Buttercup84 Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 I think the little things I will miss the most. Our inside jokes , our cuddles on the weekend in bed , going grocery shopping and to our cafe , having tickle fights , having him call me by my pet name and sitting on his lap while he is on the computer... now he is going to have those things with another girl. We had our fights and difficult times but those moments meant so much to me.They were our thing.Now I will never have that again. I never felt so connected with anyone before and he just left all that.He does not care about those things.
smudge21 Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 You're right, those things won't happen again.. not in the same way and not with him, but in a new different and exciting way, with someone also new and different. I know right now there's no way you can imagine being that close to someone again, but there will be a time when you do, and you'll have a whole load of other "little things" that you'll like doing with them. It's like moving house. You always remember it as "home", and have that special feeling towards it. A new place always seems so cold at first and you long for that special homely feeling, but with time it comes and your new house does indeed become a "home".
mike588 Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 Smudge21 is sooooo right. You will get thru and over this.
intigo Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 buttercup i love your posts i feel exactly like you, i can relate to everything you write. For me it was a special kiss i would give her and say goodnight before we fall asleep together.waking up together and saying goodmorning with a kiss. I miss my girl so much
gbadboy Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 You seem to be really affected by all of this. My heart goes out to you. But remember, you never know what can happen in the future - or what the stars hold for us. Who know's - there might be another chance down the road. Have you ever wondered that maybe NOW is not the right time for you 2 to be aligned? Think about it that way. That doesn't mean you sit and wait though. Work on yourself in the meantime. SOmetimes distance makes the heart go fonder and after some time when he's feeling down - he'll remember you! Remember that as much as he's had an impact on you, you've also had an impact on him weather you want to believe it or not....he's prob just trying to distract himself, but its IMPOSSIBLE to erase your partner's memory - so that should be an advantage for you! Think about it!
gbadboy Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 ....and let me also add this.... Sometimes other people's problems (strangers) can help you realize your's isnt so bad. For example, I'm dealing with a huge huge huge heart break myself. And low and behold Im gay. Being gay is very tough because not only do we experience the same love and heart aches as our straight counterparts but we have additional problems to worry about - such as , familly accecptance, acceptance in society overall (thankfully though I'm Canadian. But there are many others that don't have that luxury). Plus, unlike our straight counterparts, our options are very limited, we have a smaller pool to choose from. So chin up, there are many gay ppl out there feeling the same heart aches as you, and we have to also juggle that with stresses of acceptance and identity.
LelouchIsZero Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 Good advice, Smudge. I don't particularly have anything to add on to what's already been said, but keep your head up, things will get better.
Author Buttercup84 Posted September 9, 2011 Author Posted September 9, 2011 @gbadboy first of all I'm sorry you are suffering from such a bad heartache . It's so unfair that people are so narrow minded about sexuality . I'm sorry it is so hard for you . I may be naive but I believe that your soulmate will find you no matter what . I hope you get the man you dream of . And thank you so much for your comment it gives me hope . I really needed that . Much love xxxx
Author Buttercup84 Posted September 9, 2011 Author Posted September 9, 2011 buttercup i love your posts i feel exactly like you, i can relate to everything you write. For me it was a special kiss i would give her and say goodnight before we fall asleep together.waking up together and saying goodmorning with a kiss. I miss my girl so much Thank you ! I'm sorry about your loss . I've read your story and relate to your pain. I think it's so sweet that those things meant so much to you , it's nice that men feel that way too .
radiodarcy Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 It's like moving house. You always remember it as "home", and have that special feeling towards it. A new place always seems so cold at first and you long for that special homely feeling, but with time it comes and your new house does indeed become a "home". great analogy! although for now - - i'm working on thinking of myself as home . i think it'll be that much easier for me to accept someone else (if i ever get to the point where i want to) in my life once i'm happy with where i am with my self-esteem etc.
shayla Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 I can remember feeling all the emotions and despair that you speak of Buttercup. I never thought the hurt would go away, and it hasn't totally. But it is nowhere near as bad as it was 8 months ago. It does not help that you've had to have contact with your ex and he has been hostile and cold toward you. It makes all the anger and hurt come back like the break up is happening all over again. I can assure you that even though you won't have those moments with your ex again, you will have all new experiences with someone else. They will be just as special, they will feel just as good, maybe even better. I can promise you that.
gbadboy Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 Thanks Buttercup for the kind words! For example, let's say we do meet our man of our dreams and we have our problems and break ups and then stress it and then re-unite and all is good..... but THEN we now have to deal with how now do we incoroprate them into our family lives? That alone can damage the union. That's something straight ppl will never have to worry about! Cheers,
Daremo_06 Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 I know its very very hard right now. I have been there and it sucks. And its going to take time to make it hurt less. There is no magic pill. I wish there was as its not fun to go through. You WILL have those sort of things with someone else. Right now, you reject that because you want so much to have it with him. Once you start to heal and learn you will find out that those things are not specific to only one person in the world. You can find them again. Work on yourself. Its what you need to do anyways for this relationship or the next. If you haven't checked out Al's Turtle site, go here. http://al.turtlecounseling.com/blog/_archives/2005/3/8/410458.html Start reading. You will find valuable info... Hang in there. Rob
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