ls32ssibm Posted September 10, 2011 Posted September 10, 2011 (edited) To avoid the classic wall of texts, I'll keep it very simple and in bullet format. - Went to Elementary, JH and HS school with her, no relationship throughout school. Started dating in March, we are both 23, home from college. -Things were awkward at first, but went very well. Became my girlfriend April 22nd. -Hit a few rough patches, mainly because she was still getting over another guy that SHE had dumped in Feb (3 year relationship). This frustrated me since she was hesitant to be intimate because of it, I accepted the facts of the situation and decided I could deal with it and be patient. -I try to be the best boyfriend I can possible be. She had to work a midnight at the clinic, I drove 40 minutes in the middle of the night on my day off to bring her lunch. Stuff like that, seemed to go unappreciated. -June, I ship out for Marine Corps OCS. She is very proud of me allegedly, we tell each other we love each other for the first time, the last time we see each other. -I call her when I arrive at OCS to give her my mailing address. She still doesn't write me the first two weeks since she went up to Lake George NY (I was unaware at the time) leaving me wondering why, agitated and lonely while going through hell. Her first letter is like "Hey, I just got back from the lake, and got your first 2 letters, etc." -Anyway, week 3 I start getting her letters. They are very lovey dovey and sweet, I grow very close to her this way. -August, I come home. Things were alright, albeit she is still relatively uninterested in having sex although we've had it before. Throughout August, we only had sex probably less than 4 or 5 times. This is not that important to me just throwing it out there. -Things start getting weird. She says I want to see her too much, despite the fact I was gone the whole summer and I only see her on average of about 15 to 18 hours per week when I'm home. - We start having fights over dumb things. I start my old job again (midnights) and sacrifice a lot of sleep to hang out with her and her friends on the weekends (days I work), when I got grumpy or had a caffeine crash she was completely intolerant and unforgiving. -Crap hits the fan when I go to a fair with her and her friends, and she mentioned her ex and something they did last year at the same fair. I made a wise-ass comment back at her and it started a fight. I take the blame for this. -We reconciled, but things were never the same. Shortly after, I stopped by her house to give her a card, a gift and a kiss for our monthaversary she replied with "this couldn't have waited"? -Finally, we have a DISAGREEMENT (not even an argument) over the phone and she breaks up with me ON the phone. She said she never even wanted to give me another shot at a relationship after the fair thing, and that she didn't love me anymore. I ask if I can come by or if she can come over so we can talk. She tells me she is busy. Later I see on Facebook she hung out with her friend that night. To this day the last time I physically saw her everything was fine, or so I thought. -Since then, she claimed she wants to be "friends". I was naturally pretty upset since I loved her and said some things, the worst being I called her a "spoiled brat". Which she is, can you say a morgan horse AND a shetland pony at 15? -After some bitter texts, she BLOCKS me on facebook, and has her best friend and her fiancee block me on facebook. We broke up Sept 2nd or 3rd, and I'm kinda over it, but I was very, very upset at first since I loved her so much. I dunno, what do you guys think? That's the basic gist of our relationship I guess Also, she seemed virtually unphased by the breakup, although she claims the contrary. Edited September 10, 2011 by ls32ssibm
Eddie Edirol Posted September 10, 2011 Posted September 10, 2011 Yeah, that was your fault. Only because you tried to make a girl on the rebound love you. You NEVER do that. If you get any hint of someone being on the rebound, you get rid of them right away, because as you can see here, they use you to get over their ex, and never really give you 100%. I think she only dated you to either make her ex jealous, or to try to forget about him, or both, and it didnt work. Not only that you did many things that might have been too needy. See if youre going to deal with a woman on the rebound, you have to make her work to be appreciated by YOU, not the other way around. Since she never really had to work for you, she was never challenged, and none of her heart was given to you. So no, she wasnt phased by the breakup. But heres the upside - she is tortured by the thoughts of her ex that she wasnt over yet, she probably will still be tortured. or she will date another guy and go through this whole process again, and doesnt realize she needs to be by herself for a while. Be happy she broke it off, you dodged a bullet.
Eddie Edirol Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 think i'll bump this What answer were you looking for?
windmask Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 hey man read the post it was sad. the thing is she just out of a relationship with the other dude and then very fast went into a relationship with you, now these dont last long. but she said she loved you so i can understand why u would believe everything she said. i dont know what u said at the fair about her ex or w.e so i cant say for sure. but i dont think she was gf material. to break up over small things and getting mad because u see her to often like are you serious she must be stupid. the thing is ur prolly right about her being a spoiled brat because this girls got attitude so i can see. and u kinda let her get away with things whenever she said or did stupidness the thing is this made her realize she can walk all over you. anyhows enough of that i personally wouldnt blame you i can see where you coming from i was with a ex of mine which i loved too and she was spoiled as hell. and yea she acts like i never existed and she was my best friend too as well as my gf. so your not the only one man but whats one to do when faced with this issue u can try to convince her u love but it will never work. clearly u loved her more then she loved u, i was in the same situation. i say just forget about it i know its hard its been 4 months and NO Contact with ex for me but i still miss her. however we suffered enough humiliation am sure u had enough. best of luck. and please dont hook up with her again even if she comes begging because she will not change people like that deserve a taste of their own medicine.
Author ls32ssibm Posted September 12, 2011 Author Posted September 12, 2011 What answer were you looking for? Other opinions, that is the point of these boards isn't it
Mack05 Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 Agree with the posters above. You guys started seeing each other, one month after a previous 3 year relationship ended for her. That is nowhere near enough time to get over a relationship that long. You were a rebound and this woman will never give you the emotional fullfillment you crave. She has blocked you from everything. Take the hint and move on with your life.
wilsonx Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 Too much information posted... You can list all the reasons you want but -Hit a few rough patches, mainly because she was still getting over another guy that SHE had dumped in Feb (3 year relationship). This frustrated me since she was hesitant to be intimate because of it, I accepted the facts of the situation and decided I could deal with it and be patient. [/Quote] Nothing else after your post matters. You accepted the facts of the situation. If there's anything to learn, do not be a rebound in the future. It's not going to work.
insaneinthebrain Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 +1 to wilsonx post.... Its a hard hand to be dealt ..but you will be fine.... Just move on..
TheDovic Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 Dude you were too nice to her! Plus she was on the rebound!!! So in a way maybe your fault, but rebounds very rarely work anyway so maybe not! I recently read David DeAngelo's book "Attraction isn't a choice." I'm a totally nice guy like you too, doing things that went unappreciated, but guess wat? Women seem to HATE that! That book outlined that to me and he's so right. Sorry to be cliche, but nice guys who pander to women really do finish last, we're living proof bro!
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