KenyonKey Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 I come from a really conservative family who is all about arranged marriages. I met my ex when I was studying abroad 2 years ago and moved to a new country for him. My family gave me a choice - either them or him. They have not spoken to me in a year. My ex and I were doing great, but things got really tough as I was settling in the country, missed my friends and also felt so lonely that my family just stopped talking to me. My boyfriend told me before I moved that he would never leave me and he is not going anywhere. He has broken up with my three times. The second time he broke up with me - we made up and he told me I was the strongest woman he met and that he was dedicating his life to me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. We were fine. He dumped me again a week ago and said he does not want to spend his future with me. He said he has been unhappy since I moved here because it has been all about me and he wants to dedicate everything to his career. He also said he needs space and that he hasn't been spending time with friends or networking because of me - which is an absolute lie! I don't have a chain around him whatsoever. He is really stressed with his work because he has not found money for his start-up. So he is going a bit crazy and has started playing video games. I have encouraged him to find a job in the mean time, but he doesn't listen as he says he wants to work for himself only. It makes it so hard because we live together. I've moved out and am staying with a really kind friend. I know he can't afford our rent by himself, but I am offering to pay my friend and don't want to pay double rent. It just feels so lonely because I am basically alone in this country except for 3 friends and I can't imagine how my boyfriend could have done this to me after knowing my condition. I have not contacted him for 4 days and will keep strong. I have never felt so low in my life because I begged and pleaded with him to take me back and he was so emotionless. His birthday is coming up in two weeks and I had booked this weekend trip and he told me to cancel it. I'm so broken right now - I followed my heart, believed a guy and now just left in the cold. Any guidance/advice from you all is welcome =)
silly_panda Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 Well... You should know nothing ruled over family rite (unless it's an abusive one)..? I don't know your guy is going through a rough time or not but from what I see... He is a complete loser... In career wise, he don't even wanna try... What's wrong with working for people for the moment until you get your two feets on the ground and you can walk again..? He is just not trying... I don't have the rite to tell you what to do... But just think about it... He don't even wanna work it out with you in the relationship... It's best you are not with him... And, if possible, contact your family... No one and nothing is closer and more important than family...
danceallday Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 He wants you and then he doesn't? He shut down on you and broke it off. Go to nc and stop paying the rent on his place. It isn't your problem anymore, actions speak louder than words and his actions have been that of a douchebag. This hurts now and is hard, but you will feel so much better in the future when are free of this person. Go to nc. If you still have items at the apt then politely ask him to leave them out in a box, or drop them off or mail them to you. You can even have a friend pick them up. If you have any items he needs back you can mail those.
yessy21 Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 Oh dear. This is bad. He is bad news. hes self absorbed and not right for u. im soooo sorry. these type of decisions should only be made after u know someone well enough. its ok u have learned from ur mistake. Do not pay his rent or contact him. take the trip with a friend and let him drown himself in his sorrows. when he looks for u... IGNORE HIM. find enough means to get back to where u want to be and please note that if u go back to him he will do it over and over and over again. it will be a waste of time. sounds like he was just using u somehow. Im so sorry... please stay strong and dont let him step on u like a doormat i know that ur family did not raise u to be a loser. be the winner they brought up even though they should know that people make mistakes.
Author KenyonKey Posted September 9, 2011 Author Posted September 9, 2011 It just hurts so bad because he changed into this person when he started having problems with finding work. He was the most supportive person in the world who told me he would not go anywhere and that he was there for me. He supported me so much when I was having issues with my family early on in our relationship. I completely trusted him and took such a big risk. I have great support from my friends who are helping me. I just hope he has some empathy for me, as I have done so much for him.
yessy21 Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 Dont hope. If he had he would have never done it. a stressfull or tragic experience could have mad him a little bipolar. that and he is showing his true colors. his true persona. Please dont beg him or ask anything of him... u will make urself look like a loser and hell reject u even more. Be strong.
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