I love how every1 is brutly honest and I need pleas!

[Bruntoutonlove]

My man and I have been togeather for 3 years now and just got married two weeks ago.,i love him,with all my heart. I have two children from a preavipus marrige that was filled with lies cheating on both sides. He beat us and always called me names stayed out for weeks at a time and I became a cheater to feel the hurt and lonlyness. Now I feel as though im getting what I desirve n a sence carma is a bitch. Any ways it was rough beganing a mew relationship I was afraid to tell my felings and decusse problems. I had always been beaten when I tryed. And needless to say I had/have major trust issues. So when my man began hidding his phone locking it and pullinh away I new something was wrong. I have been honest with him from day one even about my bad track record of cheating. I moved to florida with him to exscapey x who aparently showed our seven year olf daughter porn. Josh and I were on the rocks b4 we moved we had went to a friends to dronk and have funI was still a bite wild. I got drunk and my friend and I were dressing n linsera walikng throgh the house. Considering privates were covered I kept runing around the house when his guy friends showed up. Of course he got pissed I changed and apolagzed all night. There was a big arguement a reck and I had to keep him from being arested. Ended up n hospitle over panic attack and found out I was prego. I,gave up my moms offer of a three story hse to be with him. So once we moved all I could think is im alone if he desides to leave me. I was mollisted bye my dad as a child and my x had raped me several times. I was trying to get a lawer to figjt for coustdy. I was worried and very upset. I had told josh what was wrong and his mom we were living with his parents at that time. They both were upset with me calling me names. I ended up with nightmares of the sexual abuse and wouldnt let him tuch me. He decided no ment nothing. I compleatly went into shut down mode and tryed to aviod every one until I could collect myself. I said somethings I do regreate. Like , u can have the baby and ill leave if we cant work this out. Pleas dont get me wrong it was a terrible thing to say. But im on a very low fixed income and was so stressed I couldnt c how I could provid sufficantly for three kids. I thought I had there best intrest at heart. Durring this time he was talking about being a wing man and I still had the line he told his shes like a sister , friend to go to the bedroom. He was always on the internet. I finaly got myself togeather and tryed to make my two weeks of shut down up to him. We moved into our own place and I thought we were happy and doing great. Until things started adding up. Taking the phone to the bathroom never sitting it down, internet when he thought I was asleep. One day he told me no offince but im not going to the hospitle for u when shes born that killed me. My x ran off when I had my so beat me after our irst denying her. Our first two years I was faithfull even after I caught him with sme1 n our hse. Well one morning his phone fell out of his pocket and it went off so I looked, I am drawing ur portrate. Of coures he came strait bk affter it and swore it didnt say that calling me stupid. So I started checking every thing in hopes I was wrong. Until I ran across nude pics on phone then his myspace....... I hate that bitch hope she leaves after the baby. I love u. Move here with me we will get married. I was crushed... I had to go bk too nc for a week to renew my restraning order on.my x he begged me not to go. Durring my stay the kids and I ran out of food and. A guy friend of mine offered to fix supper for us and talk to me about how controlling josh was. This whole time he was going to bars nightly. And couldnt send us any money. I called and asked him if it would be ok to go c scot and eat supper. He threw a fite hell no. so I didnt even call scot bk made an ass of myself to keep from straing our relationship. On one piticular myspace conversation he told a girl we split and I left. Here my number and address. He wont admite to seeing her when I first comfronted him he got pissed and denied everything until I started reading it to him. Then it was well we werent getting along and its better now I stoped after the baby. I checked dates it was anouther lie. Its been almoust a year and I still feel like it just happined. I was sooo scared to ,marry j