joeyanna Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 After spending an agonising 36 hours thinking he wasn't going to reply, finally tonight he did. He thanked me for being patient and understanding during his voyage of discovery and that he's sorry that he had offered me nothing during this time and asked if we could meet up next week for a coffee as he feels he at least owes me that much. I thanked him for his kind text and accepted his offer but played it cool and said that we would touch base in a few days to arrange a time. I'll now leave it a few days and wait for him to come to me. Hope I've done the right thing?
sm1tten Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 Did he actually use the term "voyage of discovery?" If I were you, I would have just let this one go. There's pretty much no amount of "discovery" that's going to keep someone from responding to a text for three days after almost three weeks of no contact unless they pretty much didn't really want to.
make me believe Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 I don't know the backstory here, but I'm with Jane. Why bother?? You're obviously way into this guy and he's not into you and not interested in a relationship. So what's the point in even meeting up for coffee? You're not going to somehow convince him to be with you. I would've texted back "no thanks on the coffee, but good luck on your voyage of discovery." I mean wtf? "Voyage of discovery" lol.
Author joeyanna Posted September 8, 2011 Author Posted September 8, 2011 I don't know the backstory here, but I'm with Jane. Why bother?? You're obviously way into this guy and he's not into you and not interested in a relationship. So what's the point in even meeting up for coffee? You're not going to somehow convince him to be with you. I would've texted back "no thanks on the coffee, but good luck on your voyage of discovery." I mean wtf? "Voyage of discovery" lol. Partly because I'm curious I guess, would like to hear what he has to say. As for wanting a relationship, I admit, I did, but not any more, I've had time to think over the last 36 hours and realised I'm worth more than he can offer however I can understand how he feel as I'm going through something similar myself - okay, maybe wouldn't call it a voyage of discovery but anyone who's has come out of a long relationship (or marriage in my case), will relate to the fact that you can sometimes lose you sense of identity, I went from being 'wife' and 'best friend' to just 'me' again, someone who had mentally invested in a future with a husband only for that future to be erased and it does take a while to figure out who you are. It was actually a very nice text and I'm hoping it will allow me to draw a line under it and move on with someone more deserving!
Janesays Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 Partly because I'm curious I guess, would like to hear what he has to say. Really? I think it's pretty obvious what he's going to say. He's going to let you down easy, in person, because he seems like a nice guy who wants to do the right thing even though he's just not that into you. You're going to get the 'let's just be friends' speech. If you want to hear it, go have coffee with him. However, please don't go into it thinking that this dude is going to suddenly want to date you. He's not.
Author joeyanna Posted September 8, 2011 Author Posted September 8, 2011 Really? I think it's pretty obvious what he's going to say. He's going to let you down easy, in person, because he seems like a nice guy who wants to do the right thing even though he's just not that into you. You're going to get the 'let's just be friends' speech. If you want to hear it, go have coffee with him. However, please don't go into it thinking that this dude is going to suddenly want to date you. He's not. I'm under no illusions on that front and have a date lined up with someone else next week. And yes, he is a nice guy and maybe we can be friends but he has too many issues to confront and quite frankly I don't want to get involved emotionally, he's clearly not ready for a relationship and maybe neither am I. Perhaps I also now feel more in control, if he wants to meet up with me, he has to do the running and if he flakes out and doesn't get in touch again, I feel okay with that now. I guess I've had my apology/grovel from him, that's all I wanted.
Ayla Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 Joey, I think it is great that you heard from him - however not replying for 3 days to a text after no contact for a few weeks is not great. I can understand that you would want to hear what he has to say, and also I do understand his need to work himself out....but IMO he would have replied earlier if things were looking more positive. I know that when the time for coffee is set, you will go - please be strong and have no expectations.
Author joeyanna Posted September 9, 2011 Author Posted September 9, 2011 Joey, I think it is great that you heard from him - however not replying for 3 days to a text after no contact for a few weeks is not great. I can understand that you would want to hear what he has to say, and also I do understand his need to work himself out....but IMO he would have replied earlier if things were looking more positive. I know that when the time for coffee is set, you will go - please be strong and have no expectations. Awww Ayla, thanks for your concern but I feel so much better about this, I've mentally moved on so this is just 'coffee', nothing more, nothing less. It was only really just over a day, not 3 days to reply but I know what you mean. He texted last night without any prompting from me (I'm letting him do the running from now on) to say he hoped I was okay and that we would speak soon. I have no expectations and I'll get a free cup of tea out of it lol.
Feelin Frisky Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 Best of luck to you. I hope it turns out the way you'd most like.
Author joeyanna Posted September 9, 2011 Author Posted September 9, 2011 Update....we spoke earlier and it seems that he didn't receive my text - I did wonder at the time whether it had actually sent as my phone crashed mid send and I had to turn it off and back on again and although it charged me for me for a sent text, it remained in my outbox....so he actually texted me, off his own back, unprompted! Makes no difference really though to how I feel about the situation - will have to wait and see!
Author joeyanna Posted September 9, 2011 Author Posted September 9, 2011 Best of luck to you. I hope it turns out the way you'd most like. That's really nice of you to say, thank you so much!
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