LukeBretJohnson Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 Hi to everyone, I'm writing here because I had a someway particular story with a girl, and I'm really confused about what has to be done. As you can read from the title, there has been a breakup, I really miss her and I want her back in my life. I'll explain all the details so I can hope to get the best advice from this community. If you don't want to read all the story, you can jump to the last final part. I met this girl in january, thanks to a friend and started dating her after a week . the fact that she is 17 (I'm 21) scared me a lot at first, in fact, i decided to take things slowly in order to know her before actually flirting. I gave it a try because she is very attractive to me, so we started dating one-twice a week. After a month of absolutely fun hanging-out, I was really attracted by her strong personality and character regardless of her age so i decided to try and kiss her. She showed no signs of rejection and soon we set up a date at my place (she had to lie to his parents, I'll explain later why I'm telling this). So the date ended up in my bed and we both had a great time sexually. We continued dating and having sex without worrying about being toghether as a couple until she asked me if she was my girlfriend and I told her: yes. From that day on it went very good, we had a lot of fun together and the feelings started to grow up from both of us after 3 months. She couldn't hang out with me in the evening without cheating on her parents, but after we confessed love to each other, she started not to feel comfortable about it. From that magic moment, the cracks began to show, and multiple problems (some of them bigger than us) began to pile up: I used to hang out sometimes with his friends together with her, but after she told me that one of his friends flirted with her she kept me away (lucky guy). I tried to introduce her to my friends but she told me that she's not comfortable among people she doesn't know. She went in a cruise holiday with his family and met a lot of guys and girls who took pictures with her I got angry for (strange, wasn't she the shy girl who feels uncomfortable amongst strangers?). We started to argue very often about crap and almost decided to take a break from seeing each other but we both rolled back our decision. Her parents didn't let her come with me during summer holiday, but they sent her alone in a foreign country to study english in a hosting family (pretty interisting logic uh?). During that period we kept on fighting every single day at the phone, because during the first days of separation i felt like she was putting me under her new friends and studies and I was worried she could be cheating on me. After the first days, even in the little peace intervals we had, she was highly irritable and we started to call each other lesser and lesser. During a fight I was so angry that I broke up with her by the phone...she seemed to be hurt, and apologized for her behaviour, so I told her that when we would have clarified once we would have come home (I hope this is correct in english). When she came back I was still away and she changed her behaviour drastically, becoming really lovely and happy to hear me, i told her that It seemed to be strange to me so I told her to wait for me to come back and to not call me until the day we would have seen each other. We met and she told me that she didn't wanted to screw the relationship up, and we both agreed to be toghether again and give ourselves another shot. The things from that day were the same as before, we kept on fighting and fighting, and don't know what to do. FINAL PART: In the last month she experienced a hard time having orgasms while having sex, telling me that she didn't know why. We tried to make sex in the ways she loved most but, nothing. The strange fact is that she was not that enthusiast on even trying. The last time she's been to my place we argued a lot because she didn't wanted to have sex me, even after a week since the last sexual intercourse. I convinced her to try, but it was useless. She recently proposed me to take a long break of one month insisting about the fact that during the break "we are not toghether, but in a break". I told her i disagreed and had another big fight. After the fight she sent me a message on facebook telling me that she didn't want to see me until the end of the break and that she removed me from her facebook contacts to prevent her from viewing my profile, she insisted about the fact that it wasn't a farewell. I got really angry because I think it's not the kind of information you give by FACEBOOK! She could have called me at least and, beside this fact, It seemed pointless to me. So I went to her house and told her she disappointed me and that if she wanted to have me she would have taken me in that moment or never, but she stayed in her position saying that she needed time to think, and I walked away. Now 3 days of NC are passed since the broke up, and I want to know if NC is still a good option...I just don't know what to do because I was the one who broke up. She probably didn't expect a reaction like that from me, while I was walking away she grabbed my arm, asking me for at least 2 days of break but I was so angry I kept walking away and now I regret it. I want her back because i feel that we had fights because I started feeling insecure and controlling about her. I want to correct my mistake. I'm sorry for the long post and the possible grammar mistakes (I hope everything is understandable).
CaliBabe Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 I hate to say this, but people who want breaks want to date other people and see what else is out there. Breaks from relationships are breaks from you. If that is what she proposed, give it to her. Let her see what its really like without you!
Author LukeBretJohnson Posted September 9, 2011 Author Posted September 9, 2011 Thanks for the reply. I'm wondering if NC is appropriate here. She could be thinking she did a great mistake by letting me go, suffering for the guilt and loss...in that case, not contacting her for more time could create a sense of resignation and get her used to my absence, with a possible cosnequent rejection or indifference when I'll initiate contact. I know it's possible that she wanted to see what's around, but I'm confident enough to know that she knows who is missing, but she thinks that things are never going to be like the start. I think I could be calling her saying I still want her as a friend earlier, then hang out with her again from the start, trying to start again on trigger attraction, what do you think?
Author LukeBretJohnson Posted September 13, 2011 Author Posted September 13, 2011 UP! It's been a week since the last time we spoke, still no signs from her. Any advice?
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