply to us as individuals, so what? Too much is made of generalizations here, it's a dating board, there will be generalizations. I'm just getting a little annoyed at this whole site at the moment, it seems to be more bitter right now than when I joined a few months ago...and it is coming from both sexes...these posters act like they are the first person to have dating problems.....it's threads like this or the "ladies why do you cheat more"....blah blah blah blah...these threads are never very helpful, oh well
dasein Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 I'm just getting a little annoyed at this whole site at the moment, it seems to be more bitter right now than when I joined a few months ago...and it is coming from both sexes...these posters act like they are the first person to have dating problems.....it's threads like this or the "ladies why do you cheat more"....blah blah blah blah...these threads are never very helpful, oh well Man I hear ya, and am guilty myself of stirring the pot here, mostly reactionary to obnoxious things others post I think, but stirring the pot nonetheless. People come here chapped and feeling used and abused, lots of them have been. OP probably has an environment near her home, school etc., where lots of jerks are giving her a hard time, making her feel unsafe and objectified. When she says she is losing faith in men, I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt and see that there is an implied "I'm losing faith in men I see day to day, or I'm losing faith in men I am exposed to" intended in there as opposed to "all men." I think male posters who generalize on a dating board where feelings are sore should be given the same latitude as well without being harrassed and insulted.
coolheadal Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 Come on things are changing? Women are doing what they want and if you the guy don't like it? Then get out of her way! She'll just yell out "NEXT AVAILABLE GUY IN LINE COME FORTH!"
richardwordoff Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 Tasha49: Well, if 80% do, then 20% don't. Case in point: you've obviously never met me because I am a few months away from being 23 and I don't party, get drunk or try to pressure women into sleeping with me so soon. I don't want marriage or kids either. I wish I met women like you in real life. You don't happen to live in the Eastern US do you? Haha
coolheadal Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 Looks like a new generation of Women are starting to roll out of the closet.. No guy wants a drunken girl. I don't have cases of beer in my fridge since I don't drink beer. I would say the same for the girl I want to be with. No smokers either all sorts of smokes just stinks up the place or friends house too. I avoid them and those women who do. So there must be the right targeted women out there who don't want to party, get drunk, don't want to cheat, not looking for gold digger and just stay with the guy she's with.
Osiris1234 Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 (edited) Hey Tasha have you ever thought that maybe its the guys your chosing? What about going after that nice guy who actually likes you and doesn't see you as a piece of meat. Im losing just as much faith in women as well, you can never find any god ones these days. Edited September 11, 2011 by Osiris1234
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