arlamai1 Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years (on/off) and currently we live apart (we didn't used to.) We decided a few months ago to move back in together in December to a town in between our current locations. The plan was that I would continue at my current job which would become a long commute and he would go to college which began on January 16th. His father recently passed away so my boyfriend has no money worries for a while, so was going to go back to college. This was all fine by me, we were going to split everything 50/50 and he would go to college during the day. Or so I assumed... I was looking to book some holiday in January so we could settle in to our new place, things had been going very well between us and I imagined us having a week off together to decorate and explore our new surroundings. I text my boyfriend asking him when his course started but he didn't reply. Assuming he was busy, I checked the course website which stated that the course started in February.. My boyfriend then text me back saying his induction was Jan 4th and term started jan 16th but that his 'induction wasn't mandatory'.. I then replied, totally baffled, asking why the website said the course started in Feb. Totally lost and hoping that there was a mistake, I even called the college who confirmed that the course started in Feb and that there was no set date as of yet. I didn't tell him I had called the college as this may seem completely over the top but I was hoping that the website was wrong. My boyfriend then got quite upset, feeling like I had been checking up on him but gave no explanation as to why the dates did not match up. I pressed further, assuming a logical reason but my boyfriend closed down, became quite angry and is now asking for a break to 'cool things down' and go back to having 'fun.' He feels that his course is none of my business as he will always have enough money to pay rent so I should stop interfering. We haven't spoken for several days on his request. I am incredibly upset as I feel he was lying to me. He hasn't had a job for nearly a year due partly to his father passing away in February and partly down to the recession. He currently lives with him mum. The thing is, he has a history of telling lies and I am concerned he was going to just pretend to go to college whilst I slogged it to and from my job. It isn't even the possible lie anymore that is hurting, it's the way he has completely shut down and made me feel like I am being unreasonable when all I really hoped was that we could finally get on and be a normal couple. I am wondering how to handle this from here. We are due to fly out to the Dominican in 5 weeks but I don't know if I want to be with a man who, when caught out in a lie, shuts down and ignores me for several days. Help x
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