Persephone67 Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 I have been with my boyfriend for 3.5 yrs, and we have been living together for most of that time. Last November, after being without a job for 4 months, he decided to take a job out of town, that would be better pay/experience for him. First, it was just for the winter. That has turned into apparently a few years of apprenticeship. So over the last 6 months, he has been home for two visits. He was home for a month from mid-may to mid June. He was also home for a weekend in August. There's the backstory. Everyone that cares about me, friends, family, co-workers, my psychologist, all say I should break up with him. They also all think he's cheating on me. I agree with them, it is pretty bad, but everytime he calls I just feel like I'm gonna throw up, I can't say anything, I'm so scared. I know, it's pathetic, but if you can look past that and give me some advice I would appreciate it. Here are some examples of why it is a bad relationship: -In December, his facebook status randomly changed to "single". He told me that someone hacked his account, and he couldn't get it back. He then got back on a few months later, however it hasn't changed back, and that's the only thing changed by the "hacker" -He was home for a weekend in August. We went to a friend's function, then a bunch of us went to the bar. We were at the bar about 15 minutes when he said he and his friend were going to go to a different bar. I said, why don't we all go. He said, can't you just stay here with these girls. (First time seeing him in 3 months). He said I should be more independent. Wouldn't let me go with him. We met up at 2, and he was loaded. -In the month and weekend I saw him over the past 6 months, we had sex one time in the month and once on that weekend. When I have asked him to have sex, he says that I am coming off desperate, all I care about is sex, and that it is unattractive for me to ask. - When I finally got a cell phone a month ago, I texted him for a week straight, never got a reply. Everyone else got my messages just fine. When I got him on the phone a week later, he said he never got them, that I must have put his number in wrong (not possible). He then asked me to send another message, which he got right away. When I said I thought he had been ignoring me, he called me ridiculous and hung up the phone. - He needed to borrow money a lot over the winter, while he was "getting established". He has promised since many times over he's sending money, and never once has he given me a dime for our rent or household bills. I have paid it all for a year. - There are little lies and excuses, like sorry my phone died, phone's broken, had to work a 16 hour shift, been busy with work....sometimes he can go a week or 2 without calling or messaging me on fb or texting. - He has been gone since November, with infrequent visits home. However he's only 6 hours away, and I have never been allowed to visit. We had planned for me to go there for a week this summer, but he put it off and eventually cancelled it because he said i would be bored there cuz he's always working - Hadn't talked to him for 2 weeks, until today, when he randomly messages me saying he has been calling all week and why haven't i called him back and what's going on. I have call display and voicemail, there was no sign of him on either. Also, I phoned my phone company, and got them to check my incoming call log. They say he didn't call, either. But still he says he called. I know, I know. But please any words of wisdom are greatly appreciated!
Author Persephone67 Posted September 8, 2011 Author Posted September 8, 2011 Thanks for your honest opinion. I need to hear this. And no, I have come to realize I do not like being treated like a doormat. And no, in my past relationships it did not end up becoming like this. Thanks again
EgoJoe Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 Wow....this is so brutal. Here is what you do. You just don't answer him. As of today it's over and you treat it as such. No need to tell him. Guys like this give good dudes a BAD name. I would even take him to small claims court.
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