Author irc333 Posted September 11, 2011 Author Posted September 11, 2011 C) I personally find it a good way to weed out people who won't respect my personal boundaries. If they insist on getting my name on the first 1-2 chats and argue with me when I politely refuse, it gives me a bad vibe and wonder what else they might insist on later on. Just because someone gave me their details which I didn't ask for is no reason to give them mine. Also, I wouldn't know if they are lying anyway. Funny how one things this is a good way of weeding out people on your end, but it's also a good way to weed out people where online dating isn't something they should be participating in. It may sound paranoid, but it doesn't hurt to take precautions.Yes, it is paranoia, and if these are the kind of precautions you're making....perhaps online dating is not for you. those were her issues and not mine.Yep, all on her, her issues all the way.
coolheadal Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 Funny how one things this is a good way of weeding out people on your end, but it's also a good way to weed out people where online dating isn't something they should be participating in. Yes, it is paranoia, and if these are the kind of precautions you're making....perhaps online dating is not for you. Yep, all on her, her issues all the way. iT'S CALLED playing it safe online. You know that resent events only has caused this. So you use the alias and then get to know the person. If you feel ready to go to the next level then get on the phone and talk to them. Now you can tell them your real name. No need to do it online. Everything is monitored and you might not be even talking to a real person, could be police or something else. So you have to be very careful today. Just way to may crazy people out their just have to watch it! Privacy is there for a reason to keep your business out of the wrong hands! I rest my case!
Author irc333 Posted September 11, 2011 Author Posted September 11, 2011 Okay, give me the worst case scenario. Tell me what could POSSIBLY happen to a person who reveals ONLY their first name to someone else on the internet that could not happen face-to-face? iT'S CALLED playing it safe online. You know that resent events only has caused this. So you use the alias and then get to know the person. If you feel ready to go to the next level then get on the phone and talk to them. Now you can tell them your real name. No need to do it online. Everything is monitored and you might not be even talking to a real person, could be police or something else. So you have to be very careful today. Just way to may crazy people out their just have to watch it! Privacy is there for a reason to keep your business out of the wrong hands! I rest my case!
thatone Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 One of the worst things you can do online is use your first name but people don't listen. That's why we have alias screen names to use. So you told her your real name so you okay with it. But don't expect her to tell you her real name online. What happens if you had a fall out then you get mad and start using her real name (example: Sally won't seem me again, Sally is mean an etc.). So she's doing the right thing to protect her privacy. I agree she's doing the right thing! Just respect her wishes and you'll go far with her, but if you don't then might as well call it a night! your paranoia keep you warm at night, susan?
SincereOnlineGuy Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 Not really fair for her to know MY first name, when Id ont know her first name. That is dumb logic. By your logic, if I send a nude photo of myself to hundreds of the most beautiful women in the world, it wouldn't be 'fair' for them to have my nude photo before I'd received a reciprocal nude offering from each of them.
carhill Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 Think she's hiding something? Not really fair for her to know MY first name, when Id ont know her first name. Other than her name, I doubt she's hiding anything of consequence. As far as 'fairness', you do what you do and like what you like and the same for her. If those things don't match up, they don't. FWIW, every PM I receive here on LS is responded to signed with my real first name. I'm easy to find IRL, yet my phone never rings except from friends, loved ones and telemarketers, no black helicopters circle, nothing other than the usual spam floods my e-mail nor do any worldly belongings disappear when I'm away. Perhaps I might be explaining an *gasp* inequality between the genders or maybe just how life is for an 'average' person.
green_tea Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 She might have a really unusual first name, which would make it very easy to find her on facebook etc. I know, because although my name is common in my country of origin, it is very unusual where I now live and I am easily discoverable from it, especially since I have a very common surname. And yes I have been found by people on dating sites that way, from my first name only.
Author irc333 Posted September 12, 2011 Author Posted September 12, 2011 That is dumb logic. By your logic, if I send a nude photo of myself to hundreds of the most beautiful women in the world, it wouldn't be 'fair' for them to have my nude photo before I'd received a reciprocal nude offering from each of them. Nude photos vs first names.....sorry, bad example there. They aren't comparable.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 Nude photos vs first names.....sorry, bad example there. They aren't comparable. The logic in question was yours, not mine... You are simply wrong in this case.
coolheadal Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 Well to many ladies are posting their real full name and it will get back to them. Need to go alias to protect yourself online.
ThsAmericanLife Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 This issue... like many other issues to come when getting to know someone... is all about timing and comfort level. I can imagine a million other things that come along that the OP might not feel comfortable sharing... but this woman (or other women he might meet) would feel comfortable sharing. She may have very good reasons for being private. You don't know. But it doesn't really matter. At some point, you decide if things are progressing at a level you are comfortable. If not, then you move on. No sense dwelling on why.
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