Take_everything Posted September 10, 2011 Share Posted September 10, 2011 I broke up with my boyfriend of three years in march. Things are now pretty complicated between me and his friend, but that's another story (can you see my other posts?). anyway I was at a show with the ex and my OLD ex from highschool shows up and starts begging for me back, I tell him to leave me alone, he won't, long story short the newer ex punches the older one in the face. Thing is, the reason the older ex was begging for me back was I basically used him for sex a few times after breaking up with the newer ex and cut him out pretty coldly when I found someone else. The old ex did the same to me, except I was 16 at the time. The new guy still loves me and wants me back, we hang out sometimes but to be honest I have no intention of reconciliation and am in fact fooling around with his friend. His friend, who claims to care deeply about me and consider me one of his best friends told my new ex that I am a lair and a drama queen who has no one left. I guess this is true. I confessed about sleeping with the old ex, although I didn't really lie about it, just never mentioned it... If our mural friend thinks I'm such a liar then maybe I should just come clean about everything, him included. Link to post Share on other sites
Dark Phoenix Posted September 10, 2011 Share Posted September 10, 2011 I broke up with my boyfriend of three years in march. Things are now pretty complicated between me and his friend, but that's another story (can you see my other posts?). anyway I was at a show with the ex and my OLD ex from highschool shows up and starts begging for me back, I tell him to leave me alone, he won't, long story short the newer ex punches the older one in the face. Thing is, the reason the older ex was begging for me back was I basically used him for sex a few times after breaking up with the newer ex and cut him out pretty coldly when I found someone else. The old ex did the same to me, except I was 16 at the time. The new guy still loves me and wants me back, we hang out sometimes but to be honest I have no intention of reconciliation and am in fact fooling around with his friend. His friend, who claims to care deeply about me and consider me one of his best friends told my new ex that I am a lair and a drama queen who has no one left. I guess this is true. I confessed about sleeping with the old ex, although I didn't really lie about it, just never mentioned it... If our mural friend thinks I'm such a liar then maybe I should just come clean about everything, him included. Ok, First Off... omitting the truth IS LYING. Are you a bad person? In my opinion, and after having my ex leave me for my best friend, yes you are. You haven't written very much but this is what I get from what you have supplied in your post: you are a drama queen, very immature, Inconsiderate of someone else's feelings/emotions, self-centered, and a liar. Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 I have a suggestion, Stop dating people, be single. This is extreme codependency and this hurts people. Do you not see what you typed. It's a love triangle. Fix the inner demons in your life, get counseling and start making yourself a better person instead of draining the emotional energy of those that care for you. You are only a bad person if you think you are. You asking the question almost implies that you think you are a bad person but are looking for validation into it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Take_everything Posted September 11, 2011 Author Share Posted September 11, 2011 I told him I had slept with other people, he didn't ask for any specific names... We were broken up for months before it happened. As for the old ex, I was honest right off the bat that I didn't want a relationship, just sex, he knew that but he fell for me anyway. Besides he screwed me over worse. And his friend presued me for comfort and companionship, but not sex. It felt so good that a man could care about me, not just want to bang me. One night we got drunk and crossed the line but he is as guilty as I am. But yeah, I am a cold, manipulative person how can I be better? I wish I could love people. Link to post Share on other sites
magnus mateo Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 Come clean. Just tell the truth and move on. Focus on honesty, loyalty, and commitment in your next relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 (edited) At least you admit it... You have to first love yourself to be able to love other people... Sounds cheesy but its true Trust me Im sure 80% of the people on the forum think you are a P.O.S. I don't care personally, I know how to avoid people like you in the future Edited September 11, 2011 by wilsonx Link to post Share on other sites
Dark Phoenix Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 how can I be better? Much better question, Do as wilsonx suggested and take some time just being single. Learn to love yourself first then you can learn to love others. Also set goals for yourself and actively pursue them. Like a lot of us have done on here such as losing weight, going for that promotion, spending more time with your family ect ect... If you improve the quality of your life in most cases you will automatically start hanging out with better people (referring to the one that used you for sex). Ideally this will have a snowball affect and your friends will also help start improving you as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Take_everything Posted September 11, 2011 Author Share Posted September 11, 2011 I hate being alone, I'll hang out with just about anyone. I'm a pretty high functioning person as it is, I graduated culinary school with high grades and I'm going back to school. I work as a baker in a upscale bakery. I work out and I'm in fairly good shape. I still hate myself. I just hate hate hate being alone but I can't seem to settle on one person. I really loathe myself for the awful things I've done, too numerous to name. I've never cheated though. I really don't want to tell my ex everything but I live in fear he will find out and he is the only person who ever really cared. Link to post Share on other sites
Dark Phoenix Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 Being single isn't the same as being alone. I'm sure you have some close friends that you can hang out with that will ease that lonely feeling. Do some soul searching and figure out what it is that is making you hate yourself. Typically, people do drugs as a means of filling in a missing piece of their lives. I think you are using boyfriends as your drug and filling in that missing piece. Find out what that piece is and fill it in the right way, after you do that I think you'll be able to experience life to it's fullest. Link to post Share on other sites
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