crackster Posted September 10, 2011 Posted September 10, 2011 (edited) Ok as u no my ex left me 2 weeks ago saying she dont love me! over text after 2 and half years.. any ways she text me 1 week ago saying get her stuff in a bag and she get in in a few weeks! i said why can't you get it now! she said i will in a few weeks! why she doing this? does it sound like she trying to hold on or have control of me? am not sure.. but any ways am thinking of just dropping them of tomorrow when she at work. it might shock her! i was thinking about giving every thing back! that she bought me. like clothes CD's DVDS wallet rings.. and birthday stuff! i dont want them! but do you think am going over the top giving her every thing that she bought or reminds me of her? cheers Edited September 10, 2011 by crackster
lalalandman Posted September 10, 2011 Posted September 10, 2011 lol a little? Yes. Just box up her personal belongings. I wouldn't go to her place of business. Don't make work drama for her, plus it's borderline stalking. I know you're feeling emotional, so hold off on rash decisions. I don't think you need to wait 3 weeks though. Can you box it up and ship it to her house? That would be better. Then go NC. As for the things that remind you of her, you might box those up and put them aside. But it depends. Personally, I threw away everything less one, maybe two things. Up to you.
Author crackster Posted September 10, 2011 Author Posted September 10, 2011 Ok i just dont get why she would want to w8 couple weeks for her things!
LuluinAZ Posted September 10, 2011 Posted September 10, 2011 Because she is inconsiderate and insensitive. She wants to dangle you along and then twist the knife in a couple of weeks. I have a friend who has been staying with me since she left her husband. I've been waiting for her to come get her things for 2 weeks now. She's got my key and garage door opener too and it's disturbing, but she's not bothered. The advice to box it up and ship it to her is good, or meet with someone neutral and have them give it to her.
Author crackster Posted September 10, 2011 Author Posted September 10, 2011 Thanks guys she lives 10 min walk from me so i just drop it of and leave it on step! still cant believe it happened all this ! out the blue! then not even a text but just to say i dont love u! its been 2 weeks! so only booked and paid for a holiday less then 2 months ago! WTF was she thinking!!
Author crackster Posted September 10, 2011 Author Posted September 10, 2011 Ok i have 2 bags of hers it has EVERY thing she bought me and reminded me of her like DVDS and little things she has got me! do you think am going over the top giving her that that back? will you think sh will think am sad or trying to hard giving them back it has t-shirts and that she bought me! well i dont want them so she can have them back!
Coupedriver Posted September 10, 2011 Posted September 10, 2011 Set them ALL on fire in front of her...!! NO NO NO..IM kidding..The BEST thing for you to do..? Box it all up....walk to her house,drop the stuff off and walk away.If shes there and wants to make a scene or "I told you in a few weeks..!" just keep walking man...dont look back and DONT get sucked into an argument over ANYTHING..!! You have to learn to be IN CONTROL of yourself...she is CONTROLLING you...!!!!! Best advice you will ever get..!
geegirl Posted September 10, 2011 Posted September 10, 2011 Give her back all her things. All the stuff that she gave you, throw it away if you don't want it. Giving it back to her is immature and a clear sign that you are bitter. That's the last thing you want to do. Remember she is not emotionally involved as you are so she's just going to look at your bag of stuff and roll her eyes. She does not care, if you're trying to affect her in some way.
Mack05 Posted September 10, 2011 Posted September 10, 2011 Give her back all her things. All the stuff that she gave you, throw it away if you don't want it. Giving it back to her is immature and a clear sign that you are bitter. That's the last thing you want to do. Remember she is not emotionally involved as you are so she's just going to look at your bag of stuff and roll her eyes. She does not care, if you're trying to affect her in some way. Geegirl (how are u these days by the way?) I think this advice is better :laugh::laugh:-> "I just need to give this stuff back...People become very creative in finding ways to stay in contact with their exe's. One of the most innocent ploys you hear about is when one person insists on retrieving something - a piece of clothing, a household item that belongs to him or her. Think about how important the item really is. If you need to return it, put it in a box and mail it. No note, no nothing. If you are the one who wants it, think about it. Is it worth more than your sanity?Probably not. Making a clean break is important, so clear up loose ends immediately. Avoid keeping anything or leaving anything that can be asked for later on. If you still have things return them. If there are things you have left behind ask for them once more (if its important to you) otherwise forget it and move on."
geegirl Posted September 10, 2011 Posted September 10, 2011 Geegirl (how are u these days by the way?) I think this advice is better :laugh::laugh:-> "I just need to give this stuff back...People become very creative in finding ways to stay in contact with their exe's. One of the most innocent ploys you hear about is when one person insists on retrieving something - a piece of clothing, a household item that belongs to him or her. Think about how important the item really is. If you need to return it, put it in a box and mail it. No note, no nothing. If you are the one who wants it, think about it. Is it worth more than your sanity?Probably not. Making a clean break is important, so clear up loose ends immediately. Avoid keeping anything or leaving anything that can be asked for later on. If you still have things return them. If there are things you have left behind ask for them once more (if its important to you) otherwise forget it and move on." That was the long version of "give her all her stuff back!"
