LilThalie Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 I've heard so often that having moved on is when you are indifferent about your ex. I don't quite agree with that. In my current situation, I'm still not where I want to be. But my aim is not to get to a point where I am indifferen towards him. I actually believe that he still cares too. He's gone back to his ex girlfriend, yes, and that's a situation where he's being giving what I couldn't give him: security and promises that their relationship will last forever. They have history and she'd be willing to sacrifice a lot of her own life to just be with him. I don't know her much but from all I hear from friends she must be quite the opposite of myself. Hell, it hurt. But I'm so much better now. I don't hate him, I still care about him. I hope he's happy. I don't even hope he's living to regret it. I know we won't get back together, at least not now, who knows what will be in 10 years. Anyway, that's nothing to worry about now. I live my life, he lives his life. I care about him, much in the way that you care about someone you were once romantically involved with. This doesn't equal that I want to speak to him all the time or that I would want a relationship with him right now. I just care about him as a person and I hope he's happy and from time to time I remember the good times we had together and they make me smile. Why couldn't he feel the same way? To get back to the beginning of my post: Maybe that type of thinking is delusional, I don't care. Some people say you have moved on when you are indifferent about your ex. Maybe that's true but then I don't think it's desireable to fully move on unless you were treated badly. I shared a lot with that person for a reason and I cared about him for a reason. That doesn't stop because of a break up. It changes. That needs time but at the end of the road you still care, but differently. I like that I still care, but do not feel the need to be with him anymore. I'm happy that I had him in my life and I'm happy with where I am in my life right now. That's when I've moved on, when I'm positive and confident with where I stand. For me that's much healthier than aiming to be indifferent towards a person I once loved. What do you think? Is being indifferent really possible or even desireable? Why would you want that if you had a 'normal' break up(not messy, no one being treated like crap, no cheating)?
Unrequitedlove Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 It depends on the relationship. I'd been in one serious relationship where I was treated poorly, and completely moved on. It was a messy break-up, and I really loved him. He hurt me the most, but I grew from it. At this point, I'm happy for him knowing that he's doing much better off after me, and is in a relationship with another woman who is making him happy. My most recent long term relationship ended differently. He left, saying he wanted to better himself and needed time, although he's doing the complete opposite. We had a great relationship and he made me the happiest I'd ever been with someone. He never cheated or hurt me. I felt like our connection was unbreakable, and he was the one. At this point in time, I do not feel like I can feel indifferent, and I don't think I ever will.
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