chelle21689 Posted September 10, 2011 Share Posted September 10, 2011 This happened twice. We'll be getting it on and things will be getting heated and then all of a sudden he'll stop. It makes me feel bad like something is wrong with me but then he told me it wasn't me and that he couldn't tell me because it's kinda embarrassing. I don't know what it is but the only thing that I can think of that'd be embarassing is premature ejaculation or something. I've seen his size and nothing is wrong with it, he looks fine...he turns me on. We haven't had sex yet though or oral just kissing. Link to post Share on other sites
Nexus One Posted September 10, 2011 Share Posted September 10, 2011 In my opinion premature ejaculation is something that isn't a problem, but is turned into a problem. For all women who think premature ejaculation is a problem, let me end it for you once and for all. When a man hasn't climaxed for let's say a few days and is incredibly horny, then he can come in 30 - 60 seconds if a woman manages to turn him on to a high level. The faster a man comes, the greater the compliment for the woman. Men build up sperm and need to unload every now an then. When that unloading hasn't happened for a while a guy tends to unload relatively quickly on the first climax. The second climax will take longer and the third one even longer and so forth. Women shouldn't be worrying about a guy coming too fast, they should be worrying when it takes a long time for him to come, because that means he needs a lot of additional stimulation to get turned on enough to ejaculate. Or he has been unloading once or more that day already. So if he comes too fast, then just keep having sex until he climaxed more than once or twice and the sessions will last longer. That being said, I dislike the term premature ejaculation, because there's just no such thing. It's about guys coming so fast because the woman turns them on. That being said. I'm not sure if your guy(OP's guy) is worried about premature ejaculation. He can simply come more often and the sessions will take longer after each ejaculation. It's also possible that during the make-out session he has trouble getting hard, perhaps that's what he's embarrassed about and he doesn't want you to know. Either he feels bad that he can't get it up when you make out with him or he's embarrassed about his "size" when he's not hard. Note that a guy's penis can grow 5 times as large from its non-erect state. Some guys look fine in terms of size when hard, but have a small one when it's not erect. Perhaps that's what he's worried about. Premature ejaculation in my opinion is really a term that has been invented to create a problem where there isn't any. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chelle21689 Posted September 10, 2011 Author Share Posted September 10, 2011 I didn't say that premature ejac. was the problem. I'm trying to figure out WHAT IS the problem lol.. he wont' tell me. He is hard by the way lol so that's not the issue. But he'll stop after I touch him down there after a while he'll take my hand out and just kiss and stop and casually try to end it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chelle21689 Posted September 10, 2011 Author Share Posted September 10, 2011 .....so far only one person has been useful and helpful. Link to post Share on other sites
country_gurl Posted September 10, 2011 Share Posted September 10, 2011 Chelle, what age is he? Have you 2 ever had sex? Any possibility that he's got an STD that he's too afraid to tell you about? Perhaps he has a morbid fear of getting you pregnant? (maybe he got someone pregnant in the past, unplanned) How long have you 2 been together? Maybe he's a virgin and is very self-conscious about his performance? Hard to give you advice without more basic info. Link to post Share on other sites
Keridan Posted September 10, 2011 Share Posted September 10, 2011 from what you posted, it sounds like he might be having trouble getting hard or, more likely, coming way too soon. A sudden stop and embarassment may mean he already did in his pants. It happens to young guys a lot. Ask him about it and ler him know you are fine with it. It can even be fun to work on control together. It's likely he will very embarassed. Be sensitive. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
dasein Posted September 10, 2011 Share Posted September 10, 2011 How long are you making out? There are all kinds of things that can happen when people make out for long periods. It's why many adults don't really do that once they reach a certain age. Maybe 20 minutes or so, then foreplay, then sex. Maybe start being the one to cool things down after a few minutes and let him set the tempo. Let him start, then after a few minutes you pull back without being obvious, wait and see what he does. After 20 minutes of making out, stop altogether or proceed on to sex, provided you are both of age. I have a feeling he is getting blue balls, which can be painful,and it has nothing to do with size insecurities or ED. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_balls Link to post Share on other sites
Author chelle21689 Posted September 10, 2011 Author Share Posted September 10, 2011 I think it may be that he "finishes" way too fast or easily. I don't know what else could it be. He's 21 and I'm 22. Both not virgins.. he isn't promiscuous at all, I doubt it's an STD lol not saying it's not possible but I just think it's something else. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted September 10, 2011 Share Posted September 10, 2011 He told you he wasn't a virgin ?... hmmmm... bet he is or he is so inexperienced that he is afraid he will ruin a good thing by proceeding.. He obviously likes being around you.. he just stops because he is afraid to lose you.. Maybe he is afraid you will figure out he is a virgin.. Just guesses though.. but I'd bet it follows that line of logic. Link to post Share on other sites
Bridgey Posted September 10, 2011 Share Posted September 10, 2011 Well since you guys aren't having sex or oral sex he probably stops just to cool himself down. Have you guys talked about going farther? Does he know sex isn't an option right now? Just another idea to throw out there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chelle21689 Posted September 10, 2011 Author Share Posted September 10, 2011 I guess I just assume he isn't one. He's good-looking and has had exes although his longest relationship was only 7 months. Eh I don't know... he just texted me and said he felt like a bad bf and that he'll tell me if I really wanted to know. So I guess I'll find out lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted September 10, 2011 Share Posted September 10, 2011 There is no way to tell what his issue is. Have you noticed this happening a a particular point? He could have anything from dental issues or perceptions of them to he's Christian and feels like he's in sin. You'll have to probe. Link to post Share on other sites
Nexus One Posted September 10, 2011 Share Posted September 10, 2011 I didn't say that premature ejac. was the problem. I'm trying to figure out WHAT IS the problem I know, but I took the occasion to set the record straight for women who do think it is a problem. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chelle21689 Posted September 12, 2011 Author Share Posted September 12, 2011 lol I was right...he was really embarassed to admit but I told him it didn't make me any less attracted. Went slower and it was fine..he said it's been a really long while haha Link to post Share on other sites
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