Author crackster Posted September 10, 2011 Author Posted September 10, 2011 Thanks guys! it just seems that every thing she has left or give me! i just want to sent it back to show her that i dont care about the break up! ( i really do) but i just want to show her that i give every thing back! and i need nothing of her! but on second hand if she dont care about me like she said! she just look at the stuff wallet - teddy - key rings clothes dvds and every thing and just laugh! and i look like i idiot! so i dunno what to do now lol
Mack05 Posted September 10, 2011 Posted September 10, 2011 That was the long version of "give her all her stuff back!" I think my reply had more class. You could learn from me Geegirl..
geegirl Posted September 10, 2011 Posted September 10, 2011 Thanks guys! it just seems that every thing she has left or give me! i just want to sent it back to show her that i dont care about the break up! ( i really do) but i just want to show her that i give every thing back! and i need nothing of her! but on second hand if she dont care about me like she said! she just look at the stuff wallet - teddy - key rings clothes dvds and every thing and just laugh! and i look like i idiot! so i dunno what to do now lol Showing her you care is you giving her back all the things she gave you. If you are striving to show her you don't care, throw it out. The truth is you do care so don't play games and think that you're going to be making a point when you won't. Like you said, she will 1) roll her eyes 2) believe you are bitter and affected 3) think you immature and dramatic. Remember, she is not emotional. You are. Your choice.
geegirl Posted September 10, 2011 Posted September 10, 2011 I think my reply had more class. You could learn from me Geegirl.. Remember the lion up on the rock and the bull down below kicking dust and causing ruckus. It's unlikely the bull can ever find it's way up that rock.
Mack05 Posted September 10, 2011 Posted September 10, 2011 Remember the lion up on the rock and the bull down below kicking dust and causing ruckus. It's unlikely the bull can ever find it's way up that rock. So I am the Lion and you are the bull? If thats the case I will keep raising the bar. Come join me up here Geegirl
geegirl Posted September 10, 2011 Posted September 10, 2011 (edited) So I am the Lion and you are the bull? If thats the case I will keep raising the bar. Come join me up here Geegirl If you had to ask the question then you know what you are. When you're the lion, you don't ask...you just know. The view is perfect from up here. Edited September 10, 2011 by geegirl
Mack05 Posted September 10, 2011 Posted September 10, 2011 (edited) If you had to ask the question then you know what you are. When you're the lion, you don't ask...you know. The view is perfect from up here. I give up haha.. whomever snagged you is a lucky guy Gee Edited September 10, 2011 by Mack05
geegirl Posted September 10, 2011 Posted September 10, 2011 I give up haha.. whomever snagged you is a lucky guy Gee Aren't you a lucky duck then!
Author crackster Posted September 10, 2011 Author Posted September 10, 2011 Cheers guys you really helping me out! i got told of a friend she went to Scotland for the weekend to see her best friend cos she just moved up there. i went on her friends facebook and she uploaded a photo of them out clubbing tonight as her profile photo! she only doing that cos she no it will piss me off! me ex and her mate is always out and she never done that my ex has only been there one day and she has added 2 lads from scotland on facebook already! (i never looked a friend text me and told me) how can she move on and be so happy already? under 2 weeks!!!! am scared that she might do sumthing with these lads or take them home! to her friends new house! ATM i feel more angry to her then any thing and make's it easier for me not to want to be with her! but deep down its killing me she never does any thing like this!
Coupedriver Posted September 10, 2011 Posted September 10, 2011 Its better to set that stuff on fire......YEAH..!!!!!!!!!!!
Author crackster Posted September 11, 2011 Author Posted September 11, 2011 Omg she went to see her friend at Scotland! and she added a lad from there on facebook! and then he put a message to her hi babe hows it going love ya xxx WTF!!
Author crackster Posted September 11, 2011 Author Posted September 11, 2011 its not only been 2 weeks!! and she only went there for 2 days! how can u meet some 1 in 2 days and them to say love you on facebook! unless thats why she ended it cos she was going up to she him as well! but it says he 34 and she only 20! lol
Coupedriver Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 Ok..Now let me get this part straight....So if I DO give all of her stuff back it shows I care.>?!?!? But I shouldn't and just throw it out..?
geegirl Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 Ok..Now let me get this part straight....So if I DO give all of her stuff back it shows I care.>?!?!? But I shouldn't and just throw it out..? Give her back ALL HER belongings, and I mean all so there is no opportunity to communicate again about "stuff". Giving her back all the stuff she gave YOU as gifts and tokens makes you look bitter and still affected by her.
M2155 Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 I don't think anything is wrong with dropping her stuff off when she isn't there. I returned my ex's stuff after he dumped me (he was not home). I was talking to a friend of mine who is a recent dumper told me next time don't even do that, it's not important and just shows you care. But I agree with the others, definitely don't give gifts back! Toss them, burn them, sell them, give them away but don't give them back. That shows her it hurts too much for you to keep them. I gave my ex some nice stuff, I wish he'd return it!
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