Tayla Posted September 10, 2011 Posted September 10, 2011 Two weeks ago was to be a surprise Birthday party for my Mom.It was rescheduled due to the lovely Hurricane Irene heading in our area. So now after rescheduling the event in which the first time relatives were up in arms due to travel and weather, they are once again declining the invitation. A Brief synopsis: My mother is terminally ill and if I am blessed I get two more years with her in this life. So these few birthdays that she has left I wanted to make filled with love and family. It means soo much to her. Yet her grandchildren wait til 24 hours before the event to cancel giving "ohh johnny is ill, he has a fever" , yet I then converse with a relative that has had dinner with them and they go...really? Johnny wasnt sick when we saw them..He was excited about going to a ball game. Preface my siblings do live out of state but some are going to fly in for the surpise.. (out of 7, three can make it! Yay!) I want to BOP my relatives for two reasons, they will be the very ones that when the time comes to make peace in my mothers life here on earth, will cry and say they regret not visiting her more often or (insert anything of importance like lets say...a birthday!). I am her sole caretaker and I do the best I can to keep her spirits up. The least this family that I was born into can have the respect to make an effort to attend her event. I can understand the weather conditions the first time, but really now...Can they see beyond their small noses and realize time is ticking and not many more of these events will she even be able to attend! She goes to treatments every two weeks so that tires her out, yet my lovely family gripes when I tell them she is too tired to get out to their events.....I know in her heart she'd love to attend...but healthwise its just not possible! This party is one few time that she will get out without a needle poking her or doctors prodding her. Yes I'll make the best of this day set to celebrate her, I just wish my family wasnt soo stuck on themselves ....
Author Tayla Posted September 11, 2011 Author Posted September 11, 2011 Tonights event update: The family that did attend had a Blast! WE shared our stories and had my Mom laughing from some of her "parenting" days. Despite some of the family members recinding on the invitation, I must say those that showed really made the night delightful! I am soo proud of those that truly cared. You could just feel the pride and joy in this gang . Not to mention a new family member was on hand. 5 weeks old and already he has the ladies swooning over him!
bentnotbroken Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 Then those who attended were indeed the one's your Mom needed the most. With them came the genuine caring and respect of which I am sure your Mom felt.
quankanne Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 I feel for you, Tayla, I really do ... my family is the same way, but I've learned that you cannot make someone care when they don't. Best thing to do is to extend the invitation and leave it at that ~ if it's not important to them, then it shouldn't be important to you (I know, hard one to deal with!). You shouldn't be spending so much energy on them when you've got other loving family who more than make up for it. so glad to hear your mom's celebration went well ... these folks are going to be the ones with happy tears in their eyes when she passes, becuase they'll have a beautiful store of memories and no regrets of their relationship with her, and that's the best thing you can hope for them. :love: and congrats on the new baby in the family! :love:
Author Tayla Posted September 14, 2011 Author Posted September 14, 2011 Thank you Bent for that reminder of what respect she does receive from the children she raised. She did good on that Quankanne- You got that right, many a night I cry knowing that the joyfull moments I do get to share with her are ticking away....yet gosh soo very many good things come to mind thru those tears and then ...a sense of its gonna be okay. As the primary caregiver and her daughter I have gained a friend in her as well as an "adult" who has my admiration for her attitude. Thank you both again for the comments .
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