TragicAlliance Posted September 10, 2011 Posted September 10, 2011 I hope you're happy, I finally said it today: I. Hate. You. And now I can't stop saying it. I friggin' hate you. You've done nothing for me lately except hit-and-runs: You hurt me and then you run off like the cowardly jerk you are. You constantly lied to me, and you lost all my trust. You are never here and I can't stand being strung along by a little boy. I wanted a man and thought I could find him in you... boy was I wrong. I sent you a message asking you to remove me from everything, but I think I'm going to do it myself instead. I hate you. I hate what you've done to me. I'm literally physically scarred because of you, and what do you do? Jack squat. You don't care about me - you don't love me. Screw you when you say you do... it's just another one of your little lies. I know that now. God, I can't wait until Monday when I start work... I can't wait to not have the time to simmer in my own hatred of you. You have caused me nightmares for the last time, damn you. You are no longer allowed to have any power over me... I hate you, and that's all there is to say. I can't stop saying it now. I gave you a billion chances and you crapped on each one of them. You nearly killed me and I still gave you chances. Chances that, again, you didn't care for. You've treated me like this for over two years, and all that resentment I warned you was building up? It's finally turned into hatred. And like when a cucumber becomes a pickle, my hatred will never be able to change back. I hate you. From the bottom of my heart.
Nohbody Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 No Star Wars references, as much as I'm tempted. This is not bad. It's ok. This is part of the process of grief, and you're that much closer to putting this all behind you. Good for you. Feel your feelings, and don't judge yourself.
Queen of Hearts 10 Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 Well written ! The mountain of grief is a hard one to climb, but you will get there. The opposite of love is nothing at all. One day you will look back and just fill a little twinge from this. the best part is to stay away and he won't hurt you any more ! I can't seem to do that and when you play with fire you get burned ! Ouch for me a lot. Best wishes keep posting ! Queen of Hearts 10
visualbasicide Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 Yeah, I wish I could go back and feel the anger again, it was liberating. Hooray for you. Just let it roll and don't hold onto it forever, it'll help you coast through this phase but will ultimately, like nohbody hinted above, lead you to the dark side. The anger part is neat though, because after it's over you can whip it up again if you need it. Like a gunslinger, payow, right there for ya if you need some emotional iron to get through a situation.
Recommended Posts