clovess Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 Hee I really need some help. thank you a lot for reading and replying, My boyfriend broke up with me almost a month ago, going through the most horrible time of my life. we broke up before in july, very unexpected, I went on holiday and then he broke up, a week before everything was still the same and sooo great! I dont understand how his feelings changed so quick? later we came back together again but it just didn't work and later he told me he didnt love me anymore.. You all have no idea how much we loved each other and how happy we were, we were best friends, soulmates and the best lovers with pure love. we wanted to marry, be together forever and have kids together. he always told me he was so scared to lose me, he would be nothing without me and he loved me so so much.. but now he's the one that left me. he's such a sensitive boy and everything he told me was true. he is just so great!! he told me it really wasnt my fault that he left, I never did anything wrong to him. I'm really very confused. we are still friends and talk everyday, he told me he doesnt think he will ever find someone better than me, but that he just couldn't be in a relationship. he told me he's still not over me, and whenever he thinks about the future, it's still with me. he also still calls me his girlfriend when people ask who he's talking to. he still tries to make me jealous by making comments about girls, he says he doesnt know why he does that. He also told me he really really likes me, but he's not sure if he loves me again. he like really insisted me to admit if I still love him or not, I told him I do, that it never went away. he told me he would talk to me more because of his feelings, but he doesnt talk more yet.. he also told me he sometimes misses me, and he misses all the things we had and would have had. he told me he was looking at my picture and thought "omg why did I break up with her", he also admitted he stills checks my twitter account and asked me to tweet more because he likes to read it. he also admitted he cried about me!! that is so sweet, but why would he when he's the one who left?? there's also this boy who likes me, I told my ex about him, he got a little mad and told me 'good luck trying to replace me', because I said I made a little eyecontact back. he told me I can't replace him, and I know that's true, he's more than I ever wanted or needed, like a dream.. I never ever want to replace him! But then sometimes he is so cold.. he's not sure if he wants to stay friends and told me he wants to drive me away from him, but when I told him I don't want contact anymore if he's going out with another girl, he told me he wouldnt tell me then because he doesn't want me out of his life.. he always says he's not sure but he never leaves me as a friend. after a convo about that, everything is normal again. We were in a long distance relationship so that was extra hard. I guess we just happened in the wrong time, I still hope so badly we will come together again, heard it more, I don't care whatever happens, as long as we will be together again, you have no idea how much I love him! I just really don't want to live without him, I want to spend forever by his lovely side. What do you all think about this? is there still hope? I think the best thing to do is just try my best to make him fall in love with me again, be happy around him and do everything he loved me for, but then more! I will try everything to make him fall in love with me again, though it will probably break my heart. I just have to try, it seems the only way. I really don't want to go NC now and I won't , only when he gets a new girlfriend. I love this boy so much and I'm gonna fight for our love, try everything, even if it doesn't work, I'll still know I tried everything. I just think it happened the wrong time, he wasn't ready for a relationship so serious. the distance is also very hard, he aksed me if I would give him another chance when we live closer, we now live in another country, and I will go there to study, or he to my country. I love him so much, he's my sweetie.. please reply I really really need your view on this! thank you a lot in advance!
Nohbody Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 As long as you stay in contact with him, you are basically agreeing with his decision to not be in a relationship with you. He can have access to your emotional goodies without having to commit anything to you. This is not a balanced relationship, and you will ultimately suffer. So if that's what you want, continue staying in contact.
TBH Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 try as you might you cannot make someone feel like being with you if they dont want it anymore. Its sad I know and many's the time I have thought 'why cant people just do what you want them to! life would be so much easier!!' Not wishing to sound patronising but you sound quite young. if so what I am about to say will probably not make any difference to how you feel but its worth a go. everyone DOES understand how you feel, we've all lost loves and at the time its like the world is ending BUT time heals and we all move on eventually. its naturally part of life and the maturing process. everything will work out in the end even if you are not together. the worst thing you can do is try to control the situation. if he comes back it must be because he wants to. maybe he will, maybe if he does come back by then your feelings might have changed, because they will in one way or another.
Author clovess Posted September 9, 2011 Author Posted September 9, 2011 thank you for your replies, yes you're right I'm quite young, we were each others first love and we wished to be each others last.. you're right that I shouldn't try to control the situation, I will try not to, I just can't make my heart listen to my mind, I'm still so in love with him! I won't force him ever and just hope that one day he will realise what he lost. I know NC would be the best, but what if he totally forgets about me? I mean, we had long distance so we never see each other. I will lose him forever! I think I will just stay friends and hope for the best. not smart but still.. hate this so much! thank you, I'm sure I will move on one day, but it's just getting worse day by day! I know one day maybe I can live with the pain, it's just I don't want to, I just want to be with him and very close to him and never ever let him go. feel so lonely without him and pray all day for him to fall in love again and come back.. I miss him so much :"( good to know we're not alone in this. thank you for your replies, I'd like more replies.
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