XxericexX Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 Almost 2 weeks of NC now. My first relationship of 3 years ended because my ex left for someone else. I did the begging and pleading and I didn't even mind seeing her when she wanted to see me. We broke up in May, but the last time we talked was 2 weeks ago and it ended with her saying "I'm not ever coming back, so don't wait for me." The guy she left me for lives much farther away (LDR). I only realized she strung me along when she called to tell me there was no point in waiting and her brother told me she had booked a flight to see the guy the following week (labor day weekend). The reason I was so willing to be "strung along" was because both her mom and her brother told me to fight for it, and there was still a chance because we had 3 years together. To my dismay, even when there were times I felt high hope, ultimately it made things worse. The last time I saw her she came to visit me and stayed a few nights, but I could not hold my emotions back...even after telling myself I need to remain confident. I'm worried that I've lost all chances to get her back because our parents are involved and even still she chose to leave. Yet, deep down my heart tells me I should pursue what it wants. Because she is in this LDR, I know their honeymoon period will extend much longer, but at the same time I feel that if I can show her that I can be with her more than he can, physically, she will come back. I know the advice is to stay NC. I didn't break up with her when I found her calling the guy late at night, or even initiate NC until she said "I'll never call you again, if it helps" ...and I always have the constant regret that I should've initiated NC while she was still crying and pleading to see me when we first broke up. I know 2 weeks probably isn't enough time for me to clear my head, and most of you will tell me to move on because she left me for someone else. Is it wrong to fight for her still?
silly_panda Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 It's not wrong to fight... But you also gotta know when to quit when the fight cannot be won...
Author XxericexX Posted September 9, 2011 Author Posted September 9, 2011 It's not wrong to fight... But you also gotta know when to quit when the fight cannot be won... What are my best chances? If I call her, I think I can be more confident, but I know I may not hear what I want to hear...or she may not even pick up. I'm afraid if I do, it'll set me back to day 0. What if I call her and talk to her and she agrees to meet me again? It will be like being strung along because her new bf is not there. It's stupid of me to think I can fight when I fear so much... Does anyone know a good approach?
silly_panda Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 Man... I understand how you feel rite now... I really do... I had 'fought' to get back my ex for a year before... I didn't get her back of course... If you really feel that you wanna fight... Just go and do what you think you should do... Follow your heart and just do it... At the end of the day, if you get her back... Then it's a battle well fought... If you didn't get her back, it is also a battle well fought and at least you don't have any regret for not trying...
Author XxericexX Posted September 9, 2011 Author Posted September 9, 2011 Thanks Silly_Panda, I've fought for her before she ever met up with her new bf, and I told myself it would be the last time. I just don't like the way we ended things with her saying she'll never come back or call and me sending a viscious text. ...I apologized for it after, but through a text since she didn't pick up. It was short, but it was sincere and I thanked her for the 3 years. Honestly, I've felt I've made every mistake possible in losing her more and more. From not going NC at the right time, to not being able to hold my composure when she was spending time with me. Ultimately, I lost to myself. I'm going to flip a coin today, unless there is anyone that can talk me out of it. Thanks in advanced.
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