RedIvy Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 Alright, I "know" this is a stupid question, but for some reason I still need the reassurance. Is it normal to feel scared that you'll never find that person to love and him love you back? There are goals that I'm working on achieving as of now and its probably not the best time to search for love. But at the same time...I would like to have someone I would love to hear success stories on how you met the person you're with. I like reading about how fate took over and brought two people together rather than using the dating sites! Thanks!
Cee Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 For me, I worked on my goals first. I achieved career stability and financial independence. Also, I built a strong circle of friends. And I did therapy to deal with my depression and fear. I had gotten to the point where my life was complete and I loved myself unconditionally. I thought love would fall into my lap because I was ready. It didn't. I was single for another 2 years after that. The good thing was I was happy with my life. Being happy was a new thing for me. So I was happy and single. I dated and nothing came of it and I became demoralized. I thought I'd be forever single, but I still went on dates. Some guy asked me out and I thought that he wasn't serious because he was too young. But soon I knew we had something special. I have so much gratitude for meeting him. We have been together for over 7 months. I thought I'd be extra happy having a BF and a full life. It's not true. My life is full, but more stressful. Being in a relationship isn't a perfect life. It's simply different than being single.
Janesays Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 I met my current guy in 2nd grade. He was the first boy I ever loved. He was the smartest boy in class and I was the smartest girl, so in my head, we were on the fast track to marriage. I used to smack him upside the head repeatedly as a symbol of my undying devotion. I had a diary back then (Still have it) and nearly every entry is me talking about how much I love this boy. All the 2nd and 3rd grade, I loved him and then he moved away in the 4th grade. He moved back in high school, but we ran around in different social circles by then, so we never spoke. Time marched on and I went to college, excelled in my career, got married and divorced and all that jazz. One day, I see him on a 'mutual friends' list on facebook, so I sent a request. He posted a 'hi' message on my wall and I promptly started teasing him about my 2nd grade crush. We decided to grab a drink together to catch up and the rest is history. I'm hoping the first boy I ever loved will also be the last.
Emilia Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 I built the life I wanted to live and to attract the sort of man I'm happy with. I've met someone because him and I share the same outlook on life - even though we come from different cultures, he is 12 years younger than me and when we have our regular debates we frequently disagree You need to have an open mind to meet an amazing person. You can find them in places you would never expect
Cee Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 I had doubts that I wouldn't find love either, despite having had it before. Dating demoralized me and the accumulation of many "failures" had made me almost give up. I went on dating breaks often to get centered. I went on a 4 month dating break and took a trip to Germany by myself. It was amazing and I came back in a great mood. For some reason, I was getting a lot of attention from men. I was at a meet up and talking about my trip. A guy who was there overheard me and became interested. He asked me out. I was skeptical because he was much younger than me. But why not? We had a coffee date that led into many more dates. This is going to sound so corny, but when we first had sex, I knew we had something good. He was tender and caring, which is something I hadn't felt in many years. He made me believe in love again. After being single for 6 years, I forgot what it was like to love someone. We've been together for 7 months and are going on week's vacation today. I don't know what the future will hold, but it's been great so far.
sunshinegirl Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 I love Cee's posts, maybe because I had a similar path. Here's a shorthand list of things I did while "waiting for/looking for" love: --Worked on myself (career, finances, friends, travel, exercise, hobbies) --Got happy with my life regardless of whether I had a man in it --Focused on the positive/good (mantras really helped!) --Loosened my grip on "must find husband and have family!" (i.e. got more open to whatever life would bring) I met my husband while I was on a dating hiatus; mutual friends set us up. It wasn't quite love at first sight for me (though he was smitten right away); it took about 6 months for me to come around. When I did, though...boom. We knew very quickly that we wanted to spend our lives together. I should add that we are a bit older - 35 and 37 when we met. We've been married for 11 months and I'm about 7 weeks pregnant with our first kiddo.
KathyM Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 Alright, I "know" this is a stupid question, but for some reason I still need the reassurance. Is it normal to feel scared that you'll never find that person to love and him love you back? There are goals that I'm working on achieving as of now and its probably not the best time to search for love. But at the same time...I would like to have someone I would love to hear success stories on how you met the person you're with. I like reading about how fate took over and brought two people together rather than using the dating sites! Thanks! Love is possible to find at any age. It does get harder, though, as you get older, since the playing field of available candidates goes down. You have to take an active role in finding someone, though. Chances are, it's a lot less likely to happen if you don't get yourself out there into circulation, or in the case of a man looking for someone, not likely to find someone if you are afraid to approach anybody. I met my husband before internet dating websites existed. Met him when I was 18 through a mutual acquaintance, and married him 18 months later when I was 19. We've been married for many years, and are now middle aged. I had two serious boyfriends before I met my husband, and dated a few others before that. People do find love, and in this day and age, it is sometimes through dating websites. My niece found her SO on Match.com. She's been with him now for over a year. Use all the options available to you, and take an active role in finding someone. It will improve your chances.
Disillusioned Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 IME there's no such thing as love except what you make for yourself. I tried everything: waiting to get picked, going out and doing the picking, etc etc etc, but women are incapable of love. Then I got a Realdoll, and got more love from her than any real woman is capable of giving.
sunshinegirl Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 IME there's no such thing as love except what you make for yourself. I tried everything: waiting to get picked, going out and doing the picking, etc etc etc, but women are incapable of love. I'm pretty sure my husband would disagree with you. Then I got a Realdoll, and got more love from her than any real woman is capable of giving. More power to you!
KathyM Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 IME there's no such thing as love except what you make for yourself. I tried everything: waiting to get picked, going out and doing the picking, etc etc etc, but women are incapable of love. Then I got a Realdoll, and got more love from her than any real woman is capable of giving. lol. Well, good luck with that.
Cracker Jack Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 Love does happen. And I agree with Kathy completely.
Disillusioned Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 Love does happen. If you need proof of that, contact the company that makes the Realdoll and ask them how many units they've sold since they started in '96.
Wolf18 Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 (edited) Love only exists for women and a certain demographic of men. I'm 22 and I have never heard of or met any female who loved me. Love doesn't exist. Mutual need and sex is what it is. If romantic love (not familiar or friend love of course, this is indeed real) existed, everyone would have a shot at it. Instead, all I see is the same few guys always getting the female attention. Edited September 9, 2011 by Wolf18
bson1257 Posted September 10, 2011 Posted September 10, 2011 love doesn't happen if you have a small penis like I do
AHardDaysNight Posted September 10, 2011 Posted September 10, 2011 Love does happen, but only to fortunate people.
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