AHardDaysNight Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 Don't you agree with this? If someone is socially awkward or has trouble with social cues, why would you laugh at them? Wouldn't you try to understand where they're coming from, and try to make them feel more at ease? I simply don't understand this mentality of "shunning the weird person"? Yes, he may be a sociopath, but he also may just have Aspergers.
ScienceGal Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 I agree. I know a woman that has a nervous laugh all the time. She will finish a sentence and then there will be this little laugh. As soon as I realized it was all the time, I just shrugged it off. She isn't a friend, so I've never mentioned it to her or anyone else. I also work with a woman that talks to herself nonstop and mumbles all the time. She flutters her eyes when talking to people, as though she can't make good eye contact. Often it's hard to understand what she is saying and what it is supposed to mean. But, she is a very nice person. I've hung out with her outside of work even with her peculiarities and even though she is much older than me. I like good people. period. "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle" - Plato
Author AHardDaysNight Posted September 9, 2011 Author Posted September 9, 2011 It's much harder in college, where people won't even socialize with you because they think you're weird. Hell, maybe I AM weird? Got a problem with that? I can't change my DNA, so I am a socially anxious person by nature. That DOES NOT make me a serial killer!
Tayla Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 We can do our best to carry the benefit of the doubt with some persons, yet sorry to pop a bubble here when I say....We dont need to tolerate or be of sainthood if we find some behavior and quirks just downright PECULIAR. Yes I laugh sometimes at some folks quirks, for its silly....but not if its A HEALTH issue . I get tired of having to sit around and think "gee- just give this "strange-r" a chance" (be it male or female I might add). Some Folks are weird from head to toe. Its their choice but it doesnt mean I have to "enjoy" or "endure" it. I don't apologize for being genuine with folks as opposed for enduring a weird person . My co worker is the poster child of weird, bizarre and down right creepy. She is also neurotic and delusional. Just as their time is precious, so too is mine and I'm not going to waste it on "accepting" it. Much less laugh at them or with them. To the OP, I think for you , you are an introvert..and that isnt weird or creepy. Come to my work place and meet this co worker, you will feel 100 times more accepting after that experience
Author AHardDaysNight Posted September 9, 2011 Author Posted September 9, 2011 Fair enough, Tayla. But it is just frustrating how some people don't accept others' differences.
iris219 Posted September 10, 2011 Posted September 10, 2011 I don’t think most adults would laugh at someone who is weird, but they would certainly shun them, as you say, and I understand this reaction. If someone is doing something that makes me uncomfortable, why would I want to hang around them? What kind of "weirdness" are you talking about specifically? FTR, my ex has Asperger’s.
Author AHardDaysNight Posted September 10, 2011 Author Posted September 10, 2011 Just being overly anxious. Not comfortable with people. Being self conscious about yourself.
iris219 Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 Do you warm up once you get comfortable in a social situation? Do you think you can learn to fake feeling comfortable until you do? Try making your thoughts disappear and feeling nothing--I know it sounds strange. I used to be very shy around new people and that's what I did. I'm not shy now because I forced myself to get over it. Stop caring about what people think of you, because, honestly, they aren't thinking about you half as much as you believe. I still have the capacity to revert back to feeling some social anxiety, but I don't let myself. No one would characterize me as shy or anxious, although there are occasions when I am. I play it off as confident aloofness. My job requires me to talk in front of people everyday. It's amazing what you can do when you have to do.
Eddie Edirol Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 Fair enough, Tayla. But it is just frustrating how some people don't accept others' differences. Trying to understand socially awkward people and put them at ease is a total waste of time. If you want to work on becoming not so socially awkward, thats an effort I'd work with. People DO accept other peoples differences, but they dont have to bend over backwards treat you special to make you feel normal because of those differences. If you want to be treated normal, you have to be normal, thats just the way life is. If you dont want to work on being socially normal, thats your problem, not everyone elses. You can make excuses all you want to NOT work on your peculiar-ness, but the more you make excuses to yourself, the further away you will push people. And then, they will laugh at you for their own reasons. If you want the right to be weird, they have the right to laugh at you.
Author AHardDaysNight Posted September 12, 2011 Author Posted September 12, 2011 Like introverts aren't normal? I'm sorry, Eddie, but I find that ridiculous. It's like you have to fit a certain box, otherwise you can't play with others. In a world full of 45 billion people, surely we're not all the same!
D-Lish Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 Like introverts aren't normal? I'm sorry, Eddie, but I find that ridiculous. It's like you have to fit a certain box, otherwise you can't play with others. In a world full of 45 billion people, surely we're not all the same! I wouldn't laugh at a socially awkward person, but I wouldn't take them on as a project either. I don't have time to mentor someone. Friendships are just as much about chemistry and connection as romantic relationsips are. If you're an introvert, you can probably find some solace in finding common ground with another introvert. Laugh at you or make fun of you if I met you? Never. You know who I judge? Mean and ignorant people.
Trolly Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 I think it depends on the spirit in which a person laughs. So long as a person isn't being mean spirited or drawing attention to the "weird" person I don't think it's bad. I kind of see it as appreciating or enjoying that persons uniqueness
Eddie Edirol Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 (edited) Like introverts aren't normal? I'm sorry, Eddie, but I find that ridiculous. It's like you have to fit a certain box, otherwise you can't play with others. In a world full of 45 billion people, surely we're not all the same! Of course you find it ridiculous, you want to fit in without changing, and you want everyone to accomodate your quirks. the world doesnt work like that, people dont want to do that kind of work for people they dont know. Introverts arent normal when they are acting introverted, thats why you started this thread. Youre getting abnormal treatment because of it. Maybe you havent noticed this in life, but people tend to make their own groups of people they want to play with, and they dont welcome outsiders that arent like them-or fit into their boxes. Thats just the way life is. No kids want to play in the sandbox with you when they are making castles and you keep throwing sand in their eyes- because you "cant help it". In a world full of 45 billion people, surely you can find introverts like you to hang with instead. Edited September 12, 2011 by Eddie Edirol
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