so_mo34 Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 I am going to end it with this guy i been having sex with for 2 years. We were never together..but I have super strong feelings for him despite he never treated me well. I know he could care less about me which really hurts. He also harrasses all these young girls at work to try and get them to have sex with him. He is 37. He will literally have sex with anyone and i just feel really pathetic for letting him use me for so long. I did enjoy the sex though but my emotions are in the way...tired of feeling jealous and I know he will never want me. What should I say to him to end it? It's going to be really hard but i quit that job so i won't see him at work anymore. I feel like i almost can't do it...i tried doing it twice before and i just went back. I really need to be strong but its so hard
ScienceGal Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 You don't need to say anything. Remove him from your life. phone number, facebook, email address, everything. He is using you for sex and will never give you anything good or lasting. What do you want in your life? Where do you see yourself in 5 years... still sleeping with this guy? I am assuming you are younger since you pointed out his age. How old are you? 25?
Author so_mo34 Posted September 9, 2011 Author Posted September 9, 2011 I'm 23. I really want to find someone one day who will actually have feelings for me back for once. I just got so hung up on him and im just tired of feeling hurt all the time.
Cracker Jack Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 You've said the same thing for the last 10+ threads. Keep allowing yourself to be treated like crap and he'll (or any guy in the future) will see no reason to stop. I don't think it's hopeless for you. You're young. I just think if you keep putting up with this, you're going to make things much worse on yourself. Please gain control of your life.
visualbasicide Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 I know he could care less about me which really hurts. He also harrasses all these young girls at work to try and get them to have sex with him. He is 37. He will literally have sex with anyone and i just feel really pathetic for letting him use me for so long. I did enjoy the sex though but my emotions are in the way...tired of feeling jealous and I know he will never want me. This and then go no contact. seriously I could elaborate but since you said it all yourself you already know the answer. If you need help and encouragement after you do it, lot's of people here will give it to you
Author so_mo34 Posted September 9, 2011 Author Posted September 9, 2011 Cracker Jack- well the thing is I kept putting on this front for him ..pretending that i could care less about him and that i was using him too. I was hoping to use reverse psycology but it never worked. it will be easier this time cause i won't have to see him at work anymore at least. I just need him out of sight and out of mind and hopefully i will be over him in a year.
Cracker Jack Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 I understand. And it's good that you won't see him on a daily anymore, but the situation is still hurting you pretty bad, so it hasn't helped that much. Can I ask something else? What was you saw in this guy that attracted you so much?
olivec Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 I am going to end it with this guy i been having sex with for 2 years. We were never together..but I have super strong feelings for him despite he never treated me well. I know he could care less about me which really hurts. He also harrasses all these young girls at work to try and get them to have sex with him. He is 37. He will literally have sex with anyone and i just feel really pathetic for letting him use me for so long. I did enjoy the sex though but my emotions are in the way...tired of feeling jealous and I know he will never want me. What should I say to him to end it? It's going to be really hard but i quit that job so i won't see him at work anymore. I feel like i almost can't do it...i tried doing it twice before and i just went back. I really need to be strong but its so hard I know your hurting right now, but you have to cut this person out of your life for good. If you don't hes only gunna continue to hurt you and you will never be able to move on. You must cut this cancer from your life as hes destroying you from the inside out. I'm sure your a great person and you don't deserve to be treated in this manner. However inorder for you to heal and move forward you have to eliminate this guy from your life. Once you do that you can begin the process of getting your life back on track and in time you'll find the right person for you.
Author so_mo34 Posted September 10, 2011 Author Posted September 10, 2011 I think he is funny and attractive. I think it's just mostly attachement i got from him as he isn't anything that special. He is immature and has issues of his own. I don't know why i like him so much..i just got so attached and seeing him all the time at work didn't help. I also like the attention from him and i always like the guys i can't have.
visualbasicide Posted September 10, 2011 Posted September 10, 2011 I think he is funny and attractive. I think it's just mostly attachement i got from him as he isn't anything that special. He is immature and has issues of his own. I don't know why i like him so much..i just got so attached and seeing him all the time at work didn't help. I also like the attention from him and i always like the guys i can't have. Take some serious time for yourself and with no one else there to complicate things, make yourself someone you are happy with and then when that is dealt with, find the guy nobody else can have.
ScienceGal Posted September 10, 2011 Posted September 10, 2011 I'm 23. I really want to find someone one day who will actually have feelings for me back for once. I just got so hung up on him and im just tired of feeling hurt all the time. It's natural to get attached to someone. I am an intelligent woman, with a lot going for me, and I am still hung up on my lousy ex. It isn't logical and I know that. It's emotional, it's feelings I have been conditioned to have because I miss the "routine" of being with him. All the things we did and said, all the places we went. Yeah, it hurts. But, there were memories before him and there will be memories after him. You will find someone else, but first you have to work on yourself. You need to be ok being alone. I know it's scary, but you have to. Keep busy with work, friends, exercise, and anything that makes you feel good. Only when you are happy on your own will you start to feel your self worth and see that you have so much more to offer than your ex. You will realize there are men out there that want to treat you well. You need time before you'll be ready to start a relationship that has a chance to last and be healthy. I am in that boat with you. You are not really "alone"
visualbasicide Posted September 10, 2011 Posted September 10, 2011 It's natural to get attached to someone. I am an intelligent woman, with a lot going for me, and I am still hung up on my lousy ex. It isn't logical and I know that. It's emotional, it's feelings I have been conditioned to have because I miss the "routine" of being with him. All the things we did and said, all the places we went. Yeah, it hurts. But, there were memories before him and there will be memories after him. You will find someone else, but first you have to work on yourself. You need to be ok being alone. I know it's scary, but you have to. Keep busy with work, friends, exercise, and anything that makes you feel good. Only when you are happy on your own will you start to feel your self worth and see that you have so much more to offer than your ex. You will realize there are men out there that want to treat you well. You need time before you'll be ready to start a relationship that has a chance to last and be healthy. I am in that boat with you. You are not really "alone" I second that, most of us are in the boat with you, and I'm just as tired of rowing as everyone else.
Author so_mo34 Posted September 10, 2011 Author Posted September 10, 2011 So i ended it this morning. Though my friends said i was too polite with him. I just told him that casual sex is not what i want. I just felt being mean wasn't necessary..and i didn''t want any drama. But now i gave him the satisfaction of pretty much telling him i liked him. this is what he said in reply "it's all good lol". like he didn't even care and my heart is literally broken
visualbasicide Posted September 10, 2011 Posted September 10, 2011 Yeah, that pretty much just underlines everything above. Never talk to him again. He is a child running around with a grownup costume on and you do not need that in your life. Go no contact and stay that way, if he contacts you it will be for his benefit alone and not yours. These type of people promise only lies. Welcome to loveshack. Just hang in there and do what you need to to feel good about yourself and move forward. It'll get better as it goes along and you can post back here or start a new thread in teh coping section if you want any advice or encouragement. Be strong and you will come out ahead in the end.
coolheadal Posted September 10, 2011 Posted September 10, 2011 First of all this guy is pig at your job. He should be let go if I was running that company. Never, never allow work and sex to get in the way. This guy has all the girls at your job for sex. Why or why did you join that crowd. Office Sex Player is running around your company having his way with all the female girls he want too. Now you have some options either report him to the company owner or quit your job. You could stay there but it's a bad call. If you report him it might back firer on you too they could try to kick you out. I've seen this happen.
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